Beauties and the Prince

Last week: Alasia was late. Again. The girls walked a runway at a drag show. They modeled hair. And then they got to go to New Zealand. Except Anslee, who was sent home.

NEW YORK! The remaining six girls celebrate going to New Zealand while Alexandra talks about being in the bottom two. She says she deserved it but feels New Zealand will be a new beginning. Krista and Angelea celebrate being in first class to New Zealand. Krista goes home to admire her photograph while the others start packing.

The girls leave their apartment. Angelea and Krista live it up in first class.

NEW ZEALAND! Jessica needs a map—she thought New Zealand was north of Canada. Jessica enjoys going somewhere new while Krista enjoys being in New Zealand.

They meet some locals, doing a…war chant? Are they going to sacrifice the models? Please? Ms. J shows up to welcome them to Auckland. He explains the Maori performance we just saw. One of New Zealand’s Next Top Model’s judges explains it was about New Zealand’s history. So…no sacrificing then? Bummer. Ms. J tells the girls there are cabs and portfolios waiting for them. It’s time for go-sees. Good luck, Auckland!

Raina passes Alexandra and Alexandra leaves. Seventy-seven names welcomes Raina. They liked her for campaigns, not runways. Alasia finds Emma Ford. They like her portfolio. Alexandra and Krista wait as Alasia impresses them. Angelea worries about her hair. She impressed Kate Sylvester. Raina runs in to Jessica, who was waiting. She meets Cybele. She was unsure on Jessica. Kate Sylvester liked Krista. Alexandra was a bit casual for Stolen Girlfriends Club. Twenty-seven names liked Angelea. Krista is stuck in traffic.

Bianca and Laura talk about going straight from the plane to go-sees. They are scared.

AUCKLAND! Krista finally makes it to Emma Ford, who is impressed with her portfolio. Raina arrives next, watching Krista. They didn’t like Raina’s body or personality. Angelea is confused by the weather. Angelea impresses another go-see. Alexandra’s outfit turns off designers. Alasia arrives at Anna Stretton. Krista doesn’t like Alasia’s walk. Jessica impresses at a go-see. She makes the smart decision to go back to the agency so as not to be late. Emma Ford loved Angelea as well and she heads to the agency as does Raina. Krista worries about making it. Angelea joins Jessica. Alexandra arrives next. Raina decides to walk but no one knows where the building is. Alasia forgot her map at Twenth-seven. Jessica, Angelea and Alexandra celebrate that they were safe. Krista arrives three minutes late. Raina follows Krista, soaking wet. Alasia knows she’s late. The other girls aren’t surprised.

The New Zealand judge introduces Sarah Tetro, a top modeling agent and the host of New Zealand’s Next Top Model. Sarah tells Alasia, Krista and Raina they were late and are disqualified. But Krista, as first place photo, will still get outfits from the designers. They leave. Jessica booked 1 of 4 go-sees. She was too commercial. Alexandra didn’t book others. Angelea booked all her go-sees and won the challenge. They are sent to their new house. They love their new house. Krista and Angelea admire their prizes.

Everyone goes to sleep.

MORNING! The girls continue to enjoy their pent house. They go to see the ocean and find a beautiful rainbow outside their penthouse.

TYRA MAIL! The girls think it has something to do with sheep.

Oh look, sheep. Mr. Jay shows up with Nigel. He points out the sheep. He tells the girls they have to stand out. They will be wearing the same dress and stand out. With sheep in the picture. Krista is not thrilled. The girls go to hair and makeup. Alexandra tells Mr. Jay she’s here to stay.

And she starts us. She wows Nigel and Mr. Jay. Mr. Jay tells her to keep her found spark. Jessica is next and falls down the hill. She says she isn’t feeling it and trying to work the dress. Nigel thinks she looks confused. Nigel doesn’t believe Alasia wasn’t really thinking about the scenery. She doesn’t impress Nigel. She’s one-note. Raina follows and Nigel loves her. Mr. Jay loved what she brought to set. Angelea asks if she can sit on the sheep and gets a resounding: NO! Mr. Jay tells her to stop thinking about the dress. Nigel didn’t get Angelea. She cries after that she doesn’t want to home. Nigel tries to get Krista comfortable with the sheep. But she rocks it.

That’s a wrap!

Skull and Crossbones. Still no gangplank? Aww. Jessica isn’t so confident in her shots. Alasia and Angelea are nervous as well.

PANEL! Oh lord, Tyra didn’t leave the body suits at home. Anyway, there are prizes, there are judges and Sarah Tetro is the guest judge. Raina is up first and reveals the sheep’s name was Prince. They love her picture. Nigel praises how she was on set. Tyra calls it a fairy-tale. Alasia is next. Nigel tells her that shooting her wasn’t inspirational. Andre is more intrigued by Prince. Sarah compliments Nigel and not Alasia. Alexandra is third and Tyra likes her runway walk. Andre loves that she worked with Prince. Nigel praises her as does Sarah. Jessica follows. Nigel likes her body language but says her face and eyes are lacking. Andre thinks the wind saved her. Sarah doesn’t like it. Tyra shows her tricks to be less commercial. The judges love Krista’s outfit. Nigel calls her magical and Sarah loves the shot. Tyra calls it a “Tornado of Loveliness.” Angelea is last and gets applause for being the challenge winner. But Andre doesn’t like her dress. Tyra tells her it is a club dress and she sucks up some airtime. Nigel tells her she didn’t try as hard as she could’ve. Sarah says this photo worries her after Angelea’s go-see win.

The judges deliberate. They love Raina. Nigel was disappointed in Alasia. Jessica gets the “boring” comment. Krista gets a “bam.” Nigel was also disappointed in Angelea and they are confused by her club walk. Sarah says she’s traumatized. ELIMINATION! The first girl safe is Krista. She is praised for getting it two weeks in a row. She is followed by Alexandra, Raina, and Angelea. She tells Angelea not to be dejected or self-pity. Tyra tells her to hold her head up high. Jessica and Alasia land in the bottom two. Alasia: Lacks focus but has so much potential. Alasia’s mind isn’t on set. Jessica: Pretty girl who can takes a good photo but can also take some middling ones. Strong commercial. So who stays? Jessica. Tyra tells her to pull out some edge and Jessica promises to practice. Tyra hugs Alasia. She tells her she is beautiful but needs to focus. Alasia hugs everyone and then leaves.

She packs to go home. She reminds us she was an amateur and is happy with how far she made it.

America’s Next Top Model:

Alasia

Alexandra

Angelea

Anslee

Brenda

Gabrielle

Jessica

Krista

Naduah

Raina

Ren

Simone

Tatianna

So, Alasia finally went home. Andre’s love affair with her ended. I think anyone of them has the potential to win, but I would love for a Raina-Angelea walk off. That would be the best final two combination of the season.

Next week: Angelea and Krista’s friendship loses steam. And Tyra is their photograph.

Quote of the Episode:

“I want her to be my muse. But she was not. She wasn’t even amusing.” –Nigel about Alasia.

Give Me a Head With Hair…

Last week on Top Model: It was Angelea, Krista, and Alasia vs. Anslee, Brenda, Jessica and Raina. Alexandra just existed. Jessica impressed Tinsley Mortimer but Angelea impressed the judges with her photo. In the end, it came down to Alasia and Brenda with Brenda being sent home. Eight girls remain, who would walk the plank off an East River crossing if I had my way tonight?

Wanna be on top?

