OUAT: There is Suffering Too Terrible to Name

That’s right. I’m using Hamilton lyrics. And if you know Hamilton, you know those lyrics are from one of the most heart-breaking songs in the show.

You have been warned.

Last time on “Once:” Hades rescued Zelena from Rumple and Pan and they shared True Love’s Kiss. He took everyone’s names off the tombstones but Hook was still unable to leave the Underworld. Hades told them of a nectar Hook could eat and it would allow him to leave. Emma and Hook headed down to where the tree was while the others waited.

After convincing Robin to let Zelena take his daughter with Hades, he then stood with her and Henry as Henry wrote pages for the denizens of the Underworld. Cruella and the Blind Witch trapped them in the library and the heroes realized Hades was really behind it.

Further down, Emma weighed her heart but it appeared she and Hook did not share True Love. But when each chose the other over saving themselves, a door opened and their love was confirmed to be true. They discovered, though, that the ambrosia tree was cut down and realized Hades did it.

In the past, Emma met a bails bond person named Cleo, who tried to take Emma back to Phoenix. Emma discovered that there might be information about her and her parents so Cleo agreed to take her to the courthouse. Unsatisfied with what she found, Emma broke back in and Cleo had to come after her. They ended up running from the cops and Cleo was fatally wounded in the process. Emma ran off and changed her life, becoming a bails bond person. She also gave some closure to the daughter Cleo gave up for adoption.

As the portal to Storybrooke opened, Emma and Hook came to grips with the fact he could not return home. They had a bittersweet goodbye before Emma returned to help the others bust out of the library. They all made it into the portal as Rumple sent his father to the River o’ Souls, having returned Robin’s heart without Pan knowing.

Brace yourself. This is going to be painful.

And ranty.


We open by a waterfall I didn’t know Storybrooke had. It’s beautiful but random. Zelena is still concerned that she hasn’t found Regina. She also is worried that people won’t believe her that Hades has changed. He suggests she leave Peanut with him for safekeeping and she can go tell the others that he’s good. Because people are going to believe the Wicked Witch of the West. Right.

(Questionable parenting decision--leaving your child with the God of Death)

Once Zelena is gone, Hades hears someone shouting in the woods. King Douche himself, Arthur, appears. It seems he escaped the jail and is looking for someone to be indignant with him. 

(A wild doouchebag appears)

Unfortunately, he finds Hades instead. Sensing competition for “conquering Storybrooke,” Hades kills Arthur instead.

Well, that was quick.

Merida lays into Sleepy for falling asleep while on guard duty but Snow’s like “His name is Sleepy for a reason.” He apologizes and Snow says they’ll figure it out. As she rocks a fussy Neal, she says she hopes that their family comes home soon. David opens the door and asks if it’s soon enough. They have a reunion that’s tempered with sadness when Emma reveals they were unable to get Hook out of the Underworld.

(Family reunion!)

Now, there was supposed to be a scene where Robin was reunited with his Merry Men and Roland now that he is back from the Underworld. Roland was supposed to ask about his sister and probably just be adorable all around while Regina watched the scene. But this was cut for some reason and that’s a damn shame.

Anyway, Zelena runs up to Regina and Robin and says she’s glad they made it back. They’re like “No thanks to Hades.” Robin asks where his daughter is and Zelena’s like “Our daughter is with my true love.” Robin looks ready to crawl out of his skin while Regina tries to explain that Hades tricked them and nearly trapped them down in the Underworld. Zelena refuses to believe that and she asks what Regina is going to do. Regina replies that she and Robin will do whatever they have to do to keep Peanut and the town safe. Zelena snarls at them and then disappears while Outlaw Queen remains resolute.

(*Starts crying*)

Down in the Underworld, Arthur arrives at Granny’s. He looks around and tries to figure out what’s going on. Hook arrives and is like “Hell no.” Arthur has the same reaction upon seeing him and demands to know what he’s done. Hook says he hasn’t done anything—he’s dead, just like Arthur is. Arthur struggles to accept it but Hook gets him there. They are now dead together and Hook is not happy to know that Hades is in Storybrooke, where he can hurt Emma and their friends. So he recruits Arthur in helping him find a way to help Emma defeat Hades once and for all. Arthur agrees, I guess because he has nothing better to do now that he’s dead.

(That is the man realizing he is not on Punk'd)

Speaking of Emma, she has found Arthur’s body along with David and Merida. They realize Hades must’ve done it and Emma decides to make him pay. David stops her, thinking that maybe she’s not thinking rationally. Emma insists she is but her father thinks she needs to grieve. Because that’s what normal people do. She isn’t sure how to do that.

("Anyone care he's dead? No? Fantastic, let's roll him into the water and be done with it.")

