OUAT: A Scottish Adventure

Last time on “Once:” Hook pursued Emma to get some answers and she finally let him in. Unfortunately, his answers were that Emma was doing everything because she turned Hook into a Dark One while in Camelot in order to save his life. So she accelerated Zelena’s pregnancy, causing her to give birth. She then kidnapped the witch and was going to put all the darkness into her before killing her. But Zelena was freed and Hook was not pleased to be a Dark One.

Uh oh.

And now for something completely different…

We open in Camelot, where Zelena and Arthur return to the palace. He seems mad that Zelena poofed them out of there even though he asked her to. This guy is just crazy. Zelena pointed out that she saved him because he wasn’t going to make it against the heroes. They need to think of something else. Arthur has an idea.

(Aww, is someone sulking?)

We go to Dun Broch where Merida leaves flowers on her father’s grave. She has a brief conversation before her mother interrupts. Well, she’s no Emma Thompson but this Queen Elinor is good enough. She tells Merida that it’s time to for her coronation.

(Mother and daughter)

We then cut to several years earlier, though we’re still in Dun Broch. I’m not sure why the title cards felt the need to tell us that. Anyway, it’s a dark and foggy night as a large form walks along a road. Did Hagrid get lost on his way to Hogwarts?

No, it’s Fergus! He goes to visit the witch and asks her for help. She’s willing to do so. Fergus needs something that will help him defeat the invaders coming into Dun Broch. The witch throws a bunch of things into her cauldron and then poofs up a helm for him to wear. Fergus thanks her and promises her money in return.

(Hello, Plot Point!)

Back in the present, Merida sits on her throne as the clans assemble. The chief douche of the three douches presents her with her crown, which probably kills him a bit on the inside. Queen Elinor takes it and goes to place it on her daughter’s head, proclaiming her the rightful queen of Dun Broch.

However, someone interrupts the coronation. It’s the witch and it’s not as epic as the Evil Queen barging in on Snowing’s wedding. She says that King Fergus got a magical helm off her and owes her payment. Merida asks about how much and the witch says 10,000 gold coins. Which apparently is more than the clans have. So the Witch says she wants the helm back in a couple days time or she’ll curse Dun Broch. And she says, maybe Merida will prove herself to be the leader Fergus wasn’t.

(She does look like the Witch from the movie)

Queen Elinor frantically paces the room as she and Merida discuss what the witch said. Merida says she knows the helm the witch is talking about, that Fergus wore it into battle and was wearing it when he died. So Elinor tells her to go get it but Merida says the knight who killed Fergus took it. She has to find him.

(This is a nice shot)

Elinor though is against it. She thinks its too dangerous and can’t bear to lose her daughter to the same person who killed her husband. But Merida says she has to do it if she wants to be queen. They really have no choice. So Elinor reluctantly lets her go, giving her a bow for protection.

We cut to a few years earlier. Fergus brings Merida around their army’s encampment as the three douches make a comment about not following a woman into battle. Fergus rounds on them but she insists she can fight her own battles. That no one will respect her unless she does so. And can we take a moment to admire Merida’s war outfit:

Fergus tries to tell his daughter about how serious it is on the battlefield. She doesn’t believe him as she sees the men writing and assumes they’re love letters. When her father tells her they are wills, she understands that the men don’t expect to live. The severity of the situation starts to hit her.

He gives her a bow, telling her it was the first one he carried into battle. Now, he would be honored for her to use it for her first battle. He also got her a tutor to help train her for that battle. Merida says she doesn’t need some man to teach her what to do. Grabbing a sword, she goes after the man. He easily knocks her on her ass before removing his helmet to reveal…

Mulan! She says that Merida has a lot to learn and Mulan hopes she’ll let her teach her. Mulan tells Merida that she’ll teach her to fight with honor, which is very important.

We cut to Mulan in the present day. She is threatening some big men in a pub, who aren’t really taking her seriously. She bests one and asks which hand he wants to lose. Mulan, what happened to you? Why are you so mean now?

Merida wants to know why now and wants to know where Mulan’s honor is. She’s like “Honor doesn’t pay the bills” and lays into Merida for making her lose the money she could’ve gotten off the brutes. Merida has a task for her, to help her find the man who had killed Fergus. Though reluctant, Mulan agrees—as long as Merida doesn’t ask any questions about her past.

