Slut School. Really Classy...

Yet probably the closest thing to reality this show has gotten. We all have those schools in the neighborhood--the ones where you talk about the students who go there in hushed whispers for whatever reason. I know we have one where I live, the last hope school when you fail out of both Catholic and public hig schools.

Anyway, Slut School is apparently Amy's destination as we learn while Molly prepares to go to Chicago to save her mom. Who lets a woman with Alzheimer's travel the world? Ashley is thrilled to have dad back (not) and goes on a hunger strike till Molly returns. Dad takes the Molly-free environment to convince Amy not to go to Slut School but back to her old school. Amy seems pretty dead set against it as we go to Ben's room. I must've blinked, because I didn't recall Henry mentioning Alice dumped him last episode but...Alice dumped Henry. Who apparently spent the entire weekend wallowing on Ben's bedroom floor. Ben rouses his buddy and gets him to go to school.

Meanwhile, Grace is making two sandwiches as John Schneider pours his coffee. She explains she's having lunch with Jack because she's willing to take him back. John Schneider isn't too thrilled and tells his daughter to get new friends (namely, not anyone named Ricky or Adrian). He even suggests getting Tom to help, meaning he probably doesn't know that Jennifer Coolidge showed up last week to get money so her bag-of-oranges-wielding-pimp doesn't hurt Tom. John Schneider also suggests that it's kinda low for his daughter to grovel over a sandwich, knowing full well just where a man's stomach leads him. Grace isn't convinced.

And her BFFs Ricky and Adrian are trying to get dressed after a weekend together. Adrian still has issues with Amy having Ricky's baby, insisting that he not call it "his baby" but "a baby." Ricky wants to take responsiblity. A knock comes to the door and a half-clad couple answers it to find...Adrian's dad on the other side. Uh oh. After the opening and commercials, Dad is berating his daughter--whom he said he didn't want to see last episode--in Spanish. Ricky looks uncomfortable and grabs his opportunity when Dad orders him to leave. Adrian tells him to stay but Ricky wisely heads for the hills. Dad tells Adrian that he agreed to stay away from her because it's what Adrian's mom wanted. But now he wants her in his life. He says he's an ADA and he can get a court order that says she has to live with him--oh, and Mom has already said it's okay. Adrian is thoroughly upset and whines about it to my favorite character, the guidance counselor.

Madison is still mad at Lauren for making out with Ricky. Lauren says it's not like she had sex with him but Madison says she portrayed their best friend. Lauren's brother/Madison's boyfriend comes over and correctly points out that neither have been good friends to Amy as they were the blabbermouths who told the school she's pregnant and now she's going to Slut School. Ben is wallowing over this as Alice walks in talking sports with Jack. They are arguing between Dan Marino and Tom Brady, with Marino winning. Neither Grace nor Henry are happy to see the two holding hands, but the moment is broken as Amy walks in. Ben gives her a big hug and tells her he is glad she has decided to come back. Amy doesn't look so thrilled.

We cut to--Ben getting beat up? The hell? And then lunch, where Madison tries to talk with Amy, who is waiting for her boyfriend to show up. Ricky does and Madison goes to sit with Lauren. Ricky once again tries to tell Amy he wants to be part of the baby's life but isn't too thrilled with her being at school. Amy wants him to go away. Meanwhile, Lauren decides to call her dad and confess what she did with Ricky. And it turns out Lauren's dad is...RICKY'S THERAPIST? Great, now I'm going to have to redo my chart of how everyone's connected. Anyway, Ricky's Therapist makes sure that Lauren isn't pregnant and states he's happy she called him, she trusted him. However, Dad hangs up when he finds out his daughter was making out with his patient. Meanwhile, a cold look is exchanged between Amy and Humpty and Dumpty. Lauren realizes she lost her friend.

Molly calls a distraughtt Amy from a Chicago hotel bar. Amy ends the conversation quickly so Molly calls Amy's Dad. She yells at him for convincing Amy to go back to her old school, but Amy's Dad quickly hangs up. Meanwhile, Grace finds a beat up Ben.

