Great Weekends Are Here Again!

Samantha Brown is back! And she’s touring spots you can do in a weekend as the economy is no better than it was last year. At least I have a job though this season!

Sam first hits the City of Brotherly Love and starts with a visit to the Eastern State Penitentiary. TAPS, from Ghost Hunters, likes to come here for investigations as they always get something. In fact, Sam and her tour guide started in the room that serves as Central Command. Sam learns that the prison was intended to make the prisoners think about what they had done, not just punish them. Sam agrees to sit in a cell. She survives and then visits Al Capone’s elegantly designed cell. It looks like a study, not a prison cell. I recognize that stair case! That’s the one TAPS caught a shadowy figure running down the hall! The tour guide even mentions ghosts. He takes her to the top of the prison to show her the best view of Philadelphia and got the memo about Sam—he provided champagne.

Sam goes to see “Mummers.” They have a parade on New Year’s Day and teach Sam some of their moves.

Sam goes to visit the Phantoms, the minor league equivalent of Philly’s NHL team. She doesn’t know if she’ll “Sam-capades funny” or just humiliated. She hits the ice and holds herself up pretty well, even if the guys could skate circles around her. She even gets to check someone. Go, Sam! She does wipe out in the end. But she picks herself up and goes to visit SEPTA, Philly’s mass transit. Two locals bring her to…food carts. Okay, whatever floats your boat. Wait, free movie? She goes to the Comcast Center and that is one big screen. Sam goes to visit the Philadelphia Mural Program, murals painted across buildings. She then goes to South Street, which is a wonderful shopping experience. I encourage you guys to go. She visits a mosaic made from things found on the street. It’s beautiful.

Cue “Hail to the Chief” as Samantha heads into Yards Tavern. They make presidential beer—recipes from Thomas Jefferson and George Washington, no less. Sam tries their beers and likes them. They even quote Benjamin Franklin, naturally. She goes to another bar. They are playing “Quizzo.” Pub Trivial Games! Her team is the Budget Babes. One of the teams calls themselves “Samantha Brown, Buy Us a Round.” She finds them and says that if they beat her team, she’ll buy them a round. And she does.

Sam goes for a boxing lesson. She talks about fighting with the owners, who fight each other. They pit Sam against a six-time champion amateur boxer. Sam is stunned when her Rocky reference falls short. They do send her running after a ball. Sam dons her pink gloves and looks like she’s ready to throw up. The trainers aren’t comforting, revealing the helmet doesn’t do much to soften blows. It’s Sledgehammer v Diamond. Good luck, Sledgehammer. Diamond lands a punch and then another. So, she leaves the ring and gets a massage.

Sam’s Price Tag: $393

Also, Expedia now supports the show. So, get used to hearing that name.

In the next half-hour, Sam goes north to Minnesota.

Sam goes to visit a dog-sledding lodge to feed the dogs. They greet her with barks. Eighty, hungry dogs await Sam. Her guide assures her they are friendly. They are on top of their houses, waiting for their meal. She feeds them and then has to break out the pooper-scooper. The smell almost makes her sick. She finishes with a dog high-five. Sam does get dog-sledding lessons. Her skier gets a head start and Sam has trouble untying her sled. But she gets it and the dogs take off. She watches a sunset as she goes. After the sun goes down, Sam heads back to the lodge for food. She asks how bad the winter camping experience will be. One of the women assures her that she’ll be warm in her sleeping equipment.

Sam harnesses her dogs and then has to pack her sled. She is surprised to hear it may reach ten below and falls off the sled. Sam and the dogs are excited. Buster, Patches, Snark, Snoop, Thistle and Daisy will lead Sam to her camping spot. Sam enjoys the smooth ride.

They leave the frozen lake and head into the woods. The sled wipes out a few times as its early in the season—not enough snow on the ground for a smooth ride. Sam runs to catch up. They leave the woods. Ellen, her companion, helps her set up a tent right on the ice, because it’s flatter. They get the tent up. Next up: get water. So, they chop through the ice to get to the lake water underneath. The ice is thick and Sam is informed you could drive it. Sam is none too happy to hear she could’ve sat in a car. They strike water and bring it back to camp. Next task: Get branches. These are used for doggie beds. Sam rubs a dog’s tummy and then heads for dinner. They share poems around the fire. A man asks Sam if she’s going to jump in the lake. She considers this as she jogs to warm herself up. She’s sleeping outside, under the stars on the ice.

Samantha wakes up. Well, not really as she didn’t get a good night’s sleep as the ice isn’t comfortable. She finds herself a makeshift bathroom as the rest of her group makes breakfast and fishes for lunch. They pack up camp and re-harness the dogs. They then harness Samantha to Lightning, who pulls her while she is on skies. It looks fun. The lodge owner cuts up a hole in the lake for Sam to jump into.

She returns and hits the sauna. They run out and Sam jumps in the lake. After emerging, she makes a beeline for the sauna. Good job, Sam!

So, that’s the first hour of Sam’s new season. Welcome back!

Quote of the Episode(s):

“I’ve never had to work so hard to get something between my legs ever.” Chosen for the double entendre.