OUAT: Obsession

Last time on “Once:” A dirigible from the Land of Untold Stories crash-landed in Storybrooke and our heroes braced themselves for an influx of new people. Hyde kept smirking about the place, believing he owned it. Our heroes quickly put him in his place and he was given residence in Zelena’s old cell.

Speaking of Zelena, she moved in with Regina. And continued to show questionable parenting skills. She also lost the feather Roland gave her to give Regina. While she bottled up that rage, I didn’t. But after a talk with Snow, Regina finally had it out with her sister. Zelena gave it right back and then decided to move out.

Emma started to experience a tic with her hand as well as a terrifying vision of her fighting a hooded creature. Her family grew concerned and sent Archie to talk to her. She resisted, asking Hyde what he knew. He advised her to follow the bird. It lead her to a little girl that had been with Aladdin and Jafar in the cold open, who told her that she saw her own death—the hooded creature would run Emma through with a sword.

Of course, she decided not to tell her family.

Meanwhile, Rumple used some dust Hyde gave him to enter Belle’s dreams so he could wake her. Morpheus greeted him and brought him to where Belle was spending her dreams—in a replica of Dark One Manor. But Rumple needed to remind her of how much she loved him through recreating the Beauty and the Beast dance. It also reminded her of all the horrible things he had done to her so she rejected him. Morpheus praised her, revealing that he’s really their unborn child. He told her not to go back to Rumple and then used True Love’s Kiss to wake her. Belle peaced out of there while Rumple seethed.

As the people from the Land of Untold Stories came to Storybrooke, Regina and Snow had a heart-to-heart in which Regina decided to start a new story for herself. One without the Evil Queen. As she embraced that, a feather floated down. Of course, unbeknownst to her, the Evil Queen was already in town and buttering up Zelena.

Uh oh.

We open in the cemetery as the Evil Queen and Zelena head to Regina’s vault. Since Regina used blood magic to seal her vault, the Queen easily gets past the protection spells and heads inside. She raids Regina’s stash while Zelena asks why she’s there. The Queen says she needs Zelena’s help and is hoping that she won’t tell Regina that she’s back. Not yet. Zelena looks torn as the Queen appears set on getting her revenge on Regina for trying to get rid of her.

(Zelena isn't too sure about this)

In the morning, Regina and Henry stand outside Granny’s. She’s gotten a haircut but it’s never mentioned. Ever. She almost looks like Season 1 Regina again, though maybe a bit longer and fluffier. Anyway, she’s nervous because she’s about to address the people of the Land of Untold Stories and really face everybody since removing the Evil Queen. Henry assures her that she’s going to be awesome and that she’s still a leader.

Regina enters Granny and addresses everyone. She welcomes the people from the Land of Untold Stories to Storybrooke. And she assures them that whatever reason made their stories stop would be explored, resolved and they would be supported as their stories started to play out again. She tells them that she’s starting over as well and so they can do it together.

(Yay, Mayor Mills!)

As people continue to mill about, Belle enters the diner. Emma is surprised to see her and Belle is like, “Yes, I’m out of the box and awake.” She also says that she’s not with Rumple anymore and is looking for a place to stay. She’s hoping Granny has a room but with all the refuges from the Land of Untold Stories, it looks like space might be scarce. Besides, Emma says she wouldn’t wish Granny’s mattresses on her worst enemy (which earns a look of disdain from Granny) and promises to find her some place better. Hook thinks he knows the place. Emma says he can take Belle while she goes to her appointment with Archie. Hook is surprised but pleased to hear she’s still going. They kiss and Emma heads out.

(Belle's awake!)

Henry sits at the counter with the second storybook as a young man dressed in late 18th century/early 19th century garb enters, looking haggard. Henry asks the man who he is so they can find his story but the man insists he’s not important enough to be in any book. Not accepting the answer, Henry opens the book and starts flipping through the pages. But when he looks up, the man is gone. All that’s left is an envelope addressed to the Charmings.

