Champagne Wishes and Caviar Dreams

In her latest weekend escape, Sam goes clear across the country to Los Angeles. She gets picked up by a helicopter at the airport and is given an air tour of LA. Complete of course with a glass of champagne. Not complete, however, with a Robin Leach voiceover. If helicopters didn’t give me the heebie-jeebies, I’d be jealous. This episode’s theme is “Get Sam into the movie business” apparently as she goes to take a class in stage fighting. She rocks the Rocky portion of the class and can hold her own with the Errol Flynn portion.

After a work out, she joins a bunch of people with lawn chairs and pillows…going into a cemetery. It’s Hollywood Forever, the resting place of many of Tinsel Town’s big names. Sam breaks down at Mel Blanc’s grave, mourning for the characters of our youth. But the reason everyone brought the chairs and pillows? They screen a movie on the back of a mausoleum. Now that is cool. I can’t see my sister complaining about us visiting a graveyard if there was a movie to be seen.

After the movie, Sam decides to take some lessons with fire throwers. She practices and reveals she used to work a mean baton. But in a major accomplishment, manages not to singe herself and safely makes it for drinks. It looks like she’s in a hotel bar, but it’s nice and quiet. She meets up with a fellow travel host who lives out in LA and they discuss the difference between the East and West Coasts. The friend comments how in LA, you can go to the local Starbucks and have a conversation with the barista. “You’d be shot in New York,” she says. Yes, yes, you would. And you’re lucky I don’t like coffee or else I’d be holding the gun.

You know what, I love the Surfing Rabbi. That congregation must be very popular. “My rabbi surfs! What does your rabbi do?” He gives Sam surfing instructions as “Hava Nagila” plays in the background. She wipes out a lot, but I’d daresay I would be any better. Nor am I surprised because I love her cruise specials and she didn’t take to the surfing machine on that either.

Two weeks ago I’d never heard of the Magic Castle. Now, it’s been on my television within the past two weeks—first Tyra sent the model-wannabes there to meet the judges, now Sam is getting a tour. She is introduced to a piano that plays itself and plays “Alexander’s Ragtime Band.” She goes to a few magic shows, even letting one use her ring for a trip. I hope it wasn’t her wedding band!

At the end, Sam travels back to the airport via helicopter. Actually, you know, I’ve sat in LA traffic. I think that may have been the smart way to travel.

Of course, I went to LA when I was five. My dad was working for ABC at the time and they sent him out to do some work in the LA bureau. So my mom booked the two of us tickets on a flight there and planned a trip to Disneyland. My mother loves to tell the story of all the businessmen who boarded the flight, took one look at me, and groaned. Who wants to be trapped on a five hour flight with a kindergartener? But I’ve always been the quiet child and I had homework to do—my Hickory Dickery Dock book wouldn’t fill itself, you know—so the suits kept coming up to make sure I was still on the flight. Unfortunately, I was victim to the pressure change that affects small children. The pain, I remember. The suits kept trying to help me as we landed.

In LA, we stayed in the Plaza Hotel and I knew we had made it. My mother still laughs at the sight of five-years-old me standing there, waiting for the doorman to open the door for me. We checked in, went to the room and I had no problem ordering room service as my mom caught a nap. I must say, I’ve always been the independent sort. The next day we drove to Anaheim, which in theory isn’t that far a drive. But we sat. And we sat. And we sat so long that by the time we checked into the Ramada (Type F on the Disneyland Chart), it was time to get back in the car to pick up my dad from work. “He can take the bus,” I told my mom.

We went and picked him up. Our Disneyland trip started! Naturally, I remember Disneyland more than I remember LA. Across the street from our hotel was Space Mountain, clearly visible from our room. It was also a memorable trip because I was finally 48 inches tall—I could finally go on the roller coasters! Space Mountain, Thunder Mountain, the Matterhorn—here I come! It was such a great trip. I wish we could go back there someday. My sister was born the following September and has never been there.

Anyone up for a trip to Disneyland?