Nostalgia Nook: Faery Tale Theater

Confession time! Part deux! I think I’ve done more confession here than at my church. Anyway, have you ever gone to the website That Guy With the Glasses? If not, click the link and check it out! Two main presenters are the Nostalgia Critic and his distaff counterpart, the Nostalgia Chick. They review and rip apart TV shows and movies of our youth. While I don’t want to step on their toes, I have my own nostalgic things that I do not think they will cover. So, once a month, I will do my own nostalgic review. Look for it on the fifth of each month!

SPOILERS abound if you’ve never heard of these fairy tales!

It is the 1980s and actress Shelley Duvall (The Shining) is filming “Pop-Eye” with Robin Williams. She has this idea to film the fairy tale “The Frog Prince” for children. Williams encourages her and so she creates “Faery Tale Theater” for Showtime. And the first episode is “The Frog Prince,” starring Robin Williams and Teri Garr. From that point on, other fairy tales were performed with all star casts that are quite amazing.

I first saw these on the Disney Channel and have found them online. God bless YouTube!

The Frog Prince (Season 1): Starring Teri Garr (The Princess), Robin Williams (The Frog Prince), Michael Richards (The King), and Eric Idle (Narrator). Once upon a time, a king and queen wished for a child. They went to a witch, who gave them a potion to do just that. All she asked in return was to be godmother and get invited to the christening. In time, the queen gave birth to a son. Unfortunately, she was a bit forgetful and forgot to invite the witch to the christening. The king tries to stall to fix his wife’s mistake, but the witch finds out. She curses the prince.

Years later, the king and queen have had another son and are trying to arrange a marriage between him and the bitchy princess of a neighboring kingdom. She refuses to marry him because he is too busy fighting dragons and because he is only a prince. She won’t settle for anything less than being queen. Did I mention she was a moron as well? She does realize that most princes become kings, right? Anyway, she gets a giant golden ball as a gift and treasures it because she can admire herself.
One day, she is playing with the ball by a well. A frog disturbs her and she drops her ball. She isn’t shocked by the thought of a talking frog—especially with the idea of fairy godmothers and dragons. They insult each other for some time before the frog offers to go get the ball for her. Of course, he won’t do this for free. The princess offers him jewels and riches, but he has no use for them. He wants to eat at the palace as her guest. He also wants to sleep in her room on a pillow. The princess agrees but decides to renege on the promise once she is inside the castle.

But the Frog reminds her of her promise and the King finally puts his foot down, forcing his daughter to honor it. The Frog is allowed into the palace but gets detoured into the kitchens by a French chef who mistakes the Frog as the main dish. He is saved and brought to the table, where he is the life of the party. She then takes him to her room, much to the princess’ horror and disgust. But during the night, the frog saves her from a scorpion. Filled with gratitude, she kisses the frog—transforming him into a prince. The king comes in and arrests the prince for being in his daughter’s chamber and sends the princess to boarding school for (supposedly) killing the prince. But the snubbed fairy from beginning appears to the king and sets everything right. The princess and the former frog marry…

And they all lived happily ever after.

The first thing to note is that Idle was not only the narrator, he was also the writer and director of this episode. And he tells the story with the usual Python humor. And it’s genius. He gives fairy tales the same treatment the Arthurian legends got. And I think some of the script just read “Robin Williams does his standup act.” All in all, it was a good episode. My only complaint is that they made the princess too annoying. It was hard to root for her or be happy that she ended up with the Frog Prince in the end.

Rapunzel (Season 2): Starring Shelley Duvall (Marie/Rapunzel), Jeff Bridges (Claude/Henry), and Gena Rowlands (The Witch). In this story, Shelley Duvall has a strange craving for rapunzel, a type of radish, during her pregnancy. When Jeff Bridges is caught raiding the witch’s garden, she makes him promise to give her the baby. She comes to collect and takes the baby far away. The baby, named Rapunzel, grows up to be Shelley Duvall. But she is lonely and longs for company. Namely of the male type. Instead, the witch gives her a bird and tells her that men are evil creatures who will steal what is most precious to her.

Getting crap past the radar?

Anyway, it turns out Jeff Bridges is lost in the woods. And he’s a man! He convinces Rapunzel to let him come up and they are instantly in love. He wants to take her away, but there’s no way out of the tower. He suggests they cut her hair, but it is what she treasures the most. He calms her and decides to bring her silk for her to braid into a rope. Unfortunately, the Witch finds out about the rope and the man. She cuts Rapunzel’s hair and banishes her to some desert. She then goes back and blinds the Prince Henry. But he manages to get to the desert to find Rapunzel, who has given birth to his twin children.

And they all lived happily ever after. Except the Witch.