(What a lovely wax seal)

We cut to a lovely ball being held in what appears to be Georgian times, judging by the costumes. For those who are a bit confused, think of any movie adaptation of a Jane Austen novel. I wonder if Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett are fighting in a corner somewhere or if Emma Woodhouse is trying to set two poor souls up while Mr. Knightley rolls his eyes behind her back.

Sorry. I’m an Austenite.

The host of the ball is introduced and the Count of Monte Cristo enters the room. It is the same man who was talking to Henry. An older gentleman thanks the Count for the ball and the Count says they should thank him. He leads the others in a toast to the Baron before revealing that the Baron should know him. As he gets closer, the Baron finally recognizes him as Edmund Dantes, who he put in jail personally.

Dantes reveals that he escaped and has been plotting revenge for the past decade since the Baron not only had him arrested but burned his house, spent his fortune and killed his fiancée. (I thought in the original book, he stole the fiancée? Am I remembering wrong?) Anyway, he built up his fortune and planned this night so he could finally get his revenge against the Baron. He pulls a sword and everyone starts to panic. Dantes demands to know who was working with the Baron for he couldn’t have ruined him alone. The Baron refuses to talk and Dantes kills him as the guests run from the room, including one woman who is smart enough to bring her drink with her.

One person remains and she applauds as she approaches, revealing the Evil Queen. She asks if Dantes really waited ten years to get his revenge and he said it passed in a blink of an eye. She admires his commitment and then asks how he’s going to find the others who ruined his life. Dantes says he’ll spend the rest of his life getting his revenge if necessary. The Queen offers to give him a list of everyone who wronged him and he wonders what she wants in exchange. Why, she wants revenge, of course!

(Hot damn)

The Charmings are confused about why the man would want to meet them. Henry tries to figure out who he is, going from the Invisible Man to Count Dracula. He rules that last one out because the sun’s out. Snow says he’s thinking of the wrong count anyway as she reveals the note is from the Count of Monte Cristo. Granny makes a comment about how she doesn’t serve the Monte Cristo and David replies that it’s a place whose count is very well known. They wonder why he wants to meet with them and Regina says he wants his revenge. As the Charmings ask why he would want revenge against them, Regina reveals that he doesn’t. But for him to get his revenge, he has to kill them…just like she hired him to do.

("We probably should've seen this coming")

Archie tells Emma that she’s in a safe space and she starts telling him about the vision she’s been having. She tells him it ends with her dying and admits that it’s the first time she’s said it out loud. Archie says that talking about it will help her deal with it. She asks if she should tell her family and he asks why she hasn’t. Emma replies that it’s because they’ll make her stop helping people while they try to fix it. Archie asks why it would be so bad. Emma says that she’s the savior and if she’s not saving people…who is she?

Despite that question feeling like Emma’s having an existential crisis, she insists she’s not there because of some identity crisis. Archie seems to disagree and Emma storms off in a huff.

(Archie looks so over this)

The Charmings and Regina sneak into the room the Count is staying in at Granny’s. And hello Season 1 flashback—I believe it’s the same room where Graham and Regina used to meet up for their “Saturday council meetings” (AKA sexytimes). They discover the Count’s stationery kit while David also discovers his cache of weapons. 

(That's a lot of knives and swords)

The Charmings ask about why she didn’t tell them about him trying to kill them and Regina says she had no idea he was in Storybrooke. She asks if they really want to know about every time she’s tried to kill them. David says yes. Regina apologizes and promises she’s trying to do better but the Count didn’t get the message. Snow says since she hired him, she has to fire him but Regina’s already figured that out. She agrees to go to the dirigible but asks the Charmings to stay away until she can call off the Count. Snow says he can’t be too much of a danger since it took two curses and a side trip to the Land of Untold Stories to find them. Regina replies that it isn’t true.

Horses race through the forest until they come to a ruined village. Grumpy asks why they let the Evil Queen go again and Snow replies that they hoped she would change. He says she has—now she’s destroying villages rather than ransacking them. They hear someone coughing and discover the Count, who introduces himself as Edmund. He says he owned the vineyard and stayed behind to try to put out the fires. Snow and Charming offer him some aid and call for someone named Charlotte.