Meanwhile, Arthur and Zelena arrive in Dun Broch. They manage to get right in front of the witch’s cabin and Arthur heads right in to talk to her. Zelena, though, doesn’t look so convinced:

Arthur goes into the witch’s cabin and is almost torn apart by a wolf. Zelena tosses a potion at the wolf, putting it asleep. The witch is like “Really? I would’ve just called it off.” Arthur asks her about the helm and she’s like “Yeah, I lost it. I have someone looking to get it back. She’ll probably succeed too.” So Arthur and Zelena decide to go looking for it and try to beat Merida to it.

(Zelena's like "But I can just squash her!")

Merida and Mulan return to the battlefield and look for clues. Merida finds an arrow she recognizes as her own and knows it’s the one that missed the knight. Mulan is still giving Grumpy a run for his money so Merida asks her about what happened. Mulan reminds her of her condition but Merida says they’re friends so she’s going to ignore that. She wants to help her friend, the one who helped her.

We cut back to Merida and Mulan training for the battle. The Three McDouches show up to tease her and Merida is ready to pop them. 

(Behold! The Three McDouches)

Mulan holds her back and says the best way to earn their respect is to show them that she can fight. Chief McDouche says Merida will never be a real leader and shows her one—her father. Merida watches as Fergus wears the helm and rallies his men to him.

As Merida and Mulan have some tense silence, Arthur and Zelena show up and demand the helm. Merida says she doesn’t have it and she’s trying to find it. Zelena takes her bow and says that it was used by someone who had the helm (Fergus) so they can use it for a tracking spell. Merida pleads for it back and wants to know what’s so special about this helm. Arthur reveals that whoever wears it can make people fight for them. Merida doesn’t believe her father would need it but Arthur is like “Them’s the breaks. Greenie, take us out.”

(Zelena is so smug)

Zelena poofs them out and now Mulan has to talk Merida down. She says that Arthur must be lying and that of course her father wouldn’t do that. Merida, though, needs answers and she rides away. Mulan looks forlorn.

We cut to a scene where Merida goes to talk to her father before the battle. She talks to him about the men are inspired by him and how she hopes to be like him. He is holding the helm and looks really guilty. He and Merida talk a bit more before she lets him go back to staring at the lake.

(Oh look. The plot point again)

Mulan goes to visit the witch but her cottage is empty. However, she senses a presence and the wolf comes after her. Mulan isn’t scared, saying that the wolf isn’t really a wolf. She throws some potion left out at the wolf as it leaps at her. The cloud of magic dies down to reveal…

Red!

She explains that the witch had her under a thrall and she thanks Mulan for rescuing her. My question is…If this is after the events of “The Bear and the Bow,” why wasn’t Red there when Merida and Belle showed up? Why didn’t Red try to communicate with Belle, who was her friend?

Bueller?

Anyway, they realize they have some friends in common and decide to stick together. Red realizes Mulan knows Aurora and she tells her that she had a baby boy. Mulan tries to be happy and Red can tell there was something wrong. But Mulan doesn’t want to talk about it. Instead, she asks how Red got back to the Enchanted Forest.

Good question.

We return to the Season 3 finale. Quick, someone unmask Marilena and save us from all the angst of Season 4 and this ridiculous baby storyline. Anyway, Mary Margaret announces that her son’s name is Neal and everyone claps. She then excuses herself and goes to speak with Ruby in the hallway at Granny’s.

So what was Ruby doing during Season 3? She was helping Tiny try to cultivate and grow more magic beans. It didn’t go so well except for one bean. She’s going to use it rather than offer to help everyone else. Of course, you have to wonder if everyone really wants to leave Storybrooke. It has to be a lot better than the Enchanted Forest.

(Beans!)

Anyway, Ruby wants to go back to the Enchanted Forest to find more werewolves. Uh, show, didn’t we do this already? And didn’t it end rather poorly for both Red and Annabeth Gish? You couldn’t think of another reason to send Red back to the Enchanted Forest? Really? Anyway, Snow gives her blessing and that’s where Ruby’s been for the past season and a half.

