Hauntings and Dancing Down South

We’re getting some ghosts as Sam visits Savannah, GA and Charleston, SC.

Sam starts off in Charleston. She goes on a ghost tour to the old city jail, built in 1801. He shows them a torture device, which Sam calls the first pilates machine. He next brings the group in a prison cell, still period. He tells them of Lavinia Fisher, who was convicted of murdering people in her husband’s inn. She asked to be hanged in her wedding dress and took requests for messages to the devil. Sam notes there are hand marks on the walls, surprising even her guide. Sam’s cameraman dares her to go inside and then pranks her. She tries to attack him.

Sam wakes up at an ungodly hour to go work out with the US Army. Why? She goes for a jog. She then joins the cadets for stretches. Sam does manage to hold her own against the military. They even start the singing. You can tell this is the South and the Army, the cadet keeps calling her “ma’am.” As the sound editors cue up “As the Caissons Go Rollin’ Along” as Sam continues the workout from hell. They reward her with breakfast.

She goes from running to riding, joining a hunt. But there will be no real fox chased during this hunt—they will just place something with a fox’s scent down for the dogs to chase. She follows the jumpers in the hilltop group. That is one tiny horn. We see dogs run, horses chase and that small horn again. They hold a cocktail party and give Sam her favorite thing—alcohol.

Sam goes to dance lessons to learn how to do the Charleston. I learned how to do the Charleston in elementary school. We did a show—music in the last 150 years (1848-1998) to commemorate our church’s anniversary. Some girls got their dance teacher to teach them how to the Charleston and then they taught it to the rest of us, even us who weren’t in the number! (Like me, I was in the Twist number). After mastering the Charleston, Samantha heads south to Savannah. She goes to a local music venue, Jinx. And don’t let the tattoos fool you—they are Bingo freaks. Except with a bit of twist. The emcee keeps drinking while Sam makes friends with Chris, a tattoo artist. He thinks Sam should get a globe on her ankle. Sam gets Bingo. Her prize—whiskey and emcee duties. She goes to meet the emcee. She gets into some banter with the emcee, calling themselves the “sick version of Regis and Kelly.” She holds her own.

Sam goes to face her greatest fear: bees. Two hundred forty thousand to be exact. The beekeeper explains that yellow jackets sting, not really honey bees. They use smoke to relax the bees and prevent them for sounding the alarm. A bee gets into Sam’s net, scaring her. She gets a reward for being brave by tasting pure, fresh honey straight from the hive. He gives her some bees to hold. I wouldn’t do that. She holds them for half a minute, calls them adorable and shakes them off.

Cemetery! My sister is skived out already. Sam goes to visit Bonaventure Cemetery. Her host brings her to Gracie Watson’s grave, a little girl. She is buried alone and Sam gives her some candy. Sam asks her about paranormal activity. Her host tells Sam that there are reports of French ghosts, but other stories are cut short by storm winds. Sam leaves the cemetery and goes to do a murder mystery theatre. I did one of those at school. It was fun even if I wasn’t right. The actors also double as servers. So whodunit? Sam Brown did! The sleuth calls her a “talk show host.” She corrects him, saying, “Travel show host!” Good job, Sam!

Now, Sam goes VIP in Atlanta, GA.

Sam meets up with a fashion show host to go visit Atlanta’s oldest jewelry store. Sam apologizes to husbands for any ideas their wives get after the scene. Sam picks some pieces out to try on. Sam admires her diamonds. She is worth $300, 000 with the jewels on. They allow Sam to borrow some pieces and even give her security. She has her own little secret service! They drop Sam off at…

Atlanta’s fashion show Hotlanta! Anyone can go to Hotlanta because it is a benefit. She meets a designer who is putting her on the red carpet. She wears a beautiful black dress with the jewelry. And her body guard is behind her. She meets another designer who will put her on the catwalk. She learns how to walk—call Ms. J! Sam hits hair and make up, sadly not done by Sutan or Christian. Sam learns she is opening the show and is needed in five minutes. So they speed her through. And she hits the catwalk to applause.

Sam goes to the Georgia Aquarium, the largest aquarium on the planet. She goes on a backstage tour. She sees the exhibits. Her guide talks her into going into the water and swimming with the whale sharks, which can only swallow something the size of a quarter. Sam gets her gear and dives in. She worries still about becoming scum as one swims by. She screams so loud, the sound guy can pick it up on land. But she is glad to have done it.

So, from the aquarium she goes to an underground mall. She goes for some dance lessons with Swagger. She impresses them with the Roger Rabbit. But they teach her some of their hip hop moves. She even gets an audience but asks Swagger to dance. She passes their test.

ATLANTA! Sam goes to eat at Rathbun’s to meet one of the best cooks in the city. Sam gives him a challenge to make a dish with a pumpkin. He asks Sam to help him and give him a mud bath as a prize. He creates a few dishes with the pumpkin and they name them. When some guys tells her he is on his third martini, she gives him one of the dishes. She finds other guinea pigs who like their dishes. Sam goes to meet up the fashion host and her friend to go to a nightclub in an opera house. She gets appetizers in a private room. They bring a giant cup, fill it with ice and give them a lot of champagne. So, appropriately buzzed, she goes to try out her dance moves.

Sam finishes her time in Atlanta by first eating at Varsity, a drive-in burger joint. Her serve sings the menu and orders, like they used to do. She gets her order and then goes to visit the Atlanta Braves. She calls this a present to the men who had to suffer through her Breakfast at Tiffany’s moment. The Braves give her her own jersey. She gets pitching lessons but needs catching lessons. Sam uses some of her dancing lessons to help get the footing right. Some fans cheer for her. Sam goes to apologize to her cameraman after nearly clocking him with a ball. She goes to meet some of the wives of the players, who dish about their husbands. She then goes to a pep rally before the game. They give her a drum and she performs. That’s some pre-show. They then give her a t-shirt gun to fire into the crowds. I loved that when I went to Shea Stadium.

And so ends Sam’s tour of the South. Next week: Hawaii.

Quote of the Episode(s):

“A drag hunt does not involve drag queens.”—Sam, getting ready for a hunt in Charleston

“You are a woman’s best friend.”
“Actually, I’m her husband’s best friend.” –Sam and the Jeweler in Atlanta