NEW YORK! The girls go home. Angelea runs to see her picture and celebrate that Brenda’s gone. She dances around with Krista. Krista wants a first picture of her own. Meanwhile, Alexandra talks to Angelea and Krista, saying she feels she isn’t in the same category. She gets no sympathy from Angelea and Krista. Raina misses Brenda, who she became close to. She prays that Jessica doesn’t go home or else she’ll have nobody. Jessica is nice to Alasia about being selected over Brenda.

Meanwhile, Anslee says that she has a hard time getting a read on Alexandra, but it seems she’s deflating. But Anslee doesn’t care about that as she reminds us that she’s a mom. We know.

Fortunately, Pat Cleveland comes in to break this up. She introduces Whitney Port from “The City.” Raina is ready to explode from glee. Whitney is giving them clothes and taking them out while Pat gets one on one time with the girls. Krista says she loves big and bold. Jessica says she feels like royalty, elegant and classy. Pat says that Alexandra is a bird ready to take off and Alexandra is surprised. She thinks she has to think the same.

NEW YORK! The girls hit the town and go to a drag bar. Jessica is clearly frightened. Oh, honey has probably never seen a drag queen before. Don’t worry, they’re nice. She introduces Tyra Banks and sadly, they didn’t bring Sutan to re-do his Tyra. “Tyra” says she has four photos in her hand and one fierce performance. Go “Tyra”! The emcee introduces Ms. J and it’s…actually Ms. J. S/he says they are at a challenge. A runway challenge with personality. Alexandra is nervous considering the fall she took off the last runway. She hopes she survives.

NEW YORK! The drag queens get to pick their favorite. Angelea goes first. Jessica goes next. Alasia follows her and gives diva. Alexandra follows that and Jessica says she gave horse stomp. Raina gets “sizzle” from Ms. J. Krista sashays and does the slow turn. Jessica does praise Krista’s walk. Anslee doesn’t get a good review. Angelea says it had no personality. The crowd applauds Whitney Port. Now, the audience votes. Alasia: Major. Angelea: Major. Anslee: Nothing. Jessica: Major. Raina: Major. Alexandra: Dreck. Krista: Fierce. The winner is KRISTA! Alexandra says she feels bad. Hey, Alexandra, at least you got applause. Krista gets a tiara and wins pieces from Whitney’s collection as does Angelea as first photo. Krista says that she has a challenge win and now she needed a first picture. Then the top prize.

In the kitchen, Anslee and Angelea talk. Anslee praises Krista but didn’t like Jessica’s walk. Angelea admits that Jessica’s walk was cute. Anslee says it isn’t her and that her walk was her.

TYRA MAIL! “Tomorrow could be a hairy situation. Don’t get tangled.” Uhh?

Alasia is still delaying everyone. Raina tells her she has four minutes. The gang is all ready and leaves without her at 7:55. Alasia goes and keeps pressing the down button as the girls leave the building. The elevator doesn’t come. How much do you bet that there’s a producer holding the “door open” button down on the first floor? Alasia flips out because she knows that the model who misses a photoshoot goes home. Except Fatima but just because she was stronger than the other girl anyway.

Top Model lounge! Bianca reminds us that Alasia is consistently late. Laura points out that you can’t be late in the modeling world or in the real world. Bianca asks Laura if she would’ve waited for Alasia. The answer is no.

Alasia decides to take the stairs. She talks the entire way down and says that no one told her about leaving. Yes, they did. She makes the limo and apologizes. Someone calls her an idiot and surprisingly, Alasia holds her tongue.

They make it to the shoot and Mr. Jay introduces them to Jerry, their photographer. He says they will be wearing outfits made entirely of hair and be divided into teams. They will have to support their teammate. They have to remain focused. Weaven Steven and a partner will be doing their hair and wardrobe. Alasia wants to know whose hair they will be modeling. Weaven Steven has Raina, Anslee, Krista and Angelea. Derek J has Alasia, Jessica, and Alexandra. The girls are in their hair dresses. Jessica goes first as the other team heckles her. Mr. Jay reminds her to be elegant. Angelea goes next. Jerry tells her big moves. Mr. Jay tells her to bring fashion back to the shoot. Raina follows. And then Anslee. She says she’ll listen to Mr. Jay but still do what she wants. What? Mr. Jay tells her not to oversell the arm piece. The other team just yells “dreckitude.”

Krista is still after her first picture call. Either she’s going to get it or go home. Mr. Jay likes Krista’s shots. Alasia follows that as Team Weaven Steven boos. Mr. Jay tells her to watch her facial expressions. He says she recycled shots and looked lost. Alexandra is last and confuses Mr. Jay. Seriously, I want a screencap of Mr. Jay’s expression there. Raina says that Alexandra is breaking down. Mr. Jay calls her a fish out of water.

That’s a wrap!

Back at the loft we get skull and crossbones. Hey, we’ll have the final six. You know what that means—time to go abroad! Woo! Anslee is nervous but Krista is confident. Krista does Alexandra’s nails and isn’t sure what’s wrong with Alexandra.

PANEL! There are prizes. There are judges. And the guest judge is Whitney Port. The entire panel is tired. So they decide to nap, complete with giant pillows. They can’t get comfortable. Some guy comes out and offers to let them count his sheep. Andre catches a Z, as does the rest of the panel. Tyra has some trouble and then pulls down a sign that reads “New Zealand.” That’s the abroad destination but only for six girls. Jessica is first. Andre likes her feet and Tyra calls her one to watch. Krista is applauded for being the winner. Tyra praises Krista’s simple outfit. Whitney loves her proportions and calls her face strong. Tyra enjoyed going through her film. Anslee is next. Nigel says her face is strength while Whitney says she looks stiff. Tyra says she doesn’t take enough risks. Alasia follows. Andre likes her feet positioning. Tyra calls her out for being repetitive and not taking chances. Alexandra is next. Nigel isn’t impressed. Andre calls her awkward but the panel loves her face. Next is Angelea. Whitney says she owns the outfit and is vibrant. Andre says she exudes grace. Tyra likes she took risks. Raina finishes this. Nigel likes the contrast between her pale skin and dark hair. Whitney and Andre love her pose.

The judges deliberate. Nigel thinks Jessica has something. Krista has come a long way and Tyra loves her bone structure. Whitney didn’t like Anslee. Andre is still Alasia’s number one fan. Tyra loves Alexandra’s face. Angelea challenges Andre. Whitney loves Raina’s eyes. She gets a vote of “no dreckitude.” ELIMINATION! The first picture winner will get to fly first class to New Zealand. The winner is Krista. She got her wish! She is followed by Angelea, Raina, Jessica, and Alasia. That leaves Anslee and Alexandra in the final two. Anslee: Has a stunning face but might just be a beauty model. She has difficulty modeling H2T. Alexandra: Takes pretty decent picture and then gets an amazing picture. But the judges are feeling a lack of desire. So who gets to go to New Zealand? Alexandra. Tyra tells her to step it up and show them the passion. Tyra hugs Anslee and tells her she loves her face. Tyra tells her to practice so her body is as strong as her face. Anslee hugs Krista and then Jessica before leaving.

Tyra reminds Krista she gets to fly first class and is allowed to bring a friend to fly with her. She chooses Angelea.

Anslee goes back to the loft and packs up. She’s disappointed she can’t go to New Zealand but she’s happy to go home to her daughter. She feels she accomplished something.

America’s Next Top Model:

Alasia

Alexandra

Angelea

Anslee

Brenda

Gabrielle

Jessica

Krista

Naduah

Raina

Ren

Simone

Tatianna

Next week: The girls go to New Zealand and go straight to go sees. Nigel takes their pictures with sheep.