Charlotte is a pretty blonde woman dressed in a lovely white dress that looks nicer than what Snow is wearing. Snow says she’s her handmaiden and that all the fighting with Regina has made Charlotte an expert healer. Charlotte tends to Edmund and he is captivated by her eyes.

(Hi, Charlotte!)

He stands and says that since the queen burned everything, he wants revenge. Snow and Charming says that the best revenge is to live happy lives and not let hatred consume them. They offer him a position as wine steward at their palace and he accepts.

Regina waits at the dirigible for the Count. He shows up and says she’s not on the guest list. She calls off the hit on the Charmings and he asks if they convinced her that being happy is revenge enough. Regina says they have and says she knows that revenge doesn’t make up for losing a love. She’s learned that over the years and offers to help the Count. He says that she might have started him on the path he’s on but she can’t take him off it. The Count hurls a sword at her and Regina stops it with her magic. She picks it up but the Count is gone by then.

(Awesome)

Emma gets a call from Regina and says that the Count is dead set on killing the Charmings. They are sitting in the sheriff’s car…without Neal, I guess he can fend for himself…and Emma hits the gas. Snow asks where she’s taking them and then panics when she spots the town line. Emma feels it’s the safest spot and did anyone think of their baby boy? Anyone? Well, apparently the town line did because Emma’s car crashes into it. They can’t leave Storybrooke.

You know, like usual.

Hook has brought Belle to the Jolly Roger but she doesn’t feel right staying there as it could put Hook in more danger. But he explains that after all the ways he’s wronged her, this is a way for him to make it up to her. Because while others have forgiven him, he’s yet to forgive himself. But he’s getting there. So Belle accepts it and says she’s trying to forgive herself for trying to make it work with Rumple when it was clear it wasn’t going to. She has to think of her son now.

(Captain Beauty friendship)

Regina goes to the town line as Emma shows her that there’s a spell on it, similar to the one from Season 1. But Regina says it’s exactly the same spell. She says the only way to cast it is with ingredients from her vault…which is sealed with blood magic. Zelena appears, making a snide comment about cars, and Regina asks about the spell on the town line. Zelena feigns ignorance and when Regina points out she’s the only one who can open the vault, she snaps back she isn’t. She then pretends she doesn’t know who else could open and then grows indignant over Regina’s accusations. She poofs herself out of there as Regina says that the count might not be the only one they need to worry about.

(Trying to look like she doesn't know anything)

In her palace, the Evil Queen practices sword fighting with one of her guards. She gets the best of him and then runs him through as the Count appears. He praises her skills and she says he inspired her. The Count reveals he is now the Charmings’ wine steward and is about to serve them for the first time. She’s pleased they accepted him and gives him a vial she says is filled with the venom of the Agrabah viper. The Queen explains it’s a bitter draught (title drop!) and promises a slow death. So she’s going to poison Snow with the same venom that killed Leopold?

(Running out of ideas, Your Majesty?)

The Count asks her what they did for her to want revenge against them since they’ve been nothing but kind to him. She laughs and says she hopes he isn’t going soft. He insists it’s just professional curiosity. The Queen tells him the only thing he needs to focus on is getting his own revenge and brandishes the list to punctuate her point. He pockets the poison and leaves.

At that point, Rumpelstiltskin shows up. The Evil Queen reveals that the Count is her way around the protection spell he put on the Charmings that prevents her from harming them. Rumple points out he helped her get the Dark Curse so she could send them someplace where she could hurt them. But Regina has no interest in leaving the Enchanted Forest. She also reveals she put the same protection spell on the Count so Rumple can’t hurt him. Then she taunts him and these two have such a flirtatious relationship it’s…kinda creepy, honestly. Rumple leaves as she laughs.

