Rumors, Therapy and the Chords of Meaningfulness

The episode opens in the school as the rumor goes around about Adrian and Mr. Molina not being in school. Ricky and Amy have a confrontation where he drops hints he’s been with her friend Lauren. She marches off to confront Lauren who says, “At least I know how to say no.” Way to be supportive. Amy wants to storm off with Madison, who is then fought over by her two best friends. She yells that they shouldn’t stop being friends due to a mental patient. And rumor #2 is started: Ricky is a psycho.

Ben goes into Mr. Molina’s office, but there is a kid in there selling student reports. Meanwhile, Jack confronts Grace about her relationship with Ricky and the fact she is no longer wearing her promise ring. He then confronts Ricky. Meanwhile, Henry tries to pretend his first time was great but Ben reveals Alice already told him it was horrible. Henry and Alice argue and she yells that they will try it again until they get it right. Henry walks off as Alice asks Ben if he and Amy have done it yet. He says no.

Grace and Ricky talk about being crazy and being in therapy. Ricky lies that it’s about Amy and the baby, once again painting himself as a victim. And they remind us of rumor #1: Adrian ran off with Mr. Molina. Grace admits she’s attracted to Ricky and wants to go out with him. Grace, Grace, stay away! Please…The bell rings as they longingly walk away from each other. Ricky promptly goes and hits on some random extra named “Shauna.”

Adrian is seen driving her little red convertible around a curve and commercial. It’s good to note, she’s alone.

Now Jack is writing his record. He’s quite upset that Molina wrote that Jack was “emotionally immature.” The kid tells him he has to stop being so hung up on Grace as Adrian’s dad walks in. The kid informs him of Rumor #1 and when Adrian’s dad says he’s part of the police, the kid books it. Madison walks in and admits “I have a problem keeping my mouth shut.” She then rambling recaps the entire season to Adrian’s dad, including telling him his daughter is the school slut. When she takes a breath, he tells her who he is and Madison tries to backpedal, including telling him Adrian is very smart. This seems to surprise Dad.

Jack and Madison talk, with everyone now questioning if they need therapy. Grace is called in to talk with Adrian’s Dad. She fills us in on some of her story lines. Grace goes on about how horrible it was for him not to have contacted Adrian for 16 years but Adrian’s Dad is trying to steer the conversation back to Adrian. Turns out Adrian doesn’t return Grace’s phone calls. Next comes “Crazy” Ricky, who swears he doesn’t know where Adrian is.

Meanwhile, Adrian is stopped as a highway patrolman calls her dad. Dad sends Ricky on his merry way and he warns Adrian. Patrolman is trying to figure out a way to hold him as the kid comes in and points out she can be held for truancy. Commercial.

Back at school, Lauren tries to make amends with Amy. Amy gets mad that Lauren thinks she’s smarter than everybody else. She says she doesn’t want to feel stupid, particularly with the pregnancy. Lauren says she misses Amy and then drops the bombshell about Ricky being sexually abused. This shocks Amy, but Lauren keeps going on about how she thought it would make her special. But it didn’t. Amy promises not to tell anyone and Lauren tells her she is lucky to have met the love of her life at 15. Lauren accurately pegs Ricky as someone who needs someone to pity him. Which he works on Grace. By the way, what do you think Grace needed therapy for? Ricky notes Grace isn’t wearing her ring and you know he’s thinking, “SCORE!”

Adrian storms down the hallway, muttering in Spanish. She tells her father she hates him, but he isn’t too upset. She says he can’t run her life, but he says he can. Starting with enrolling her in a new, all-girls private school and taking away her keys. Dad says he’s concerned about Adrian and once again tells her not to see Ricky. She thinks because she has her period and has (protected) sex, it means she doesn’t need parents. Dad accurately realizes it means she does and he has big dreams for her. They have a father-daughter moment, complete with the chords of meaningfulness.

Grace goes to visit Adrian, to talk to about her and Ricky. She asks how Adrian would feel if the two started dating. “Betrayed.” Adrian says she can’t be her friend and sleep with Ricky. Grace doesn’t think she has to risk her friendship nor will she be sleeping with Ricky. Adrian tries to wake Grace up to Ricky’s true nature and gives her condoms, telling her not to end up like Amy Jurgens.

Cut to Amy and Ben researching about kids who were sexually abused. Way to keep your promise, Amy. They discuss Ricky and if he could ever be “fixed.” And then Amy says, “I guess we can have sex if you want.” This seems to throw Ben off. And their sex talk needs help. They decide to wait to have sex until they are older and can enjoy it more. Bravo! This goes to Ashley reading Amy’s book of poetry to her father, saying she’s sure Amy and Ben aren’t having sex. Dad decides to have the sex talk, but Ashley cuts him off. So he decides to tell her about the day she was born. It’s a sweet story that is complete with the chords of meaningfulness from Adrian and her dad’s conversation.

We cut to Grace’s kitchen where she and Ricky are cooking, though Ricky is more interested in getting with Grace. Tom reveals that Grace gave him $20 to stay out of the kitchen despite the fact that John Schneider paid him $40 to stay down there. Tom says he’s closer to Jennifer Coolidge time. John Schneider tries to convince Tom he shouldn’t see his prostitute friend. Tom reveals that Grace told him that John and Josie Bisset cheated on Amy’s Dad. John seems surprised. Meanwhile, Ricky is sucking Grace’s fingers when they are interrupted by Josie.

And Henry and Alice are still having bad sex. Give it up, guys!

Molly Ringwald finally returns from Chicago and talks to her husband on the couch. He wonders where she’s been looking so nice. She tells him she met an old friend and he accuses her of having an affair. Pot, meet kettle. They discuss the status of their relationship and Amy’s Dad reveals Ashley was conceived in a graveyard. I have to agree with Molly here, it does explain a lot. Molly says she doesn’t want to be married to Amy’s Dad anymore. The poor guy looks utterly despondent as the chords of meaningfulness play us out.

And that’s it! More episodes to follow in January 2009. According to Wikipedia, the episode title is “The Secret Wedding of the American Teenager.” So do you think Amy and Ben finally tie the knot or will it be another couple entirely?