Krista was on her game this week. It was nice to see everyone sort of getting along after last week’s shouting match. But Alasia is going to have to learn how to be punctual.

Moment of the Episode:

Poor Jessica’s face when she realizes she’s surrounded by drag queens.

Our House, In the Middle of The Street…

Oh look, Jennifer Lopez and her newest leading man, Alex O’Loughlin.

Future!Ted tells his kids he is going to reveal the moment he made a decision that would change his life forever. It starts with a visit from Mommy Dearest and her boyfriend, Clint. Who tells Ted how erotic his mother is. Eww. Clint goes on about being born and being nursed as sexual. Mommy Dearest can’t believe she’s with him—that he picked her. Ted’s happy she’s happy. Clint says they have an announcement. They hug him and Cliff calls Ted “Son.”

CREDITS!

At MacLaren’s, Future!Ted says that his own mother had lapped him—getting married for a second time before he was married once. He’s so happy—so happy he’s chugging his celebratory beer. But he figures the wedding might be the place he meets his future wife. Cut to Ted dancing with an older lady talking about the merits of proper preservation. The gang congratulates Mommy Dearest. Clint gives Ted a very erotic painting of Mommy Dearest and Clint riding a horse. Naked. With a guitar. Actually, without a guitar. That’s just conveniently placed. Meanwhile, Clint sings a song to Mommy Dearest about her—an erotic one. Ted zones out while Robin cries. Barney has to tell the gang. And then goes to tell “Aunt Meredith.” Ted gets bombarded by “When’s your wedding?” before Barney runs after Ted’s sister Heather. Oh, no Erin Cahill? Ted leaves.

And isn’t spotted for the next 72 hours. The gang is concerned. Robin says Mommy Dearest keeps calling. Barney comes back and says there is no pretzels. So he brings back a stack of napkins because he knows how emotional Robin can get. She’s like “Ha, ha. So I got emotional.” That’s when Ted enters MacLaren’s and invites the guys on a trip. As they sit in the car, Marshall asks if Ted will let someone who isn’t have a maniac episode drive the car. Lily agrees. I currently have the episode paused (since I had to DVR it) and the smirk on Neil Patrick Harris’ face is great. Lily wants to know where they are going.

Ted tells them that he left the wedding, went back to his hotel room and went to one of his favorite websites. The gang immediately assumes the worse because The Internet is for Porn (as per Avenue Q) and Ted’s like “Not that!” It is his favorite real estate auction site. Ted bought his dream house. And it’s a complete wreck. Complete with rats!

J. Lo and Alex introduce a clip of their new movie. And it’s more of blip. As they figure out the problem, they throw it back to HIMYM!

Lily wants to know what Ted meant. Ted explains he put down a bid, won and signed the paperwork. Ted thinks this room would be dad’s study, kids can come in but no toys. Lily says that it’ll take years and a small fortune to make the house livable. Ted says he’s an architect and can do it. He’ll be finished in time for him and the Missus to move in. The gang all look around like they expect one of his Random Skanks to pop out. Ted says that he may not have found Mrs. Moseby yet, but he will. The gang argues that it is the stupidest thing any of them has ever done.

Marshall leaps to his friend’s defense and says they’ve all done some stupid things. He says he remembers a time he dropped some bottle rockets in the toilet and then decided to dry them off in the microwave. Robin wonders how drunk he had to be while Barney argues that he had to be a child. Marshall makes up a new game: Drunk or kid. He takes a vote, gets a drumroll and reveals he was drunk. Lily and Robin high five while Barney says he’s glad Robin won so she wouldn’t cry. He mentions she cried at Clint’s song. But Robin gives up and reveals that it was Barney. He pays her $500 to say it was her that cried. And then he told them it was Robin. The inspector comes in and the gang is surprised he’s getting it down now. Marshall reminds them he once tried to ride a bike a ladder down a two-story house. Drunk or kid? He was a kid! Mom thought he was dead—but he was just in a coma.

Ted then brings them out to his deck, where he will barbecue every Sunday. He bought his house and it’s not a mistake. Marshall agrees. He drove his brother’s car the wrong way down I-94. Drunk or Kid? He was a kid. The women are winning. The inspector says Ted has a leak and a pond in a basement drowning the rats. The others are heading their way. Lily says that he should’ve found the problems before he bought. Ted says that Marshall knew Lily was The One from their freshmen year. What if someone had been there to make him second guess that? We get a cut scene of the inspector going over all of Lily’s flaws.

Lily and Marshall agree it was a good thing before Barney bursts out that Robin was the one who cried at Clint’s song. He says that ten minutes prior, Robin asked him to take the wrap because she couldn’t stand the jokes anymore. He agrees. Robin wonders why they broke up, she praises him and the gang knows he’s lying. The inspector comes back and has a whole litany of things wrong with the house, including a hobo, with just the first floor. He advises Ted not to buy it and that they leave. Ted asks “What if I already bought this son of a bitch?” The inspector goes upstairs and laughs.

The gang encouraged Ted to give it up but he says he can envision what the house can be. And then the inspector falls through the ceiling.

Paramedics wheel the inspector out while Lily adds the new hole to his report. Ted finally agrees that it’s bad. It’s just everyone moved on. Lily and Marshall got their own place. Robin is getting serious with Don. Barney got a new tie. And is glad he noticed. Ted’s in the same place he was five years ago and is sick of it. So is the audience, Ted, so is the audience. He wants the life that the house represents. The gang understands. Barney says everyone makes mistakes, like Mommy Dearest. Barney says he’s always been fond of Mommy Dearest—does he want to bang the entire Moseby female population? Ted seems to know where this is going. But Barney continues that he Mommy Dearest had a moment in 2006 BC—Before Clint. Barney wanted to be Ted’s step-father. That’s why he cried at Clint’s song, because he got Mommy Dearest.

We cut to Barney and Mommy Dearest in a car. Wait, when did Barney get his license? They enjoy a song and share a kiss. Then she compliments it and the gang knows he’s lying. But Barney says everything before that point is true. Mommy Dearest is a cougar. But Robin thought cougars couldn’t be over 50. So Barney amends her to Mellencamp. Ted wonders what to do with his mistake. Lily tells him to take a sledgehammer to it. And the entire gang does before toasting Ted. He then leaves and Future!Ted says his friends didn’t see him for another 72 hours. They realize he was their ride.

Ted ends up on Clint and Mommy Dearest’s doorstep to apologize for running off. He gives them his toast. Mommy Dearest thanks Ted, though she’s so baked she doesn’t know if he’s really there. She and Clint hug Ted and Clint releases the puff he’s been holding in. Future!Ted says that marrying Clint was the best decision their grandmother ever made. And he learned that the best decisions are not the expected or logical ones.

Ted returns to his house and finds Marshall there, grilling. Marshall reveals that Robin told him where Ted would be. Marshall says he knows Ted will keep the house as his heart is both drunk and a kid. Ted explains his vision for the house as Future!Ted reveals time is magical. That a stupid decision can be turned into something else. As this goes on, we see the wall get patched up, redone, the room furnished as Future!Ted reveals as the children appear that that house is their house.

Tag: None. Aww.

That was pretty good. It developed Ted without making him seem like a douche like most Ted-centric episodes seem too.

Exchange of the Episode:

“And was the Blair Witch easy to bargain with or did she haggle over the house?”

“Don’t even joke about that, man.” –Barney and Marshall about Ted’s house.

