Sunday, October 20, 2013

ANTM: The “Preposterous” Elephants

Remember Jade from Cycle 6? And when she thought elephants were related to dinosaurs?

Good times.

Last week on “ANTM:” The models flew to Bali! No one liked Chris H! Don had a panic attack and Nina revealed she had some of her lung taken out so they couldn’t do the underwater runway challenge. Then they had to pose with animals. Nina rose to the top while Don and Marvin fell to the bottom. In the end, Don was eliminated. Seven contestants remain, who will be eliminated? Find out!

Top Model!


BALI! Everyone returns home to find candles lit in their house and everyone settles onto pillows. Jeremy says he misses Don but he’s upset that Chris H. stayed. Meanwhile, Marvin goes to be alone and they decide to leave him alone. Nina celebrates her best photo while Chris H. doesn’t think Jeremy isn’t a model. And then Tyra sneaks in. They tell him Marvin is outside, upset. So she runs out to comfort Marvin. Naturally, everyone in the house runs to the window. It takes a few moments for Marvin to realize it is Tyra talking to him. Marvin cries to Tyra and she tells him to be optimistic, not defeatist. He hugs her and is like “I just got advice from Tyra!”

So Marvin and Tyra return to the house and Tyra asks about Bali. She says Bali helped her during a period when she was stressed. And she says Bali chooses you. She has a lot of plans for them. Then she asks how Renee how she feels and then goes around the room. Jourdan talks about her low self esteem and her ex-husband. Cory says it was a culture shock for him (as well as people like Jourdan) and that he was conditioned to judge people like they judge him. Jeremy talks about getting better in his photos and learning how to use his body to his advantage. She tells Nina to work her awkwardness. Chris H says he is jealous of their friendships. Nina says Chris H is her guy and Tyra asks Chris why he doesn’t feel that. Chris says he clicks with her and we go back to when Nina was upset over the fight. He feels like she’s a mother, not a friend. Nina tears up as we go to…CREDITS!

Wanna be on top?

BALI! Renee says Nina is Chris H’s friend but now Tyra is going to think Nina is the bad guy. I don’t think so. She bad mouths Chris H with Jourdan and Cory. Nina joins them and they tell her to defend herself with the same vigor she defends others, like Chris H. She says she sees the good in everyone and Renee agrees there is good in him. Nina says she loves him as a friend but he won’t accept it.

Meanwhile, Renee and Marvin keep cuddling with Jeremy right there. He’s like “This is so awkwardly adorable.”

Jeremy doesn’t like Chris H. He talks about how they ended up fighting over where they were standing when they arrived at Bali. He says that he didn’t like Chris H’s episode and Chris H talks about how it’s not fair that Jeremy came back in. Renee thinks they are all insane and Cory is just enjoying the show. So is Jourdan and Marvin leans out a window to see what’s going on.

Bottom line: No one likes Chris H.

COMMERCIALS!

Everyone goes to a really green field…er, rice patty. Tyra greets them and tells them they are wearing green clothes. Indonesian designer Oka Diputra is there as is Rafi A. Ridwan, who is a kid. And deaf. What have you done with your life?

Tyra does Marvin’s makeup and he says he is feeling better. He credits cuddles from Renee as helping. Tyra is introduced to Marnee…which is the hashtag Cory hoped it would be!

Anyway, Jez Smith is the photographer and Marvin poses in the rice field first. Johnny loves what Marvin is doing…which seems to be imitating Kokokum from Pocahontas to me. Renee is next and Chris H says he’s over Marnee as it’s not America’s Next Top Dater. Still not as epic as “America’s Next Top Best Friend” (TM Jade). Johnny thinks Renee is still too pageant girl.

Tyra watches Cory practice his poses before he goes out to pose for Jez. He loves him as does Johnny. Jourdan is next and takes a tumble into the rice patty. She says there are lots of snakes around but manages to recover. Jez says she has to learn her angles. Chris H admits to Tyra he has nerves and he then complains about being constrained by his outfit. Johnny’s like “Tough it out.” Johnny tells him not to get frustrated. Yes, Johnny, that’s going to help.

COMMERCIALS!

Jez calls action and Johnny gives him some directions. Jeremy confesses he wants Chris H. to go home. Chris H is confused when he’s directed to move around. Johnny thinks there are good shots but Chris H. is not connecting. Someone asks Chris backstage how it went and he admits he doesn’t think he did well. Nina tells him it’s okay to be frustrated but he needs to let the bad energy go so he doesn’t psyche himself out.

Tyra helps Nina with her poses before she heads out into the rice patty. Jez tells her where the light is and Cory says she is focusing too much on Chris H. Jez thinks she has an editorial look but there’s a disconnected between her face and body. After a pose test with Tyra, Jeremy goes out for his shoot. Jez and Johnny like him as Jeremy tries to work his angles.

That’s a wrap! But they aren’t going home just yet. They are going to Ubud, Bali. It’s a spiritual colony of sorts. Tyra reveals there is no challenge this week and everything rests on the photo.

