OUAT: Beowulf? Really?

Last time on “Once:” David was haunted by the ghost of his father, so he dragged Hook on a quest to discover what happened to the man. It involved a murder board, stealing ingredients from Emma, creating a potion and getting information from August that led to King George.

Meanwhile, Hook agreed to accompany David because he was worried for his friend and he wanted him to see him as more than a pirate. Especially since he bought a ring for Emma! Archie nearly lost it when he saw the ring and he encouraged Hook to ask David how he felt about Hook.

Anyway, in the Enchanted Forest, Robert and Ruth had no money for medicines for their ailing twin boys. So Rumple made them a deal—money for medicine for one while taking the other to live as a prince with King George. He made Robert flip a coin to choose which child to take—James being the winner.

Years later, the guilt over his decision drove Robert to drink. While he drowned his sorrows, King George entered the tavern to announced Prince James had been abducted. He offered a reward to anyone who brought the boy back. Robert, though, decided to go after James to bring him home to David and Ruth, so they could be a family again. Little David made his father promise to come home and stop drinking. He even gave him his lucky coin.

Rumple agreed to help Robert, directing him to Pleasure Island. There, Robert encountered Pinocchio, who helped him find James. The young prince said he ran away because he didn’t want to kill people. Robert said he would take him home instead and tried to leave with the boy. But King George found them and took James back. He then ordered Robert killed.

David felt more at peace after learning about his father’s fate. He thanked Hook, who then asked for his blessing to marry Emma. David gave it and all was well.

However, when August delivered the pages of his story he had taken back in Season 1, Hook got a nasty shock. It turned out that while King George had ordered Robert’s death, Hook had really killed Robert while robbing the king of his gold.

Uh oh.

We open in the middle of a battle. One young soldier gets overwhelmed by everything going on and tries to run for it. Another soldier stops him. The young one says that the ogres will kill them all and that they should just flee for their lives. The older one reminds him that they are the only things standing between the ogres and their homes. He pulls out a sword and says it’s been enchanted with light magic, guaranteeing its bearer victory in battle. He asks if the young soldier wants to stand and fight or be known as a coward. The young soldier agrees to fight and then calls the other soldier Beowulf.

Yep, that Beowulf.

OUAT: High Adventure

Last time on “Once:” The Evil Queen and Mr. Hyde teamed up, making an enemy of Rumpelstiltskin, who cut his hair following Belle’s rejection. Fearing for Belle and his unborn child, he trapped her on the Jolly Roger and insisted it was for her own good.

Suuuure.

Meanwhile, Hyde and the Evil Queen crashed Jekyll and Frankenstein’s lab to destroy the serum that could defeat them. They thought they had saved some but Rumple forced Regina to use it on his dagger. He then tried to defeat Hyde but it turns out it was a harmless potion. Hyde used the dagger to control Rumple.

We also learned more about Jekyll and Hyde. Jekyll wanted to separate the “evil” parts from his patients, to help them with their maladies. His friend Mary tried to get him into the Academy of Sciences but her father rejected Jekyll. So Rumple helped him with his potion and thus Hyde was born.

So was a strange love triangle. For Jekyll loved Mary but she only saw him as a friend. But she did love Hyde, who reciprocated. When Jekyll learned of this, he grew angry and ended up backing a frightened Mary out of a window, where she fell to her death. He changed into Hyde and fled. Rumple found him and angry that Hyde still felt love, banished him to the Land of Untold Stories.

Why did Rumple care? Because he had hoped to use the serum to remove the weakness inside him—AKA his emotions and ability to feel love. Yet now Jekyll and Hyde want revenge against him, with Jekyll going after Belle. She fights him off and Hook finishes him, which also kills Hyde. Regina is horrified to learn she’ll have to die to kill the Evil Queen.

Belle, meanwhile, was rightfully pissed at Rumple and she insisted they were through. Rumple insisted she would need to come back to him one day to keep her and their son safe. It was just plain wrong.

I’m so sorry, Rumbelle fans. You all deserve so much better.

Oh! And Snow got a new TA who is really Princess Jasmine.

We open in Agrabah. Or rather, the capital of Agrabah. But let’s just call it Agrabah, okay? Anyway, we zoom through a bazaar as guards gather up several people accused of stealing. Aladdin slinks through the crowd, stealing as Jafar delivers a speech about how bad things have gotten. He then uses his magic to turn the thieves into rats. You know, street rats. Everyone gasps in horror.