Breaking Out is Hard to Do

The show starts with a bus pulling into a prison. A priest talks to an inmate in an orange suit. Hawkes arrives—the inmate has requested that Hawkes be a witness to his execution. Hawkes talks with the inmate, Reggie. He tells Hawkes he has “her” eyes. Hawkes is confused. Reggie just wanted him to be there. Hawkes is still confused. Reggie gets shackled as they let him out. Hawkes asks what Reggie wanted to tell him. Reggie tells him he killed Hawkes’ sister—Maya.

They strap Reggie down. They prepare him for the lethal injection. Hawkes watches. It hits seven o’clock and the warden gives the nod. The cops watching start to exhibit some strange symptoms. The first shot is given. One cop goes down and the other tries to help. Hawkes runs in. Blood is leaking from the cop’s mouth. Hawkes begins CPR but then calls it. They escort Reggie back to his cell. Hawkes looks at him.

Cue the Who!

Hawkes takes pictures of the dead cop with his phone. He then calls Mac. Hawkes tells him someone died—just not the inmate. Mac and Hawkes think cyanide poisoning. Pennsylvania cops and CSIs are on their way. CSI isn’t planning a spin-off, right? Anyway, the two think Reggie’s behind it—a murder on Death Row gives him a stay of execution for the investigation. They figure he has help on the inside. And we see a cop hold up a guard, ordering him to open cell 17. Shots are fired, alarms blare, cells open and Hawkes rushes to the scene. He finds another dead guard. Hawkes goes to find the state trooper while the warden orders a lock down.

Meanwhile, Hawkes runs into a madhouse. Brawls, toilet paper, and guards running around. Hawkes spots Shane Casey. He’s like “Wha?” before an inmate rushes him. He spots the guard and Shane talking. The song fits perfectly. Back in New York, Stella and Flack are concerned. The riots have made the news already. If they know Hawkes is in law enforcement, he’ll be the next victim. Reggie tries to help Hawkes, swearing that he didn’t kill the guard—he was prepared to meet his death. Hawkes follows Reggie as police swarm the prison.

Mac tries to get Hawkes out as Danny leads Lindsay and Adam in. Adam notes that Shane Casey is in the same prison. Danny finally admits that everything got stolen way back in autumn. Danny only found his grandfather’s dog tags but not his badge. The print went to Shane Casey. Adam is amazed. Mac comes back to reveal that getting Hawkes out is low on the state troopers priority list.

Back at the prison, Hawkes pushes Reggie against the wall in revenge for his sister’s death. But he lets the guy go and Reggie runs back in. Hawkes calls Mac. The gang gives him their support. Hawkes notes that he saw Shane Casey. Flack tells him to hang in there. Hawkes is asked if he trusts anyone inside. Hawkes says no. Reggie returns with an orange jumpsuit, saying it’s his only chance to survive. Back in New York, Mac enlists his team to break Hawkes out of prison.

Hawkes is still not up on trusting Reggie, not since he killed Maya. Reggie asks if Hawkes wanted to know how it happened. Hawkes says she was a drug addict and he knows those situations. Reggie tells him that his sister was clean when he met her, he wasn’t. She tried to help him but when he was high, he killed her. He lied to the police, saying it was a drug deal gone bad. He regretted it every day and said that Maya always talked about Hawkes. Reggie asks Hawkes to accept his help for Maya.

Hawkes calls in the middle of the “Break Hawkes Out” pow-wow. Reggie reveals they are in cell block B and sneds a picture of the riot. Stella goes to send it to tactical. Three guards are down and the others are in cells. They tell him to lay low. He says no and there’s still a murder to investigate. The others are like: “Wha?” Hawkes says he doesn’t think it’s Reggie but no one rules out Shane Casey. Hawkes ends the call as some inmates drag the Warden in. They ask who Hawkes is and Reggie says he’s been in solitary. The inmates let him have a pop but Reggie stops him, saying that the Warden is their leverage. Hawkes agrees and gets the inmates to lay off the Warden. They leave and Hawkes asks to see Shane Casey’s cell. Hawkes reveals his true identity to a guard. He gives him a device to help him. Hawkes finds Casey’s cell. Except that hallway’s on fire! Hawkes asks about his escape plan. Hawkes requests that it pass Shane’s cell. Mac agrees.

Hawkes and Reggie run as more toilet paper flies. “Stop the panic” the music says. I like it. The gang in New York continue to plot his escape. Reggie and Hawkes look for an air duct. He kicks in a wall and climbs in. Reggie follows. Because it’s not a prison break unless someone’s climbing through the air duct, right? They get to cell block G and finds Casey’s cell. Hawkes goes through his stuff while Reggie keeps guard. Hawkes tells him about Casey’s beheaded girl hanging from the ceiling fan. Hawkes finds a peach pit, which canbe used to make cyanide. Now he has to figure out how Casey knows the guard. The New York gang tells Hawkes to get to the kitchen. But then there’s Casey.

Casey taunts Hawkes. The doctor says that everyone knows that Shane’s brother was guilty. Shane says he “sweetened” the blood-thirsty guard’s coffee. Hawkes tells him to let him go so he can hurt him. Shane says he has an appointment to keep. Reggie is like, “Wha?” Reggie tells Hawkes the cells are escape proof.

In New York, Lindsay and Danny are worried about Hawkes. Lindsay tries to tag Hawkes’ guide so tactical and tag him as “non-hostile.” They realize it is Reggie. They wonder why Reggie wanted to talk to Hawkes. Danny calls Hawkes and asks about Reggie. The two learn about Hawkes’ sister and her death. They are surprised and even more so when Hawkes reveals he’s in Casey’s cell with a con and a tracking device. Danny tells him that those batteries run out a lot. Hawkes realizes that it’s rechargeable, filled with sulfuric acid. He and Reggie break it open to use the acid to weaken a bar or two. Reggie asks to just to break out.

Shane meets with his state trooper contact, who has an NYPD uniform. And I guess Danny’s badge. Reggie and Hawkes continue to try to get out of the cell. Hawkes unscrews a pipe to use to pop it out. Reggie’s impressed. The two try to squeeze out. Hawkes makes it through. Reggie gets through but broke a rib. He picks up the pipe as Hawkes goes after Casey. Oh, lookit, Danny’s badge. Casey asks his friend how he looks. The friend is quiet but gives him a gun. I half expected Casey to shoot him.

Hawkes spots an empty room. Meanwhile, Flack is surprised about Hawkes’ sister. Flack and Danny say they were forthcoming about their siblings but Lindsay says she knows about wanting to bury the past. Mac says tactical is ready to move. Hawkes spots his contact, who reveals that Casey is holding the contact’s family hostage. Casey shoots the trooper as Hawkes and Reggie approach. He leaves.

Hawkes comforts the guard, missing Mac’s call. The trooper reveals that Casey’s partner is his former cell mate, who has the trooper’s family. Hawkes promises to get them back and closes the trooper’s eyes. Meanwhile, Reggie fights Casey. And it looks like Reggie is beating an officer. They get ready to fire as Casey pounds him. He raises his pipe and they shoot. They surround Reggie while Casey pretends to be Danny. They capture Hawkes, thinking he’s an inmate. He yells about Casey, but he walks off as Hawkes is cuffed. He sees Reggie’s body and is shocked.

NEW YORK! Danny brings Hawkes in. Stella hugs him, followed by Lindsay, Adams and Flack. Mac tells them that the family is safe and the Warden was released from the hospital. A BOLO is out for Casey but he’s still loose.

NEW YORK! Hawkes pulls out a box from his closet. Oh, hey, guess he got a new place. He pulls out pictures of him and Maya. We cut to a graveyard. Hawkes is there, carrying flowers. He lays them on his sister’s tombstone. He apologizes and tells her about his life.

