Nostalgia Nook: Hercules

Fun story time! My dad worked at ABC during the Disney takeover and for a few years after. In 1997, Disney celebrated its renovation of the historical New Amsterdam theater by having a special event. My dad managed to get tickets but was unable to take off to go himself. So my mother, sister, aunt, cousin and I went. Disney characters put on a little show, celebrating and dancing in the aisle. My sister, who was almost five, was a bit confused as she thought the Disney characters all lived in Disney World. My mother told her they were visiting us in New York for the party. After the party, they lowered a screen and showed us Disney’s latest movie—Hercules!

From zero to SPOILERS!


“Hercules” borrows from Greco-Roman mythology to tell a modified version of the legend of Hercules/Herakles (his Greek name). I say modified because Disney had to do a lot of scrubbing to get this tale to family-friendly levels. Like making Hades, rather than Hera, the bad guy.

We start in a museum where a narrator (Charleton Heston) starts to tell the tale of Hercules as the camera pans over Grecian vases and artwork. A group of muses on one urn take over—with Mr. Heston’s blessing—and use gospel music to tell the tale (“Gospel Truth”). How the Titans ran amok in earlier times until Zeus (Rip Torn) trapped them below the ocean floor. And now Zeus has a beautiful baby boy and he’s having a party to celebrate! We’ll ignore the fact that Zeus slept with many women throughout Greek mythology. Here, he’s loyal to wife Hera. And she’s not his sister, I guess.

At the party, Zeus’ brother Hades (James Wood) shows up. He’s not too thrilled about it, watching the other gods present the baby with gifts. Including Zeus’ gift of a pegasus. Hades’ day gets worse when he returns to the Underworld. The Fates tell him that he will get a chance to take over Mount Olympus and rule the world. But his new nephew will ruin his plans. So Hades has to kill the baby. Except in true evil overlord fashion, he sends his incompetent minions, Pain and Panic. They are able to turn Hercules mortal but he doesn’t drink all the potion, so he retains his super strength. The minions are no match for the baby and decide to make Hades think his main obstacle is dead.

Instead, he is adopted by a loving couple who are past child bearing age. They raise him but he becomes an awkward teenager. Especially since his body hasn’t caught up with his strength. His neighbors hate him because he creates destruction wherever he goes. All Hercules wants is a place where he belongs (“Go the Distance”). So he goes to visit a giant statue of Zeus. The statue comes alive and there’s a pretty funny father-son reunion. Hercules wants to go live on Mount Olympus but there’s a problem. Hercules is mortal. Only immortals can live on Mount Olympus. How does Hercules become immortal? By becoming a hero!
Piece of cake, right?

Zeus directs his son to a hero trainer named Phil (Danny Devito). But he’s out of the hero business. He’s had too many failures and has grown cynical. But Hercules convinces him to take him on and we get a training montage! Hercules (Tate Donovan) grows up and his body finally catches up to his strength. Phil decides it’s time to let him loose on society. So he takes him to Thebes, a city with a big problem. Those familiar with Greek tragedies will know why. Along the way, Hercules encounters a woman struggling with a minotaur. He offers to help, but she says she can handle it. She thanks him but Hercules decides to butt in anyway. He defeats the minotaur and meets the woman, Megara or Meg (Susan Egan).

But Meg’s working for Hades. And she has been since she sold her soul to help out her boyfriend…who promptly left her for another girl. Bummer. So she’s a bit sour on the whole “love” thing. But Hades has bigger fish to fry. Like the fact Hercules isn’t…you know…dead. Pain and Panic are in trouble but are spared as Hades has to kill Hercules.

Speaking of him, he’s arrived in Thebes. Which has definitely seen better days. The citizens are rattled and on the verge of nervous breakdowns. Hercules promises to help them, but they don’t seem to believe him. So he goes to prove himself. And Hades gives him the opportunity—pitting Hercules against the Hydra. Hercules wins! The people adore him and Hades realizes he has his work cut out for him.

But Hercules keeps on winning! There’s even a montage about it (“Zero to Hero”). Hades figures out he has to change his plans. So he sends Meg to scout things out. She sneaks into Hercules’ house just as he’s getting fed up with all the attention. None of the fame is getting him any closer to Mt. Olympus. He sends his friends away and Meg tells him to take a break with her. They spend a nice afternoon with each other as she tries to learn his weakness. And in the process, she falls for him—though she denies it (“I Won’t Say I’m In Love”). She reports to Hades that Hercules has no weakness but Hades thinks he does. And he has a plan.

The plan? To have Hercules exchange his powers for Meg’s freedom. Hercules agrees, though he gets the powers back if Meg gets hurt. It almost gets railroaded when Phil discovers Meg is working for Hades. But Hercules refuses to believe him and Phil leaves him. But then Hades reveals that Meg was working for him. Womp womp. So Hercules spends most of his time with Meg sulking. Hades, meanwhile, releases the Titans and begins his assault on Mt. Olympus.

What are the gods doing? Partying! So the Titans catch them off guard. And take them down pretty easily. Whimps. Anyway, Hercules can only watch as Greece falls into utter chaos. There isn’t much he can do as he doesn’t have his strength. But he’s going to try anyway! He gets knocked around like a piñata and Meg feels guilty. She gets Pegasus, who never really trusted her, and flies him to get Phil. He’s, of course, not very inclined to listen to her but Meg convinces him that Hercules is in big trouble. Phil goes and gives Hercules a pep talk and Hercules starts to find creative ways to fight the Cyclops. He wins.

But he doesn’t see a pillar threatening to fall on top of him. Meg does and pushes him out of the way. She is caught under the pillar and Hercules’ strength returns as his pact with Hades is broken. He rescues Meg but she tells him to go save the gods. Phil promises to stay with her. Hercules flies away on Pegasus and frees the other gods! Zeus is able to join in the fight and Hades retreats to the Underworld. But he’s taking a consolation prize—Meg’s soul.

So Hercules storms the Underworld, using Cerebus to do so. He makes a deal with Hades—he will dive into the river of souls to try and reach Meg. Hades agrees, knowing Hercules will never make it. He grows older and older as he gets closer and closer. The Fates prepare to cut his strand, ending his life. But it turns golden and they can’t cut it. For Hercules has become a god! Hades is stunned and tries to kiss up to Hercules. Nephew knocks his uncle into the river of souls, where they start to fight him and pull him down with him. Pain and Panic watch and pray he never gets out.

Hercules returns Meg’s soul to her body and she lives! Before they can kiss, Zeus and Hera bring their son home for a reunion. He can live on Mt. Olympus again! Because being a hero doesn’t mean performing acts of feat but acts of love. Aww. It is a Disney movie, what did you expect? But wait! There’s more mush to come! Because Hercules asks to become mortal again so he can stay on Earth with Meg. His parents grant them and happy ending all around! (“A Star is Born”)

And that is Hercules! It’s a fun romp that plays fast and loose with Greek mythology. But are we expecting more from Disney? I’d wager not. It’s entertaining and the songs are hummable. Go ahead. Give it a watch and enjoy.

Next month: Clueless