Nina, Chris H, Cory and Renee go to see the shaman healer while Jeremy, Jourdan and Marvin go to see the monkeys. Marvin loves the animals. Chris H says the shaman looks like an anime character and is a bit freaked out. Everyone gets to go see elephants from their room and I swear Jourdan is crying. But there is only one bed with two pullout couches. Jeremy says the guys should take the pullout couches while the girls take the bed. Marvin looks upset so Cory offers to sleep with Nina and Jourdan so Renee can cuddle with Marvin. Chris H. is like “What about me?” I’m sorry, Chris, when did you stop being a guy? He complains and Chris finally gets his own bed because Jeremy pretty much agrees to sleep on the floor.

COMMERCIALS!

UBUD! Everyone runs down to go see the elephants in the morning. They get to pet the elephants and feed them as well. Remember back in Cycle 6 when they had to pose on top of an elephant? And Jade compared them to dinosaurs? Good time, good times. Everyone gets to ride on the elephants. Nina and Jourdan are amazed, Chris H is alone and Marvin gets to cuddle with Renee. Chris H complains about the bees and Jourdan’s like “Good thing he’s alone.” Cory pretends to be “Marnee’s” chaperone and then everyone demands a kiss. They discuss it and Renee is a bit shy about PDA. After a drumroll, Marvin kisses Renee. Everyone cheers.

They return to their house to skull mail! No one is safe again. They fear a double elimination. Nina thinks the fact there was no challenge is proof. Chris H thinks Jeremy should go while Nina thinks Chris H needs to go.

COMMERCIALS!

BALI! Tyra welcomes everyone to panel. There are judges—Kelly, Rob and Bryanboy. There are prizes. Nina is right—there is a double elimination tonight! Marvin goes before the judges first. Kelly cheers him, saying he looks like a model. Rob loves it and calls him a Balinese prince. Tyra says he looks like a man. Scores: 9, 9, 9. Renee is next. Rob says it looks natural and that she isn’t model. Kelly thinks she looks like a sad girl who wants to go to a party. Tyra thinks she could do better and could be more regal. Scores: 7, 7, 7. Jourdan follows. Rob says it doesn’t look real, like she is photoshopped onto the scenery. Kelly loves the picture. Tyra likes her angles and the shoot. Scores: 9, 10, 7. Cory is next. Kelly loves his shot and the “zig-zag.” Rob says he doesn’t always look high fashion. He shows how he would do it and Kelly says that there are different types of model. Tyra likes his shot. Scores: 9, 9, 6.

Nina follows him. Kelly compares her to a Russian nesting doll and doesn’t like Nina’s face. Rob thinks she got lost in the dress. Tyra says she was better backstage. Social media liked her photo, though. Scores: 6, 8, 6. Chris H. is next and Tyra notes he looks scared. Rob likes the shot while Kelly thinks he looks like a cross dresser. Tyra agrees with Rob about how he looks natural but still modeling. Scores: 7, 8, 8. Jeremy is last. Rob thinks he is a commercial model and Kelly thinks it doesn’t look like a fashion shot. Tyra tells Jeremy that he looks beautiful and not to rely on the bulk. She says to slim down a bit to match his face. Scores: 7, 7, 7. Tyra dismisses the models.

COMMERCIALS!

ELIMINATION! Best photo goes to…Jourdan. She is joined by Marvin, Cory and Renee. Jeremy, Nina and Cory step forward. Chris H: Stands in his own way. He is a strong model but he’s all in his head. Nina: Not sure why she’s there because she was so strong, but that’s the way the competition goes. Jeremy: Amazing body but stuck. Unable to work his body. So who is going home? Nina! Oh, not Nina. Chris H. hugs her and promises to win it for her if he stays, telling her he loves her. Aww. So does he stay? Yes. Jeremy is eliminated. the two hug it out as Chris H. apologizes to him. With another kiss to Nina, he tells Tyra he hates being in the bottom. Tyra tells him to breathe and let it be.

She then goes to say goodbye to Nina, saying she is confused. Nina apologizes and says it was a dream come true. Tyra then turns to Jeremy, telling him to look at pictures of Rob and learn to work what he has. Jeremy tells his fans to take a chance because he did and he got to Bali. Nina says she’s wanted to be America’s Next Top Model since she was 8 and this was her dream. She says it is strange but she will keep going.

America’s Next Top Model:

Alex*
Bianca
Kanani
Don
Renee
Nina
Marvin
Jiana
Chris
Cory
Jourdan
Chlea
Jeremy*
Chris
Mike
Phil

*Contestants reentered the series




Aww, my Nina went home. I’m going to miss her. Not so much Jeremy. And I’m kinda ready now for this group to be finished. Let’s crown Cory America’s Next Top Model and be done with it.

Also, who thought Marnee would be the relationship we got out of this cycle? I never would’ve thought it!

Next week: Cory vs. Chris H. Jourdan is sick! Bats! Jez!

Quote of the Episode

“It’s like seeing aliens come to earth when I see a man cry.”—Renee about Marvin’s tears

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