In Regina’s office, Zelena rants about her sister and Robin. Hades says they have to protect themselves if they want to take over Storybrooke. Zelena’s like “We want to do what?” And he sweet talks her into not realizing that he’s EVIL and up to something. I mean, come on, Zelena. You’re smarter than this. I think. Anyway, he reveals that he took a weapon that Zeus broke because he didn’t want Hades to have it—the Olympus Crystal. But now that Hades had his heart beating again, he can put it back together.

Methinks we’ve discovered why Zeus stopped his brother’s heart and banished him.

(*Hisses*)

Outside Town Hall, our heroes have discovered Zelena has put up a protection spell. Emma wants to charge in but Robin says it’s his daughter in there. Regina is also concerned about her friend’s mental state. So they decide to go in and tell Emma to wait outside.

(But I'm the hero)

Regina and Robin wander through a corridor under town hall. She apologizes to him for convincing him to trust Zelena with Peanut. He accepts…but then she goes on about how Zelena deserves a second chance. Robin stops and explodes, no doubt everything he’s been holding in all season bubbling to the top. He says he’s not going to listen to her defend the woman who violated him and stole his daughter, going on ahead of her. Regina hurries to catch up.

(*Cries*)

At Moe French’s floral shop, he’s annoyed to be visited by his son-in-law. Rumple tells him about what Belle did and even Moe’s like “Good for her.” He refuses to kiss his daughter if it means she’s going back to Rumple, though. Rumple bangs his cane around, threatening to use it on Moe. The older man is all for it and continues to refuse to kiss his daughter. I’m…I’m not entire sure how he thinks she’ll change her mind under a sleeping curse and that waking her up to convince her would be better. After everything in the Underworld, she’d probably be easy to convince. But Emilie is on maternity leave, so yeah…

(Hi, Moe!)

Anyway, Emma intervenes and asks for Rumple’s help in destroying Hades. But he’s not really helpful at all. Of course.

Hook and Arthur break into Hades’ lair and go through his items. Though Hook finds the book, the missing pages are still gone. He wonders where they would be and Arthur wonders why Hook cares so much. Hook says that he promised Emma he would move on but he can’t if she’s still in danger. So if he can help her defeat Hades, then he can move on.

Arthur may be a douche and may have done wrong by Guinevere, but he does understand love. He also understands how a king might think. He explains that he would hide his valuables somewhere no one else would think to look. After examining Hades’ chair, he finds a secret lever that reveals a secret compartment. Inside are the missing pages. Hook takes them and says they need to get them to Emma.

(Ta da!)

Hook and Arthur return to the diner. The Blind Witch makes a few comments but they ignore her, heading over to Cruella. Hook asks her where she put the phone that connects to the Overworld and if it can still work. Cruella reveals she destroyed it because if she can’t go back, no one else she be able to communicate with the others. Hook is ready to kill her, certain his only chance to get in touch with Emma is gone. She then reveals information about the storybook she also hid and Hook knows he has to retrieve it.

(Hi, Cruella!)

Emma enters the library. David, Snow and Henry are in there going through books. They still want her to take time and mourn Hook, but she wants to keep working. So they give her some books and encourage her to help them find a way to defeat Hades.

In the mayor’s office, Hades is very close to putting the Olympus Crystal together. And he’s still playing Zelena like a fiddle. Come on, Zelena. See the truth. He wants to destroy everyone and take over the world. He’s a Cliché Bad Guy.

(I also prayed that he wouldn’t put the crystal together but it was not to be. Sob).

The phone rings and Hades picks up. Rumple is on the other side and wants to make a deal. All he wants is a piece of the Olympus Crystal and he’ll leave Hades alone. Hades decides to turn down the deal and continue playing the game.

(Maybe it'll be the killer from Scream?)

Robin and Regina continue their trek through the underground corridors. She points to a door that will lead to her office. Robin says that Zelena does deserve a second chance but Regina argues that he doesn’t have to agree with her. He says that being with her has taught him that anyone can redeem themselves so they need to extend the chance to Zelena. Robin tells her that while their past has made them who they are, it’s the future that matters. He calls Regina his future and they share a kiss.
Remember how I said I was going to get ranty? Yeah, I’m going to start now. Either scroll on or get popcorn.

This scene is beautiful but it also pisses me off. I’m sure you’re confused as it deals with my ship. How would a scene between my ship piss me off? Because we were in an Outlaw Queen drought for most of Season B, especially during this arc. They had a kiss back in Episode 13 and then Robin pretty much disappeared. We got nothing. But this scene shows that if the writers really applied themselves, we could’ve gotten great OQ scenes to rival CS or Rumbelle or Snowing.