(Agrabah)

OUAT: Sympathy, Tenderness

Last time on “Once:” Snow and David found themselves the target of the famous Count of Monte Cristo when he arrived from the Land of Untold Stories. Turned out Regina hired him to kill them back in the Enchanted Forest and he was determined to follow through. She tried to call him off but he refused to back down, saying he had to see it through to the end.

She asked Emma to take her parents somewhere safe and the Charmings were alarmed to see her taking them to the town line. But the barrier was still up and Emma’s car crashed into it. Regina realized it was the same spell she had on the town line back during Curse #1 and said the only way to cast it was to use ingredients from her vault, sealed with blood magic. She asked Zelena about it but she denied having anything to do with it. Pissed off at the accusation, Zelena peaced out.

In the Enchanted Forest, Regina hired the Count to kill Snow and Charming for her because Rumple put a protection spell on them, preventing her from killing them directly. He agreed in order to get the names of everyone who wronged him but had a change of heart after meeting them…and their handmaiden, Charlotte. When it seemed Charlotte was going to be a victim, he decided not to go through with it. Rumple, though, poisoned her anyway and sent the Count into the Land of Untold Stories with her.

Now, though, the Evil Queen taunted Regina and then revealed she had the Count’s heart, controlling him, after Regina was forced to kill him to save the Charmings. The Evil Queen told them that everyone has an untold story—even them—and soon they will tear themselves apart while she sits back and watches. This unnerved Regina but Snow and Emma assured her that they will defeat the Queen.

Meanwhile, the Queen aligned herself with Zelena, got something off Rumple, who was still stinging over the fact Belle left him and was rooming with Hook, and then the Queen used what she took off Rumple to torment Charming about his father.

Deep breaths!

Regina leads Snow and Charming down the hospital hallway where she meets up with Nurse Ratchet. The nurse hands Regina a tray and she says they are going to bribe Hyde with her lasagna for some information. But when she opens the door, she’s shocked to find out that someone redecorated it and gave Hyde a steak dinner with wine. She realizes the queen beat them to it and he says that the price of his information has gone up. He holds out his handcuffs but no one moves to remove them. Hyde sighs and taunts the queen, saying she was going to have to stay one step ahead of herself now.

(Fancy digs. The Evil Queen is snazzy interior decorator)

OUAT: Obsession

Last time on “Once:” A dirigible from the Land of Untold Stories crash-landed in Storybrooke and our heroes braced themselves for an influx of new people. Hyde kept smirking about the place, believing he owned it. Our heroes quickly put him in his place and he was given residence in Zelena’s old cell.

Speaking of Zelena, she moved in with Regina. And continued to show questionable parenting skills. She also lost the feather Roland gave her to give Regina. While she bottled up that rage, I didn’t. But after a talk with Snow, Regina finally had it out with her sister. Zelena gave it right back and then decided to move out.

Emma started to experience a tic with her hand as well as a terrifying vision of her fighting a hooded creature. Her family grew concerned and sent Archie to talk to her. She resisted, asking Hyde what he knew. He advised her to follow the bird. It lead her to a little girl that had been with Aladdin and Jafar in the cold open, who told her that she saw her own death—the hooded creature would run Emma through with a sword.

Of course, she decided not to tell her family.

Meanwhile, Rumple used some dust Hyde gave him to enter Belle’s dreams so he could wake her. Morpheus greeted him and brought him to where Belle was spending her dreams—in a replica of Dark One Manor. But Rumple needed to remind her of how much she loved him through recreating the Beauty and the Beast dance. It also reminded her of all the horrible things he had done to her so she rejected him. Morpheus praised her, revealing that he’s really their unborn child. He told her not to go back to Rumple and then used True Love’s Kiss to wake her. Belle peaced out of there while Rumple seethed.

As the people from the Land of Untold Stories came to Storybrooke, Regina and Snow had a heart-to-heart in which Regina decided to start a new story for herself. One without the Evil Queen. As she embraced that, a feather floated down. Of course, unbeknownst to her, the Evil Queen was already in town and buttering up Zelena.

Uh oh.

We open in the cemetery as the Evil Queen and Zelena head to Regina’s vault. Since Regina used blood magic to seal her vault, the Queen easily gets past the protection spells and heads inside. She raids Regina’s stash while Zelena asks why she’s there. The Queen says she needs Zelena’s help and is hoping that she won’t tell Regina that she’s back. Not yet. Zelena looks torn as the Queen appears set on getting her revenge on Regina for trying to get rid of her.