(Really, writers?)

After talking with Red some more, Mulan realizes she’s been a jerk and needs to go help Merida. Since she’s not doing anything else, Red tags along for the ride.

Back home, Merida is about to abdicate in favor of Chief MacDouche. He’s quite supportive while Queen Elinor tries to talk her daughter out of the worst decision ever. Mulan bursts in and says she has a way to find the knight who killed Fergus.

(Mulan has a purpose!)

We cut back to the battle. Well, we cut back to Mulan and Merida training for said battle. Until Merida hears sounds in the distance. She realizes the battle has started and then realizes that Fergus had instructed Mulan to distract her through it. Mulan tries to apologize and say it’s for the best but Merida runs off to join the fracas.

Fergus prepares to lead the clans into battle, wearing the helm. He gives a rallying speech that probably launched a thousand “Braveheart” jokes before everyone runs out to meet the invaders head on. Merida watches from the sidelines with Mulan, proud of her father.

(Oh, why the hell not? FREEDOM!)

But then the knight charges toward her unsuspecting father. Merida shouts out a warning before picking up her bow. She lets an arrow fly…and it only catches the knight’s cape. Merida watches in horror as her father is cut down and Mulan has to hold her when she collapses in grief. She then sees the face of the person who killed her father—and it’s Arthur!

Le gasp!

But apparently they don’t put the pieces together and use the torn piece of cape found at the battle site to find him. Red, of course, has amazing smell and can sniff him out.

Arthur and Zelena have tracked the helm to a lake. He’s confused until Zelena pulls it out of the water. It seems Fergus realized how awful the helm was and tossed it into the lake. The men followed him anyway because they respected and trusted him. Yay, Fergus! Arthur still wants it. Uh, Arthur, don’t you have a kingdom of people under your thrall thanks to the dust you used? I mean, they agreed to attack Merlin, who they respected as well, because of the spell. Do you really need the helm?

Anyway, Merida and Mulan ambush him…with help from the three douches. 

(Hey, boys. Finally being useful, I see)

Seems they do now respect Merida and are willing to fight for her. Way to go, Merida! Red also blows some dust at Zelena that knocks her out and Red says that’s payback for the hell she caused in Season 3B. Outnumbered, Arthur hands over the helm before collecting a Zelena who is starting to come around. They head back to Camelot as the Dun Broch crew celebrates.

Merida is finally crowned with Chief McDouche (MacKenzie) bringing up her crown himself. Queen Elinor places the crown on her daughter’s head and everyone bows to her. The Witch shows up and Merida demands that the helm be destroyed. That no one should have the power to control other people, rejecting it like her father. The Witch smiles and says that Merida passed her test. She says she’ll be a good ruler…just like King Fergus.

(Long live Queen Merida)

Yep, this was all a test. I still didn’t think the Witch did that but okay. Merida passed. Yay! What does she get? She gets special ale that will allow her to communicate with one person in the Underworld.

Three guesses who she chooses.

At Fergus’ grave, she says goodbye to Red and Mulan. Merida tells Mulan to move on and to try to love again. Red agrees, though she points out that she ate the only boyfriend she ever had so she might not be the best to give love advice. Mulan definitely agrees. But she also agrees to go with Red to find the werewolves. With one last hug, they leave Merida to summon her father’s spirit.

(Hi, Fergus)

Fergus appears and tells his daughter that he’s proud of her. They have a lovely conversation and Merida gets the closure she needs from him. He disappears again as she vows to avenge his death, promising Arthur that she would come after him.

(Merida is determined)

So…yeah. Okay, it was a pretty good episode. And it was nice to see Mulan and Red again. But perhaps the episodes could’ve been switched? That this should’ve been the first hour and then “Birth” the second? Because “Birth” ended with a tense moment and a twist—Hook’s been a Dark One since returning from Camelot. THAT should’ve propelled us into the two week break. By putting “The Bear King” here, it broke the momentum that should’ve rolled naturally between “Birth” and “Broken Heart.”

Next time: We really deal with Hook is a Dark One fallout. He…doesn’t really take the news well. 

Screen caps from here.