For starters, this scene parallels one of Robin and Regina’s earlier scenes—when they broke into Regina’s palace to undo Zelena’s protection spell. During that episode, Robin tried to convince Regina that she deserved a second chance and now he’s talking about giving Zelena a second chance because of what he learned with Regina. As always, we see Robin being completely accepting of her and her past and embracing it. This is Outlaw Queen. This is what we should’ve been getting all along, even if not in every episode.

After the kiss, Regina asks him what their plan is and calls him “thief.” The writers really are trying to kill us. He says that he usually doesn’t go in without an escape plan but its his daughter at stake. And even though I was spoiled, I knew what was going to happen to Robin, I still hoped I was wrong. But this line sealed it for me. I knew he wasn’t going to make it out. Robin gives Regina the chance to back out but she promises to stay with him, always. They go to rescue Peanut.

God, it’s not fair!

In the underworld, Hook and Arthur take the River o’ Souls Boat Ride, the most depressing cruise to ever sail the seven seas. Hook warns Arthur to keep his hands and arms inside the boat at all times or else he’ll end up trapped in the river forever. Arthur’s like “That sounds like something I should’ve been told before I got in the boat.”

(A river that can kill me even though I'm dead. Wonderful)

They make it ashore and Hook leaves Arthur in charge of the boat while he goes to retrieve the book from the gargoyle holding it. As Arthur stands there, one of the souls from the river rises up and tries to pull him in. He tries to fight back, drawing Hook’s attention. Though Arthur told Hook to not worry about him, Hook comes down and uses a torch to blast the soul.

Arthur asks why Hook didn’t warn him the souls could do that and Hook says they usual don’t. He thinks the rules are changing now that Hades is gone. They then watch as another soul rises up and takes the book. Arthur asks Hook for the torch and he sends the soul up in flames. The book starts falling toward the river but Hook catches it. Yay, Hook!

(Nice catch!)

As Hook restores the pages to the book, Arthur asks how one exactly kills a god. Hook says with something called and Olympian crystal. He hopes it gets to Emma and she’s able to find one in time.
Emma goes through books in the library, coming across Henry’s storybook. She opens it and comes to the page from the Season 3 finale, of her and Hook dancing at Midas’ ball. It makes her teary-eyed for him but she pushes it aside, closing the book to move on.

But the book fills with pages and starts to shake. It turns toward Emma and opens up. She gets the hint, picking it up and finding the new pages inside. Emma grows determined and leaves.

(You'd think Emma would be used to things like this by now)

At Town Hall, the Olympian Crystal is at full power. Zelena is still having doubts and Hades continues to play with her head. Robin and Regina sneak around, trying to find a way to get inside the office and get to Peanut. They are given a break when Emma starts to attack the protection spell, determined to get inside. Hades and Zelena separate—she goes to deal with Emma while he makes sure no one else sneaks into the building. Regina hides with Robin as they watch the two leave.

(Outlaw Queen forever!)

Outside, Zelena and Emma fight. Emma tries to get Zelena to see the truth—that Hades is playing her and that he wants to destroy them all. Zelena refuses and continues to kick the Savior’s butt with her magic. But Emma hands her the missing pages from the Underworld, forcing Zelena to see the truth—though she has trouble processing it.

(It's all there in black and white)

Oh god. Here we go. I’m not looking forward to recapping this scene. This is going to be painful…

Robin and Regina enter the empty office. He picks up Peanut, assuring her that Daddy is there. That’s lovely, now get the frick out of there! Please! Of course, they can’t hear me. Instead, they are caught by Hades and his Olympian Crystal. He reveals that the crystal doesn’t just kill you. Oh no. It kills you and then obliterates your soul. You pretty much cease to exist. And he’s going to use it on Regina, getting her out of Zelena’s way. Robin pleads with Hades to use it on him, to let Regina go. But Hades won’t be swayed. He aims the crystal and fires.

Robin steps in front of Regina and takes it for her.

He gasps as the blue light is absorbed into his chest before he turns around. Robin gazes on Regina before his body crumples to the floor, lifeless. His soul hovers for a few seconds, reaching out to her before it disintegrates into nothing. All the while, a tearful Regina has to watch another man she loves die in front of her.

(*Sobs uncontrollably*)

The scene was beautifully shot. It was done in tight close ups of Robin and Regina, so that they were the only ones seen. And it was almost like we were seeing what they could see—Robin’s soul, Regina’s tearful face. Bravo to the director for this.

But the writers—no, just no. It just seemed like a slap in the face to Robin Hood, to Sean Maguire and to the fans that Robin died this way. After an entire arc of souls moving on—of the main characters trying to rescue Hook—Robin doesn’t even get that. His soul just blows away. It does little to leave the door open for a possible return and it seems to fly in the face of what the show is supposed to be about—hope. There is no hope for him and Regina is once again without romantic love.