Next week: Nothing new.

I enjoyed this episode. It was exciting, watching Hawkes try to escape and the gang trying to help him two states away. I am over Shane Casey, though.

A Subway Ride Away

Last week: I had the night shift and forgot to tape the show. I do know that Tatianna was eliminated. Eight girls are left to duke it out. Who will be given a metrocard back home? Find out!

Wanna be on top?

NEW YORK! We’re back in the Top Model Limo. Angelea is celebrating her placement and is ready to take on the competition. Raina asks if it’ll be weird that there will be another bed. Angelea goes on about how there will only be one, blah blah. Krista says that the house is Angelea, her, Alasia and Anslee against Raina, Brenda and Jessica. Alexandra is just…there? I don’t know.

Back at the house, they pull out the burlesque music as Jessica struts down the catwalk, celebrating her first picture call—again. She jokes while Angelea can’t stand her. She then asks Raina and Brenda how it is to be in the bottom. They ignore her and focus on their food. Angelea says if she instigates a fight, she’s happy. Did the producers walk in this week like “So…none of you are really the bitch…So, YOU *Points at Angelea* you have the history, you can be the bitch.” Or is Raina’s observation more accurate: that Angelea is just angry. Meanwhile, Alasia has tension with her roommates.

TYRA MAIL! “When you walk in, you might have a fit.” Straight jackets? The next morning, Alasia insists on a shower even as Raina tells her she has less than ten minutes. The girls are ready to leave and Alasia holds them up.

The girls get to their challenge, late. Ms. J wants to know who caused this. Alasia ‘fesses up. Ms. J tells her to shower at night. That’s what I do. Anyway, s/he turns it over to Ann Shoket, Editor-in-Chief of Seventeen Magazine. She tells the girls they may never know where their next job will come from. Ann is going to teach them how to dress like a model for their body type. Using the Seventeen wardrobe. Ann tells them to dress for proportions. Ann sends them to dress themselves for their style and body. Anslee is surprised that Brenda couldn’t find her waist. But Ann likes Brenda’s belt and Angelea’s flats. Alasia is informed she’s an hourglass figure, surprising her. And the girls get to keep their outfits! They love it!

Jessica tells Alasia it was rude to the group that she made them late. Jesscia talks about motherhood and Alasia starts talking. Jessica calls her on the interruption and Alasia FLIPS OUT. Did she pass the psych test?

Brenda tells us about the Alasia flip out. The others just wanted out of the limo. Brenda makes a comment about “uneducated” while Angelea talks. She talks about the schools she went to as Brenda says her name isn’t “Bitch.” Angelea calls her rude. Brenda predicts either Angelea or Alasia will throw a punch. They hope so because they know that means automatic dismissal from the show. Angelea comes in and says it’s tough living with girls, particularly if they don’t try to understand each other.

TYRA MAIL! “Ding Dong.” The girls get an invite from Tinsley Mortimer, who has a reality show following ANTM. Coincidence? Of course not.

The girls meet Mr. Jay to a party celebrating Tinsley’s hand bags launch. Each girl is going to have one on one time with Tinsley, where she will judge their style and personality. Alasia is scared. The girls face the cameras and Brenda says this is her scene. The girls work the room while Alasia hangs around the Jays. They kick her into the party. She just sits on a couch as Jessica gets called to meet Tinsley. Jessica explains her couch. Anslee talks about Coco Chanel but she doesn’t know the current designer. Tinsley loves Raina’s dress. Alasia talks about “Louis V” and says she can’t afford it. At the end, Mr. Jay and Tinsley note the girls had some wine. They love how Jessica absorbs the information. Tinsley likes Alasia’s outfit but personality was a bit of a wash. Jessica is already a part of the challenge win. The winner picks a friend to do a photoshoot of Seventeen Magazine. Tinsley picks Jessica as the winner anyway. She gets to pick two: Brenda and Raina. I’m loving Jessica more and more.

The trio goes to their shoot, about their own personal sense of style. Jessica loves the shoot and doesn’t want to go back to the house. What would the producers do if all the girls or a group of girls were legitimately scared to go home? Raina hits the confessional and ponders Alasia. Who is listening at the door. Raina is surprised to see her and greets her. Alasia goes in and says that Raina shouldn’t have said anything and to stop running her mouth because that’s how girls get beat up. Umm, I think the confessional is supposed to be PRIVATE. Raina listens in and she and Jessica pretend to fight all ghetto style. Raina, though, doesn’t hide that she listened in.

NEW YORK! TYRA MAIL! “It’s time to take your campaign underground.” The girls think Subway.

And that’s where they end up. They are surprised not to see anyone. A train pulls up and Mr. Jay exits. They will be modeling for Cover Girl. Holy crap, that’s last season winner NICOLE? I didn’t recognize her. She shills for Cover Girl some, Mr. Jay introduces Mike Ruiz as the photographer and tells them they will be New York women. Riding the subway! Namely the S-train—also known as the shuttle between Grand Central Station and Times Square! Angelea asks Nicole how she dealt with the drama. Nicole answers that she just stayed out of it. Follow that, Angelea. Brenda goes to tell Jessica.

Krista (Aspiring Actress): The girls have to pose on a moving subway car.

Anslee (Artist): Mr. Jay tells her not to snarl.

Alexandra (Upper East Side): Needed to be told to breath.

Raina (East Village Rockabilly): Mr. Jay tells her she’s getting too posey, too Chanel.

Jessica (Club goer): She says she was distracted by the subway. She tries to smirk.

Angelea (Fashionista): Mr. Jay and Mike love her shoot. He calls her confident and breath-taking.

Brenda (Student): She tries to look young and fresh. Mr. Jay asks how she would stand on a subway. Mr. Jay thinks her bone structure works against her.

Alasia (Model on a Go-See): Mr. Jay tells her it is a bad polaroid shot. She’s too giggly. And not pretty. He tells her to remain professional. She says she’s going to cry. And she does.

That’s a wrap.

Brenda says she feels confident about her shoot and thinks she’s improved.

SKULL AND CROSSBONES! Okay, if they aren’t going to walk the plank, can we push someone off the Brooklyn Bridge? Please?

Top Model Lounge! Bianca and Laura talk. Laura wishes she could’ve modeled on a subway train. Laura praises them as it’s hard to stand on the subway.

NEW YORK! The girls go to panel wearing their Seventeen outfits. There are prizes, there are judges and there is Ann Shoket. Raina is up first. She looks beautiful but she lost her neck. Ann likes her edge. Krista follows. She gets good reviews. Andre doesn’t like Jessica’s shoes, shocking her. Nigel thinks she looks lost, which everyone agrees. Brenda is next. Nigel tells her her best is when she looks off-camera. She has to do that to camera. Alasia follows and she falls flat. She says it was weak and she didn’t put any emotions in her eye. Andre says she’s evolved in confidence but the picture doesn’t show evolution. Nigel likes Anslee’s smirk. Ann says it’s enticing. Alexandra is next and Tyra loves the lean. Nigel loves her shot and Ann would book her for a beauty story. Angelea is fight. Nigel loves it. So does Andre. They are like: “We agree.” Andre says that she is delightful in her personal life. The girls exchange looks. The judges think they are haters.