(I need brain bleach)

We return to the Pawnshop as Gold enters, all alone. He examines everything before realizing someone’s been in his safe. Without turning around, he says that he couldn’t believe it when he heard that Regina had separated the Evil Queen from her. He turns around and is like “Yet here you are. Now give it back.” The Evil Queen sighs and holds up…is that an old token? It looks like the old tokens my parents used to keep in the car before we got E-Z Pass. Gold asks her to return it and she does but she asks if he’ll make a deal for it. He asks her not to hurt Belle and his unborn son while she’s doing…whatever it is she has planned. She agrees before flirting with him, asking if he wants anything more. When he refuses, she says that when he gets over the “bookworm,” he’ll know where to find her.

Excuse me while I go get some bleach for my brain.

Edmund pours the Agrabah venom into the wine he’s about to serve Snow and Charming. They sit by themselves at a big table…but wait! Someone is going to be joining them as they request an extra goblet. Charlotte rushes in, apologizing for running late. Snow explains that Charlotte will be leaving them and Charlotte explains that her mother is ill and so she must go home to tend to her. Edmund begins to panic as he pours her the poisoned wine, once again noting her eyes. She thanks him before Snow toasts Charlotte. As they start to take sips, Edmund stops them. He covers by saying a momentous occasion calls for just the right wine and he knows the perfect bottle. He takes all their glasses and hurries down to the wine cellar.

(To death!)

Henry and Regina go through the dirigible again. She says she’s upset because she promised everyone from the Land of Untold Stories that everything would be okay and so far, the first story is not okay. And she’s responsible for that. Regina stops short when she comes across Charlotte’s body, horrified that she died from the venom she had given the Count. When she goes to touch her, a pulse of magic hits her and she asks what’s going on. The Evil Queen says the handmaiden’s story had finally come up to her as disbelief and fear cross Regina’s face.

(That look says it all)

As Henry turns around, the Queen calls him sweetie and tells him that Mommy’s back. Regina is astonished and says that she killed the Evil Queen. The Queen’s like “You think it was that easy? Please.” Regina tries to conjure a fireball but her magic is on the fritz. The Queen reveals that she cast a magic dampening charm on Charlotte’s cloak. She says that the Count is going to destroy the Charmings just like he was ordered and Regina realizes she is controlling him. The Queen reveals she has The Count’s heart and says that Regina will realize that she needs her. She then says the Count’s story will play out before leaving.

(Double trouble!)

Snow and Charming go to the docks, where The Count finds them. They have an intense fight there where Edmund reveals he’s being controlled by the Evil Queen, who has his heart. Thankfully, the Charmings realize he means that actual Evil Queen and not Regina. Snow is confused as she was on the roof when Regina killed her evil half but David assures her that they will defeat her. They always do. Edmund hopes so as he knocks them out. He says he had envisioned a different ending for all of them.

(This town has a serious narcolepsy problem)

The Count retreats to the wine cellar where there is a HUGE carving of what I guess is Snow’s family’s coat of arms. Which includes a very familiar lion and it just pisses me off that we never got the backstory to Robin’s tattoo given how important it was. Maybe we’ll get it now that Robin’s coming back.

Anyway, Rumple shows up and decides to take drastic measures to make sure the Count doesn’t poison Snow and Charming like the Queen wants. He somehow poisons Charlotte and taunts the Count with memories of the fiancée he couldn’t save. But he does offer him a way to save Charlotte, holding up a key to the Land of Untold Stories. Rumple explains it won’t cure Charlotte but it will stop their stories and halt the poison in her body, so they will have time together. The Count takes the key, opens the door and then carries Charlotte through the portal.

(Dear Count: Do not trust this man!)

On the dock, Regina shows up and starts a duel with the Count. She says she knows the Queen has his heart and she’s sorry about Charlotte. But she says they can change his story and let it play out differently. The Count doesn’t seem to agree and continues to fight her. Regina tries to conjure up a fireball but her magic is still wonky. And when Henry tries to call Emma, his cellphone is affected by a weird effect that prevents him from using it. The Count advances on Snow and David, forcing Regina to throw her sword at him to stop him. He dies as the Charmings regain consciousness, finding Regina crying over The Count’s body. She says she had no other choice.