Screw you, writers!

Regina sinks to her knees and has to face Robin’s dead body. She glances up at Hades with a familiar hard look that harkens back to The Stable Boy and the look she gave Cora after Daniel’s death. Early shades of the Evil Queen. And right now, I’m all for her going Evil Queen on him.

Zelena enters, brandishing the pages Emma gave her. She finds her sister threatening Hades, Robin dead on the floor and Hades wielding the Olympian Crystal. He tries to spin it in his favor while Regina tries to get through to her sister about how dangerous Hades is. Zelena clings to the fact that he loves her. But Regina points out that Robin had true love, sacrificing everything to keep her safe.

When Hades continues to threaten Regina, Zelena sees the truth. She takes the Olympian Crystal and impales him with it. He disintegrates into a pile of ash, a piece of crystal resting on top of it. Of course, no one grabs it. But there is other things to work about this time.

Namely, ROBIN IS STILL FREAKING DEAD!

(Good riddance, Hades)

Regina clutches his body, crying and caressing his face. Zelena inserts herself and Regina lets go of her soulmate. She clutches onto her sister as they cry together and the fandom sits in shock and anger over Robin’s death.

(I'd appreciate this moment more if I wasn't convinced OQ was killed so this relationship could move further)

Down in the Underworld, Arthur and Hook wonder if it worked. When a bright light appears behind them, Hook realizes that Emma got the pages and was able to destroy Hades. He asks Arthur if he’s coming into the light but Arthur declines. The king notes that Merlin predicted he would rule over a broken kingdom. For a long time, he thought it was supposed to be Camelot. Now, though, he realizes it’s the Underworld. He thinks he’s the one who will help guide the denizens of the Underworld deal with their unfinished business and move on. It’ll make up for how horrible a king he was in life.

So does this mean that Guinevere is free? Or is she still under the magical sand? Someone? You took Robin and Outlaw Queen from me. You can at least assure me that my Save Guin 2k16 campaign is successful.

(Also, King Douche gets redeemed and Robin just stops existing? BOO! BOO!)

(Head towards the light!)

Anyway, Hook walks into the light and is greeted by a young man. I mean, seriously, he doesn’t look much older than Hercules. And we learn this is Zeus. Immortality, I guess. Zeus thanks Hook for his help in defeating Hades, who was out of control. So he’s rewarding Hook and tells him to walk through the CGI hall of Grecian columns to it.

(Zeus!)

We go to Emma standing in front of Hook’s grave. Flowers still cover it but she tosses down a flask, saying it felt more appropriate. She tells him that they defeated Hades and thanks him. Then she bids him a farewell and finally grieves for him.

Elsewhere in the cemetery, a small crowd gathers in the rain to bury Robin. Regina stands there, staring at the coffin holding her soulmate as the others place roses tied to arrows on it. Including tiny Roland, now an orphan. Oh god, I want to hug him! 

(Poor child)

Zelena steps up and Regina notes that he never got to name his daughter. Zelena says that there’s only one name she can choose—Robin. Regina approves.

The crowd disperses, heading back to Granny’s. Emma decides to stay behind. It is there that she is reunited with Hook, who was given another chance at life by Zeus. Hey, Zeus, what about Robin? Doesn’t he deserve a second chance? He played a role in taking down Hades and sacrificed himself for love. Doesn’t that warrant a resurrection?

And then the ultimate “What were the writers and director thinking?” moment—Captain Swan makes out FEET FROM ROBIN’S COFFIN. It’s not even in the ground and IS IN THE SHOT MOST OF THE TIME! I mean, come on. I don’t blame Captain Swan nor their fans. This was a half season in the making and they deserved their moment. Both even they agreed that this was not the place for it. At Hook’s grave, maybe. But not Robin’s. It’s like a slap to Robin, Sean and Hoodies/OQers. And it made it a bit dangerous for CSers in the fandom for a week.

What a boneheaded decision.

Let’s just end this ordeal. Someone walks through town hall and retrieves the piece of the Olympian Crystal not turned to dust along with Hades. Of course, it’s Rumple. And of course, he’s up to no good.

Shocker.

I think I’ve said everything I’ve had to about this episode. And just for those wondering—yes, Robin’s death is permanent. Sean confirmed in multiple interviews the following Monday that he has been released from his contract and is no longer on the show. There are campaigns in the fandom to bring him and Robin back, but it’s doubtful he’ll agree to that. He’s pretty burned from the whole experience and rightfully so.

But we’re still trying, hoping to bring back our beloved Outlaw.

Next time: All hell breaks loose. On the show this time, not amongst the fans. 

Screen caps from here.