The judges deliberate. They like Krista. Jessica fell flat. Nigel didn’t like about her remarks after the comment on the shoes. Andre doesn’t like Alasia’s picture. Tyra likes Anslee and Alexandra’s photos. Nigel and Andre rock Tyra as she announces they’ve reached a decision. ELIMINATION! Angelea gets called first. She is followed by: Krista, Raina, Alexandra, Anslee, and Jessica. Tyra tells her that the judges didn’t like how she behaved in panel. Brenda and Alasia are in the bottom two. Brenda: Didn’t embrace the haircut but was a fighter. She lacks the fire and desire, takes decent photos. Alasia: Embraced dancer and that is her gift. But her photo threw it out. But Alasia gets to stay. Tyra tells her not to throw away her gift while Alasia looks like she is having a fit. Tyra hugs Brenda and tells her to keep this look. She tells her to have the fire. Brenda isn’t thrilled to go over Alasia, but she’s going to go home and continue modeling. She can’t wait to see her daughter.

America’s Next Top Model:

Alasia

Alexandra

Angelea

Anslee

Brenda

Gabrielle

Jessica

Krista

Naduah

Raina

Ren

Simone

Tatianna

Next week: Drag queens! Alasia gets left behind the day of a photoshoot! Oh no!

I figured Brenda would leave. I wonder though if the judges really don’t know what Angelea is like at the house.

New York Moment:

Trying to remain poised on a moving subway car.

Hello, Glee, It IS You We’ve Been Looking For

Last time on Glee…Way back in December…Will discovered his wife wasn’t pregnant, just borrowing a soap opera cliché. Finn learned that Quinn’s (Prissy Cheerleader’s) baby was really Puck’s. The gang went to Sectionals, where their entire set was stolen by their rival schools. Finn comes in to save the day and they rock their performance, winning. Sue gets suspended and goes away, promising revenge. Meanwhile, Will wins Emma.

And now…The Return of Glee!

Kurt, Rachel and Mercedes walk down the hallway, reveling in their win. They feel powerful, on top of the world…And then a jock tosses a slushy in their faces. Same old Glee. Meanwhile, Will learns Glee, despite their win, is still on the bottom of the food chain. He fights for the auditorium, but the Cheerios need a place to practice in the winter. Will wonders who is couching the Cheerios. Sue is back! With more insults. She has been reinstated, much to Will’s shock.

Meanwhile, Finn voiceovers that football season is over and now he is trying basketball. But he’s off his game. He and Rachel are dating and she even has his and hers calendars made up complete with all their dates. But he’s not listening. He still isn’t over Quinn, who is having issues with Puck and her pregnancy. Finn is confused.

As is Will. He wants to know how Sue got reinstated. We see her at dinner, slipping a roofie into the Principal’s drink and then blackmailing him. She’s back and she’s got the power.

Will relates a story of how Bell wanted everyone to answer the phone with “Ahoy, ahoy” while Edison thought “Hello” was better. He segues this into how the club has not moved in their position in the school. He tells them that New Directions has to go in even newer directions. He tells them to find songs with “Hello” in the title.

Will then goes to visit Emma and there is adorable awkwardness. Will goes for a kiss. Emma protests that she has to put her face on and grabs a case. Will stops her, saying he doesn’t need that to kiss her. He then asks her to go out on a date so they can get to know each other. Like that Will cooks. Emma agrees.

Sue scolds Britt and Santana about how they didn’t bring down Glee. She tells them to mess with Rachel and get her to leave. No Rachel, no Glee. Sue, didn’t you try this before? And failed? Cabaret? Ring a bell?

Will continues to mentor Finn, comparing their respective loss of fatherhood. He tells Finn that he is a new man and it’s time to get to know him. Finn gets to sing whatever he wants. He sings Morrison, singing to Quinn and then Glee. After his performance, Britt and Santana asks him a date. He wants to know which one. They respond: “Both.” Somewhere, Barney is trying to get to Ohio to tell Finn to go for it.

After the commercials, Rachel catches Finn talking with Santana and Britt. She asks what they want and he replies the time. She and Finn have a pow-wow where Finn tries to let her down. Rachel lets him have it, saying he was humiliated when Quinn dumped him and that she’s the only one who can see him for him. But he can’t see her for her and she runs off crying. She’s so pissed, she decides to focus on the “hell” part of the assignment and lets Finn have it. Will, though, isn’t thrilled. He tells the group that while they won Sectionals, so did Vocal Adrenaline. Vocal Adrenaline—the group that performed “Rehab” in the pilot from May—has been the winner at Nationals three years running. This, he says, is the big leagues.

Rachel takes this seriously and goes to a music store to find the perfect “Hello” song. She is looking over Lionel Ritchie when someone finds her. It is Jesse St. James AKA Lea Michele’s Spring Awakening co-star Jonathan Groff! He’s also part of Vocal Adrenaline. He tells Rachel that her performance at Sectionals was flawed but she has talent. He reveals he’s a senior looking to go out in a blaze of glory and head off to UCLA. He flirts with Rachel and performs “Hello” with her. As they finish, the crowd applauds and Jesse asks her out on a date. A bell rings.

We cut to the date. Britt and Santana send their plates back, even though they ate most of the plates. They are rude to their waitress and then start talking about how Finn could increase in hotness by losing Rachel. He’s sitting right across from them. They tell him he pays for dinner, they make out for him. Barney thinks this is a win and sends this message to Finn. But when Britt and Santana trash talk Rachel, he sticks up for her. They banish Finn to the car. Meanwhile, Will and Emma’s date is going better. They dance and Will sings! He and Emma collapse on the couch, kissing but Emma stops. She reveals she’s still a virgin, throwing Will for a loop. She doesn’t think he’s okay with it, but he insists he is. He says they’ll watch a movie but it’ll have to be either Armageddon or Bad Boys as those are the only DVDs Terri didn’t take. Emma looks torn as explosions go off in the background.

Finn approaches Rachel and apologizes. Rachel accepts it but tells Finn she found someone else. She reveals that her new beau is the lead of their competitor, setting alarms off in Finn’s mind. Rachel doesn’t find anything suspicious and thinks that Finn’s just jealous. He goes to find Will and tells him they have a problem.

Santana and Britt get reamed for failing in keeping Finn’s attention. But they impress her by revealing about Rachel’s new relationship.

We cut to Vocal Adrenaline’s rehearsal, singing “Highway to Hell.” Will sneaks in. And there is Idina Menzel! HI IDINA! She isn’t thrilled and tells them to put on a show face. She says they want it so bad, it should hurt. Will goes to talk to Idina. She is surprised that not only is the competition is there, but that they are competition. He talks about Jesse and Rachel’s relationship, saying they might be spying on them. Idina says they aren’t and that the heart wants what the heart wants. This leads to…

Will and Idina making out on the couch? He does stop, making Idina question herself or Will’s sexuality. They go to Will’s kitchen where Idina reveals she lives for Vocal Adrenaline. She hasn’t been on a date but notes that she did see Will back in the pilot. Will says he understands about work, saying that Glee played a part in bringing down his marriage. Idina asks how long he’s been divorced for. He isn’t yet and he’s dating Emma…She tells him to slow down. He went from one relationship to another. She tells him to take a breather and gives him her number.

At school, four of the original Glees confront Rachel about her relationship with Jesse. They are suspicious too. Rachel pleads for relationship—how often could she get this chance. The gang tells them to dump him or she’s out. She says they won’t be able to replace her. Kurt says they can. Mercedes tells Rachel that she knows Rachel always wanted them to succeed and be something great. She asks if that’s still true.

Glee’s on DVD!

Rachel goes to see Sue. She introduces her to the McKinley High Old Maids club. Sue says that Finn went on a date but she’s flirting with Jesse St. James but that the club is betrayed. Rachel is floored. Britt and Santana gives Sue the information. One girl reveals that was in love with an opposing wrestler but her team was against it. She crushed him. Sue encourages Rachel to think of herself and go after Jesse. Or join the Old Maids Club.