This was the first one I found on YouTube. And I mostly watched it to see a young Jeff Bridges. I saw “Tron: Legacy” this past December and wanted to see how good Disney’s technology was. And I feel silly for having doubted it. The costumes were very good as was the acting. As for some of the effects…I’m sure they looked amazing back in the 80’s. Except the special effect of the prince becoming blind. I’m sure that looked silly back then as well.

Sleeping Beauty (Season 2): Starring Bernadette Peters (Sleeping Beauty/Princess Debbie), Christopher Reeve (The Prince), Carol Kane (The Good Fairy), Beverly D’Angelo (Henbane) and George Dzundza (The Woodsman). The woodsman tells a prince and his squire (Ron Rifkin) about the princess in the town next to the forest. When the princess was born, her parents invited all the fairies in the land to her christening. They then bestowed their gifts on her, turning her into a Mary Sue. Henbane shows up, surprising everyone—they thought she was dead. She isn’t pleased to be snubbed, so she curses the princess. She will prick her finger on a spindle and die. But the Good Fairy manages to change the spell so that the princess will only sleep.

The prince tells the woodsman that he’s been traveling, trying to find the princess to be the Mary Sue to his Gary Stu. He thought he found her in Princess Debbie, but she merely tricked him in what is a hilarious seduction scene. Now, though, he is interested in the princess in yonder castle. So the Woodsman explains that the king and queen were anxious to marry Sleeping Beauty and get her out of the kingdom—the spell wouldn’t last past the borders. But when she finds out the prince she is to marry is a cowardly jerk, she runs away…and into Henbane’s trap.

The Good Fairy and Henbane try to outdo each other. One puts everyone to sleep, another places thorns outside the palace and turns herself into a fire-breathing giant. And Christopher Reeve is going to fight her! He buys the Woodsman’s ax and hacks his way through the thorns. He manages to defeat the giant and find the sleeping princess. He kisses her and the Gary Stu finds his Mary Sue.

And they all lived happily ever after. Except the Woodsman, who never got his ax back.

All fairy tales give way to the Mary Sue. It’s up to the writers to make these stock characters more dimensional. And this one doesn’t do it. The best characters are the Woodsman and the Good Fairy. Bernadette Peters does manage to save the episode a few times. First, as the selfish Princess Debbie and then by performing a lovely song as Sleeping Beauty.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (Season 3): Starring Elizabeth McGovern (Snow White), Vanessa Redgrave (Evil Queen), Vincent Price (Magic Mirror) and Rex Smith (The Prince). Once upon a time, Shelley Duvall wished for a child with skin as white as snow, hair as black as night and lips red as the rose. And lo, she gets her daughter! But since this is a fairy tale, mom soon dies. Dad remarries a woman whose only concern is her appearance. She even has a magic mirror that tells her she’s beautiful! In rhyme! One day, Snow White comes to show her Stepmother her new skill. Upset, the queen throws her out. To make matters worse, the mirror then proclaims Snow White is the most beautiful in the land.

Enraged, the Queen orders the Huntsman to kill Snow White and to bring back her heart. But the Huntsman cannot go through with it after watching Snow White pray. He tells her the truth and warns her to never return to the palace. So Snow White runs into the woods and comes across a cottage full of small furniture. She tries some of the dinner laid out, but it is all cold. Tired, she passes out in a tiny bed.

In the meantime, the seven dwarves come home. They notice someone’s been eating their dinner. The dwarves, probably familiar with those three bears, go to check the beds. And there’s Snow White. They let her sleep, though the dwarf whose bed she is on has to sleep in his chair. Snow White wakes up and comes across this dwarf, named Bubba. He takes instantly to Snow White and the other dwarves agree to keep Snow White around—for the hot food.

But the Queen discovers that Snow White lives. So, she runs to the dwarves cottage pretending to be a peddler. She lets Snow White pick out a ribbon and then chokes her with it. The Queen runs off to enjoy her place as “fairest in the land.” But the dwarves come home and save her, warning her against talking to strangers. But the next day, upon learning that Snow White lives, the Queen poisons an apple and uglies herself up. She flirts with a singing prince who is friendly with the dwarves before remembering she is ugly. Snow White falls for her tricks and dies.

The dwarves build a casket for her and decide to place her on a hill. As they carry the casket through the forest, the prince discovers Snow White. He kisses her and they immediately agree to be married. The dwarves get to visit them and the prince has his magician cast a spell on the evil queen. Every time she looked in a mirror, it would turn dark—she could never gave upon her beauty again.
And they all lived happily ever after, except the Evil Queen.