(Zelena isn't too sure about this)

OUAT: Snow White and the Bad Attitude

Last time on OUAT Season 1: It was a Ruby/Red centric episode! After a fight with Granny, Ruby quitted her job and moved out. She ended up staying with Mary Margaret and Emma. After witnessing Ruby answering the phones at the station, Emma decided to give her a job and let her help with the Kathryn Nolan case. Ruby was able to find an unconscious David, who Whale believed was having blackouts related to his coma, and then she located a box buried in the woods with truly horrifying contents. It made her re-evaluate her life and she returned to the diner, where Granny admitted she was harder on Ruby because she planned on turning the diner over to her one day. They then hugged it out.

In the Enchanted Forest, Red Riding Hood was chafing under her grandmother’s restrictions. She had fallen in love with her childhood friend, Peter, but Granny disapproved. And with a bloodthirsty wolf on the prowl, Granny refused to let her out often.

Red found Snow rifling through their henhouse and the two became fast friends. She confided about her feelings for Peter and then enlisted Snow to help her kill the wolf. As they tracked it, they determined the wolf was also human…and was Peter. So Red told him and offered to chain him up so he wouldn’t hurt anyone that night. Then they would run away together. It was a good plan except for one problem…

Peter wasn’t the wolf. Red was.

Granny and Snow arrived too late to save Peter but Snow took Red, running away with her to save her from the mob.

Emma informed David and Mary Margaret about what was in the box—a heart they believe to be Kathryn’s. David collapsed in shock that he could do something. Emma, though, said that the prints didn’t come back to him—they came back to Mary Margaret.

dun dun DUN!

We open in the Enchanted Forest. King George’s army chases Red and Charming as they ride across the snow covered fields. As they close in, Red decides to send Charming on ahead while she holds them off. She tells him to find Snow as she glances at the full moon over head. Red takes off her cape and charges at the soldiers, wolfing out.

(They're doomed)

OUAT: I’ve Got No Strings

Last time on “Once”: Emma met a pregnant teenager named Ashley who wanted to keep her baby despite everyone telling her she wasn’t suited for it. Emma tells her she can, no doubt also working through some of her issues about giving up Henry. Ashley assaults Gold and he asks Emma to track her down. Along the way, Emma meets Ashley’s ex-boyfriend/baby daddy and learns his father has arranged for Gold to give the baby away. Furious, she’s even more determined to make sure Ashley gets to keep her baby. She makes a deal with Gold to ensure it happens and Ashley gets to keep her little Alexandra as she reunites with her boyfriend.

In the Enchanted Forest, Ashley is apparently Cinderella. After Rumpelstiltskin kills her fairy godmother for her wand, Ella makes a deal with him to go to the ball. She fails to read the fine print and is horrified to learn he wants her firstborn child. That’s…kinda his thing, though. Anyway, when she gets pregnant she tells her prince the truth and they work with Charming to capture Rumple. Ella tricks him into using a magical pen and in revenge, he takes away her prince.

Harsh.

We open on…a puppet show. Or rather a marionette. As a couple entertains a crowd, a redheaded child makes his way through the people and picks their pockets. No one catches him and…wait…doesn’t that look like Pinocchio? Is this when he’s running with the wrong crowd?

(I'm not crazy, right?)

OUAT: Crushing Hearts Since 2011

So, way back in 2011 I first watched Once Upon a Time. And I really, really meant to recap it since the first season. But life got in the way then and I didn’t start recapping until last year with season 3B.

My sister put me on her Netflix account (thanks KB!) and so I’ve been able to go back to watch Season 1 Once Upon a Time again. Since season 5 doesn’t start until September 27th, I’m going to recap an episode until it comes back. (Yes, I realize I probably should’ve started earlier. But oh well). Maybe I can catch up soon.

So, let’s all go back to the eh year of 2011 and recall how we started the strange yet incredible journey that is Once Upon a Time.

Way, way back in the pilot: Prince Charming awakens Snow White and they get married. The Evil Queen shows up to threaten their happily ever afters and destroy the couple. Snow becomes pregnant and as she gives birth, the Queen casts her spell. Purple clouds devour everything as Charming gets their daughter to a magical escape hatch, being fatally wounded in the process.

That daughter may or may not be Emma Swan, who on her 28th birthday is found by the son she gave up for adoption. He says he’s been adopted by the Evil Queen and he lives in a town where everyone is a fairy tale character but they don’t know it. Emma takes him home and she gets the feeling that something is wrong. Henry asks her to say, his mother (the Mayor) practically bullies Emma to leave and some guy named Gold is creepy.

As she goes to bed, the town clock that’s been broke forever starts to move.

dun dun DUN!