Emma sets up a perfect table as Terri walks in. Emma says she is surprising Will. Terri insults Emma and Emma tries to kick her out. Terri says she’s there to get the rest of her DVDs and finds “The Jazz Singer” on the TV. She asks about it and Emma tells her that Will says “Hello” is their song. Terri reveals that the song was their prom song. She tells Emma to look it up in the yearbook. She knocks a spoon out of place and leaves.

Rachel goes to visit Vocal Adrenaline. She is surprised when a spotlight turns on, saying she has a rape whistle. Jesse tells her to calm down and turns it off. She asks if he is just dating her to get one up on Glee. He reintroduces himself, not as Jesse St. James, star of Vocal Adrenaline. But as Jesse, the guy who is crazy about Rachel. They kiss and Jesse shares a look with Idina in the shadows.

Back at school, Emma shows Will his yearbook. He realizes why Emma left without eating the other night. He says he forgot about the night and Emma believes him. She echoes Idina’s earlier statement: Will’s only been in one relationship and he’s entered a new one on the heels of the old one. He needs time. He agrees to take it, discover who he is alone. She says that when he’s ready, maybe she will be too. He leaves her so she can cry.

At Finn’s locker, Rachel tells him that she and Jesse are over. She was taking one for the team. He says that he hopes they can be a couple now. That he was thinking about them and wants to be a couple. Rachel says no, because the team doesn’t need the drama. She’s thinking about the team. Finn tells her that he won’t just go away.

And Glee performs “Hello, Goodbye.” Emma watches as Will is dejected. Rachel looks ready to cry during the performance and walks off after the song is over.

Did they get Benny Ninja to do Sue’s “Vogue” video? Or is that archive footage from the original Madge video? Or am I imagining Benny? Wonder if he’ll be on ANTM this season…

The Madonna episode is going to be WIN.

Next week: Madonna.

GLEE IS BACK! I’d say that was worth the wait, though it would’ve been nicer back in January so I didn’t have to wait. Anyway, this new love triangle is going to be interesting. And Idina was great. Can’t wait to see more from her.

Quote of the Episode:

“That was a surprise attack like a Pearly White Harbor.”

The Great Monkey Mugging

I missed the cold open but from the summary, I get that Marshall got mugged.

I came in when Lily wanted to get a gun, especially since wants a holster that matches these new shoes she bought. By the way, her new credit card works. Oh, Lily. Marshall, ignoring the credit card comment, ix-nays that idea, mainly because he tends to accidentally injure Lily. We see him pop a cork into her, spin her a little too hard, punch her when she wears a scary costume, etc. Lily agrees that they are a bit accident prone but she doesn’t want anything to happen to Marshall. So he tells her the mugging didn’t happen exactly as he said. Barney takes this to mean the robber WAS wearing a black knit skull cap. Marshall shoots this down. He says the mugger wasn’t wearing ANYTHING. This doesn’t calm Lily down. So he tells them that as he went home via Central Park, he stopped at the zoo. We see a zookeeper tell Marshall to stay away from the monkey but Marshall waves him off. Then the monkey attacks, stealing his wallet. Ted, Barney and Lily laugh when they realized Marshall was mugged by a monkey.

We come back and the gang continues to make jokes about the mugging. Robin comes back and they tell her the story. Barney tells it, complete with a banana and vaudeville. Marshall keeps exclaiming that there wasn’t a banana but Robin doesn’t believe the monkey part. Marshall informs her that part was true. Robin wants to interview him for her show. Ted thought his model was going to be on the show. Robin says no, she wasn’t going to have someone who plays with dolls on her show. Especially after that last guy, but he was on just so the FBI could search his house. Marshall agrees to do the show, so long as it isn’t treated as a joke.

At the apartment, Barney comes in and explains what happened at MacLaren’s: He was using Marshall’s mugging story (sans monkey) to pick up a girl when a blonde comes up calling him Neil. Thinking the show was about to break the fourth wall and wink at the audience, I keep going until the blonde says his name is Neil Armstrong. “Like the cyclist?” the brunette asks. Blonde wants to know why he wasn’t in space. Brunette wants to know if he really was mugged. Barney does a fine tap dance saying he was mugged on his way to the launch pad and the mugger stole the space shuttle keys. He then asks for a three-way and is granted it. Ted doubts this as Barney smells like two gin and tonics were thrown at him. Marshall even finds a lime. Barney says his story’s ending is better.

Robin then enters and tells Marshall her producer loved the monkey mugging story. As she leaves, Marshall confesses something to Ted and Barney: he wasn’t mugged by a monkey. They’re shocked. Really? A monkey mugged me was a pretty lame story.

We go back to MacLaren’s as Barney and Ted digest the news that Marshall wasn’t mugged by a monkey. They think that now he’s telling a lie to cover his embarrassing escapade. Marshall insists it didn’t happen and he isn’t going to lie on national television. And he is confiding in his best friends. Ted is called upon to decide if Marshall is lying. He is inconclusive as Marshall smells great. Ted says Marshall can’t go on TV and lie. People hate being lied to. Barney argues that people don’t like finding out they were lied to. “A lie is a great story ruined by the truth—Barney Stinson” Nice. He reveals that the threesome story had a different ending—the girls threw their drinks on him. He goes to apologize to Sara (the blonde), who admits she isn’t really 28. She’s 31. Barney says that’s why people need the lie. And he stands up, revealing the threesome belt. Lily comes in and gives him three high fives. She then says she didn’t get a gun now that Marshall was mugged by a monkey. Marshall agrees.

Now Ted realizes that Marshall maybe lying. He tries to sniff it out again but only wonders about Marshall’s cologne.

The next night on the set of Robin’s show, Ted brings his model of the Empire State Building in case Marshall decides not to go through with the interview. Robin reveals that to make the story interesting, they brought Captain Bobo, the mugger, for Marshall to face. The zookeeper reveals that Bobo will be sent to live in a wildlife reserve, separated forever from his mate Milly. Marshall’s heartstrings are tugged. On the air, Marshall tells Robin he can’t tell her the story as he wants to know what’s under the sheet. Robin goes to commercial. Marshall says he wasn’t mugged by a monkey. Lily says she’s going to buy a gun. Marshall retracts his statement as the zookeeper say that Bobo and Milly will be separated. Marshall is so torn with everyone demanding to know the truth. He finally says he’s going back to bed and walks off the step. The gang never learned the truth.

Robin gives in and tells Ted he’s on with his model as the doll guy keeps brushing their hair. FBI’s taking their sweet time going through his house. Ted and Barney talk about changing endings. Barney promises Ted that one day when he retells this story, he will change the ending. Future!Ted then tells his children that the most amazing thing happened next. Bobo got out of his cage and took one of the dolls. Bobo climbs the Empire State Building as Mike starts shooting paper airplanes at the monkey, who swipes at them. Robin and Ted watch in astonishment as this unfolds. “Is this really happening?” Ted asks. Barney says, “Sure, it is, Ted.” And Future!Ted swears by it.

Pretty cute episode, though I wonder why the gang would readily believe Marshall was mugged by a monkey.

Quote of the Episode:

“Monkeys are mugging people now? It really is a jungle out there.”—Ted, upon hearing about the mugging.

Hide and Seek

And CSI:NY is back!