(Poor baby)

But the Evil Queen says she did. She taunts Regina, saying that heroes generally find a third way so she guesses Regina isn’t a hero after all. Regina flies into a rage, realizing that the Queen wanted her to kill the Count. The Queen doesn’t deny it and says that she wanted Regina to realize there was still darkness inside her. When Regina threatens to rip out her heart, the Queen is overjoyed. She says that the darkness will grow and consume Regina again.

Snow tells Regina not to listen to her and the Queen is not thrilled to see her. Snow says they will defeat her but the Queen says she’s not going to destroy their happy endings, Regina is. I think. She said “You are” while looking at her but it could’ve been the plural “you” since she says that the people from the Land of Untold Stories aren’t the only ones that have stories they don’t want told. That once our heroes’ stories play out, their lives will be shattered and she’ll just watch them tear themselves apart. She laughs before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

(She's really enjoying this)

At Granny’s, Regina drowns her sorrows in whiskey. Snow and Emma assure her that they will defeat the Evil Queen. Regina doesn’t look so sure. Snow wonders what the Queen meant by everyone having stories they don’t want told and there’s a joke about Snow and secrets that’s just too easy. Regina and Emma look uncomfortable as Emma recalls the vision of her death.

(Definitely a pity party)

Over at the counter, Henry is frustrated that the Count’s story ended the way it did. He says he should’ve seen this being the way Operation Cobra Part II ended since they’re dealing with a sequel. The stakes are always bigger in the sequel. Captain Hook is confused and Henry rattles off a bunch of sequels that mean nothing to him. Henry says they’ll have a movie night soon before saying that the first curse was simple. The people were ripped from stories they wanted to finish while the people from the Land of Untold Stories don’t want theirs to finish. David says they’ll figure it out and encourages Henry to keep reading.

David discovers an envelope addressed to him on one of the stools. He opens it and finds the MTA token, confused. Hook asks if anything is wrong and David lies before going outside for some air.
The Evil Queen is waiting for him and he tells her that an MTA token isn’t going to throw him off. It’s just the good luck token he wrapped around his father’s wrist before he left on the trip where he fell off the wagon and then was killed in a cart accident. The Queen nods before posing one question to him: “Are you certain it was an accident?”

("I don't get it. Turnstiles don't even take this anymore")

At the farmhouse, Peanut cries and Zelena goes to tend to her daughter. She is surprised when she finds the little girl in the arms of the Evil Queen, who entertains her with a familiar silver rattle. The Queen explains it was one Cora gave her and she gives it to Zelena for Peanut. Zelena is touched to have something from their mother. The Queen reveals she passed the test since she didn’t tell Regina about her. And we all know the Queen appreciates people who can keep secrets. And thus a wickedly evil pact is born.

(I'll have one!)

Emma storms into Archie’s office. She says she wants to tell her family about the vision but she has a problem. Archie asks her what it is. She says that she might know who is under the hood as there is only one person who isn’t seen in her vision—Regina. He asks her if she thinks it’s the Evil Queen or Regina. Her response?

She doesn’t know.

(Emma needs a hug)

Let’s just take a moment to appreciate the wonder that is Lana Parrilla. She is playing opposite herself and it looks flawless. And the range of emotions and how different each character is…it’s amazing. Bravo!

I feel like they could’ve done so much more with the Count of Monte Cristo. He has such a great story and they kinda squandered it. It was the weakest part of the episode—everything else with the Queen was so strong. And the bit about him and Charlotte just felt so rushed. He was willing to throw away his plans for revenge just because her eyes reminded him of his fiancée? It wasn’t fleshed out, unlike in Timeless where we saw Wyatt feel drawn to Kate Drummond for a similar reason. The writers there then fleshed out their relationship and made you care about Kate’s ultimate fate. Here? Did anyone care that Charlotte kicked it?

Anyone?

Next week: Cinderella returns! 

Screen caps from here.