The story may have cut out another one of the Evil Queen’s attempts to kill Snow White, but it is closer to the original story than the Disney version. Redgrave was overacting as the Evil Queen, but that worked in her favor. The only complaint I have is McGovern’s acting. She hardly put any emotion into her performance—particularly in the scenes with the huntsman and the prince. When the prince asks her to marry him, McGovern delivers Snow White’s acceptance flatly.

Cinderella (Season 4): Starring Jennifer Beale (Cinderella), Eve Arden (Stepmother), Jean Stapleton (Fairy Godmother) and Matthew Broderick (Prince Henry). Cinderella’s father marries the principal of Rydell High,  who has two children but unfortunately dies. When the stepmother divides up the chores, Cinderella gets them all. Her stepmother later admits that it is punishment for being so beautiful. One day, a messenger arrives to announce that there will be a ball for Prince Henry. The Stepmother and stepsisters go, leaving Cinderella behind.

As the young girl cries by the fire, Edith Bunker shows up! She’s Cinderella’s fairy godmother and she is able to send Cinderella to the ball. Once there, everyone assumes she is a princess—including Ferris Bueller. The two dance the night away, though Cinderella has to return home by midnight. She leaves the prince in tizzy and he decides to throw another ball in order to lure her out. It works and the two dance and talk until midnight again. As Cinderella leaves, she loses one of her glass slippers.

So Ferris goes in search of the maiden who fits the glass slipper. He tries it on the feet of every woman in the kingdom. Finally, he comes to the principal’s house. Neither of her daughters fit the shoes, all though they try. Cinderella asks to try it but the others laugh. When questioned by Ferris, the principal replies that Cinderella is a nobody. This doesn’t sit well with the prince, who tries the shoe on Cinderella. It fits and she pulls the other shoe from her pocket.

And they all live happily ever after, except for the stepmother and stepsisters, who spent several hours as rabbits courtesy of Edith Bunker.

This was one of my favorite episodes so far. It was well acted and well-written. The script even calls for Cinderella to ask her fairy godmother why she never showed up when her stepsisters were cruel to her. All in all, a solid episode.

The Little Mermaid (Season 6): Starring Pam Dawber (Pearl), Treat Williams (Prince Andrew), Helen Mirren (Princess Amelia), Laraine Newman and Donna McKenchie (Pearl’s sisters), Karen Black (Sea Witch) and Brian Dennehy (Neptune). On her birthday, Pearl is allowed to visit the surface. When she does, she rescues the prince, Andrew, who has fallen overboard. She brings him to shore, but must leave him to keep a promise to her father. Andrew is found by another princess, Amelia, who lives in a palace near the beach.

Neptune realizes his daughter has fallen in love and tells her to put the prince from her mind. She refuses and visits the Sea Witch to get her help. The Sea Witch repeats Neptune’s advice but Pearl pleads with her. The Sea Witch gives her a potion that will give her human legs, but will take her voice. And she can never return to the sea—if the prince does not return her love and marries another, Pearl will turn into sea foam. Pearl still agrees and becomes human, winding up in the care of Amelia and Andrew.

The two grow to love Pearl like a like sister. Pearl loves Andrew but he proposes to Amelia. When Amelia clues Andrew in about Pearl’s true feelings, he lets her down gently. She even witnesses their wedding onboard a ship. That night, Pearl prepares to be sea foam when her sisters come to her. They gave up their hair to get a magical knife in return. If Pearl kills Andrew and lets his blood hit her legs, she will become a mermaid again. But Pearl cannot kill Andrew and as such, she doesn’t become sea foam—she becomes a spirit of the air, watching over Andrew and Amelia.

So, they all kinda live happily ever after.

This episode came out in 1987, two years before Disney would release their version of the Hans Christian Andersen classic. Many purists cried foul over how Disney changed the ending so the Little Mermaid got her Prince. This even changes the ending a bit, to my understanding. The Little Mermaid does become sea foam and discovers the joy of living as one with the ocean. I do like this ending—with the Little Mermaid becoming a guardian angel of sorts. I also liked how the writer wrote the Sea Witch to not be outright evil, but in a gray area. She warns away the Little Mermaid, tries to change her mind but is bound to help the Little Mermaid because she asked. I quite enjoyed the chemistry between Williams and Mirren—it made you realize that the Little Mermaid had no chance.

Does Faerie Tale Theater hold up? I’d say so. In fact, it might be better to watch as an adult than as a child. The scripts were written for an older audience, but would go over children’s heads. I highly suggest looking them up. Besides these episodes, I also suggest watching the following:

Beauty and the Beast (featuring Susan Sarandon)
The Princess and the Pea (featuring Liza Minnelli)
The Snow Queen (featuring Melissa Gilbert)

Next time on Nostalgia Nook: Polly Pockets!