NEW YORK! Stella walks in slow motion through a traffic jam as some yellow police tape flutters menacing in the wind. She crosses it, pauses and looks as if she thought she heard or saw something. She goes into the building the tape is in front of as the show tries to be a horror film, complete with lone yellow balloon. Watch it pops. This lighting does not favor Melina at all. She spots more yellow tape, crosses it and tries to turn on the lights. Gee, they’re out. She spots some sort of red drink seeping into the carpet, red dressing dripping off a piece of lettuce and then—a sound! She pulls her piece and approaches a cabinet. She puts her gun away as she spots a scared little boy. A shadow passes behind her and she gives chase as a storm kicks up. She calls for back-up.

And gets hit. By a truck. Oh, Stella. The person from the other car gets out and the woman tries to help Stella out. But then she disappears as…

It is revealed to be a bad dream on Stella’s part. You’d think she’d dream herself some better lighting.

CUE THE WHO!

LADY LIBERTY! Sad music plays as we return to Stella, looking forlornly out a window. Mac comes to jar her from her vigil. She says she’s waiting for the results of an autopsy and Sid banished her for hovering. She tells Mac that the victim is Marina Garritto, the sister of a missing 8 years-old boy in a 15 years-old case. She would call Stella like clockwork every Monday asking for updates, trying to generate new leads. Stella couldn’t take her call the past Monday because she was busy. Marina was then rushed to Trinity Hospital the night before with a gunshot wound. She was DOA.

And Sid rules her death a suicide. Stella flips out, refusing to believe that Marina committed suicide. She storms out of the lab, leaving Mac to apologize for her behavior. Sid’s disappointed too. He remembers the Garritto case, informing us that Marina and Luke were twins. Stella put Luke’s DNA in the database in hopes it would match somewhere. But nothing came of that either.

We see Marina, alive, talking about waiting for her brother.She believes he’s alive, waiting for them. It seems she’s talking to a support group, I guess. She imagines he’s alive, but she always sees him as 8 years-old.

Hi, Lindsay! She and Danny as well Hawkes try to help Stella. Lindsay suggests that it’s odd that women use guns for suicide. But Hawkes found a suicide letter sent to family and friends. She also closed her bank accounts, made a donation, set her affairs in order. Everything suggests that Marina committed suicide. Stella doesn’t believe so. She recalls meeting Marina a few years back when the woman came to report her brother missing, bringing his hat for DNA. Stella talked with her and knows that she would not give up.

NEW YORK! Hey, is that Mac’s Mystery Brunette from the St. Patty’s episode? Adam meets her and flirts, informing us that she’s an ER doctor. Mac meets her and dismisses Adam, taking Mystery Brunette to his office. She brings a delivery of Marina Garritto’s clothing and gets to look at the crime scene. She’s surprised that Marina’s death was ruled a suicide. She mentions instantaneous rigor and says she was in the Air Force reserves, serving as a doctor in Afghanistan. She and Mac have military in common. Mystery Brunette says that she noticed Marina’s hand clenched as if holding on to something for dear life when she died.

Stella is excited to hear this, thinking it means Marina struggled before she died. She was grabbing on to something to save herself. But what? And why?

Stella goes to Marina’s apartment, where she has a wall dedicated to her brother’s case. Stella goes to a closet, finding clothes. She sees a picture of Marina and Luke as children. Flack couldn’t find any witnesses though one guy thought he heard something, called the police. Flack thinks that Marina shot herself, regretted it and tried to get help. Stella thinks that Marina was shot, struggled and tried to get help. They both agree the phone was what Marina was clutching, but the why they disagree on. Flack notes that there is no sign of forced entry and mentions everyone has a Marina Garritto. Stella asks him to keep looking and he agrees. She opens a closet and a guy pops out. Stella and Flack pursue him to an indoor pool. She spots a broken…something…before getting hit on the head and falling into the pool. Flack, in the lobby, hears a shot while we cut to Stella struggling in the water with the guy. Her gun rests on the bottom of the pool. They continue to struggle. Until we see blood. Flack shoots at the guy, hitting his leg. Completely unconvincing acting, there, buddy. “Ow.” Right. Flack goes after Stella.

This is the seasonal “Stella’s in danger” episode, isn’t it?

We see Stella getting treated before cutting to Marina again. She remembers her mother crying, the police, an ice cream truck. Luke’s bike was on a stoop but not Luke. Marina says it was hard that she looked like him and was a constant reminder of what her family was missing. She said she hated her face and her mother died a year later. We cut back to the present as Mystery Brunette treats Stella. Mac goes to visit and Stella protests sick leave. They reveal Stella’s attacker was Marina’s step-father. Stella believes that Marina found Luke’s killer—the step-father.

Adam gets to go to the pool with a skimmer. He finds a yellow pillow, blood…and then we go to Marina’s body. She touched something she was allergic reaction. Hawkes is surprised Sid called him down for a second opinion, but Sid’s a little uncertain. Hawkes tries to cheer his friend up. Sid asks after Stella, glad she’s okay. Meanwhile, Lindsay’s back at Marina’s apartment. He picks up a rather disgusting French fry, which isn’t a fry. She runs a test on it, finding that it is furniture foam. But just that one. The rest are french fries. Lindsay found GSR on the foam. She has an idea, telling Hawkes to get Adam to bring the yellow pillow. I’m thinking homemade silencer. And Lindsay proves it. Mac tells the gang that Marina was murdered. No one committing suicide worries about muffling the sound. He went back to the apartment to get the other pillow because he over-thought things—he was worried people would connect the missing pillow back to him. Stella though knows they have to put a gun in Tony’s hand.

Danny goes over Marina’s clothes, watching some fabric shrink before his eyes. Meanwhile, Adam tracks the gun used back to a robbery but by a different person. They think the Step-Father got it from him. Mac puts pressure because he knows the Step-Father will skip town. Danny calls his wife over to watch the Amazing Shrinking Material. It is material only sold in Step-Father’s textile business. It was made with nickel, causing Marina’s rash. And it was what Marina was clutching too as she died. It was a clue to her killer, which uncurled as she cooled and was collected by Mystery Brunette as clothing.

We go back to Marina, saying how she saw her Step-Father kill her brother after Luke mouthed off. She kept quiet because she was afraid her mother wouldn’t love her anymore and eventually, she just forgot.

And is ANYONE going to remember that Flack shot Step Father?

NEW YORK! Stella goes to Danny. He and Flack believe Step-Father’s using forged documents to get out of Dodge. They go to pick him up as Stella discovers a letter from Marina. She tells Stella she remembers everything, a repressed memory coming back to the future triggered when she went back to the scene of the crime.

At a bar, Step-Father gets antsy. He gets fake documents, then meets Danny and Flack. He protests it was an accident as Danny continues to read him his rights. Meanwhile, Hawkes leads a team down to Marina’s childhood home. Stella says Marina figured it out. Flack and Hawkes discover a locked trunk. Stella says that Marina was going to let the search for her brother go. Her letter was mistaken as a suicide letter because she was dead, it was a letter saying she was going to let her Step Father go. Meanwhile, Flack and Hawkes found Luke’s body.

Stella goes back to Sid and apologizes. Stella reveals that Marina was going to move to Boston. Meanwhile, Flack calls his “Marina”—Mr. Brennan. He asks to meet with the man in hopes of generating answers. And Mac finds Stella asleep on the couch again, tucks her in and leaves.

Marina recalls thinking that Luke was hiding their secret place, a cabinet. But he wasn’t. He was hiding in a place she would never find him.

Aww.

That was actually pretty interesting. It was a nice touch to keep cutting back to Marina’s letter and nice way to work in Mystery Brunette.

Next week: Hawkes had a sister? And now he needs to be saved from prison? Again?

Quote of the Episode:

“We’re not always right but it’s always because we’re wrong.” –Hawkes to Sid