And it's a meeting of the exes in the school office! Both Amy's Dad and Josie Bisset are there. Josie because Grace was being interrogated by the police, Amy's Dad because Amy wants to go home. They argue and each remembers why they aren't married anymore. However, it's quite interesting to watch these two. But as Amy's Dad convinces Josie he's back home with his wife who he LOVES, the exes club gets bigger. Adrian's mom AKA the woman Amy's Dad cheated on Molly with walks in to speak with the guidance counselor. She is shocked to learn that Amy's Dad was married before and she isn't the first person he's broken the Sixth Commandment with (Note: I'm going by the Catholic Ten Commandments. I'm talking about "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery." Insert the proper number for your commandments). After Adrian's mom leaves, Josie drops a bombshell--SHE cheated on Amy's Dad. Whoa. Didn't see that one coming. Maybe Amy's Dad isn't as sleazy as we all thought. Anyway, he tries to cover as Grace leaves the office, but you know she heard. Especially since she blows off her mom. Josie leaves as Ricky's Therapist comes in. He asks for Ricky and Amy's Dad introduces himself so he can ask how the guy knows Ricky. The Therapist says he's Lauren's dad and we learn Lauren's mom is remarried. The Therapist tells Ricky to show up for their session and Amy's Dad looks like he needs my chart on who knows who in this show.

We jump to more yelling in Spanish as Adrian has it out with her mother. The counselor is stuck in the middle but unlike Ricky, he can speak Spanish. He gets the situation under control. Adrian's mom admits she purposefully got pregnant with Adrian so she would have someone to love and who would love her. She pushed away Adrian's dad because she felt guilty for it and didn't want to trap a man in a loveless-marriage. But it seems that Adrian doesn't love her mother either so Mom figures she'll be better off with Dad--and by that, away from Ricky.

Jack visits with Grace, who sees if he's willing to get back together. Apparently, his and Alice's act was just to make Grace and Henry jealous. Grace wisely points out this isn't a good basis for a relationship, but Jack argues that if she was jealous then there were still some feelings. Grace asks if Jack's willing to wear a chastity ring for her. He seems hesitant but agrees. Grace realizes this and notes that their problems began when she started wearing hers. She takes it off and Jack thinks, "SCORE!" But she says it's because she's not tempted by Jack anymore. He leaves as Tom walks in. He's appalled when he hears Grace talking about Ricky and losing her virginity to him. But she keeps insisting it will be after they're married. Because Ricky is SO the marrying type.

Henry and Alice seemed to have reconciled with some traumatizing sex. I mean, they look like they just saw a horror film. They talk, where Henry tries to win Alice back, but she's afraid they're already the boring, old couple who have been together a bazillion years and can't surprise each other anymore. Henry sees this and the two agree to remain friends, but glad their first times were with each other. They cuddle.

Ricky shows up to the therapist, who lets him have it. Ricky swears he's not going after Lauren because he's in love with Grace. The Therapist looks incredulous and says that maybe he can't help Ricky after all. Aww. Ricky meets up with Adrian, who tells him she isn't living with her mom or her dad. She's going to run away--with him. He declines.

Amy visits a recovering Ben and his dad, the Sausage King. The King continues to convince Amy that she should go to school. That she shouldn't run away, especially since she has people who love her and will support her. She and Ben hold hands. Meanwhile, Dad tries to call a truce with both Molly and Ashley. Molly hangs up on him as an old friend surprises her and Ashley refuses to eat the lasagna he made. And good thing as even he doesn't like it.

The next day, Amy and Ben walk into school together. Grace welcomes them and tells Amy that this is her school as well. She says that since Amy and Ben don't have a matching schedule, her friends will walk her to class. Amy wonders who those friends are, but it's revealed to be Grace, Madison, Lauren, Alice and the marching band. Who plays while Amy walks to class. I kid you not. Ben gets his own bodyguards with Henry and the more likely to succeed Jack as they share looks with Ricky. Fade out.

Next week's the finale, just in time for premiere season!