OUAT: How I Met Your Mother Before I Met Your Mother

Last time on “Once:” The Evil Queen decided to turn Henry against Hook, playing on her son’s teenage annoyance with the pirate’s attempts at bonding with him. She revealed that he didn’t get rid of the shearers like Emma asked and he confronted Hook at the harbor. At that point, a submarine appeared and sailors took the two hostage. Onboard, Hook revealed it was the Nautilus and he had a connection to its captain.

Of course, it wasn’t good.

Captain Nemo once abducted Hook and offered him a chance to change his life, to join his crew and finally have a family. Hook resisted but was dragged by Nemo onto a mission to retrieve a treasure chest. Inside was a key to what Nemo called “the Mysterious Island,” a place where they could make a home and no one would ever die again. Hook was tempted until he recognized a knife that belonged to Nemo’s first mate. It turned out he was Hook’s long lost brother, Liam II, who Hook had left an orphan when he killed their father. And Liam II wanted revenge. Nemo tried to stop him and Liam II accidentally stabbed him, vowing more revenge on Hook when he bailed.

So now Liam II wanted to kill Hook but Henry was able to save him. Together, they got rid of the golden shearers and then took Liam II to the hospital. Turned out Captain Nemo wasn’t dead and the hospital staff was able to save him. He was reunited with Liam II and things looked up for the Jones brothers. Things were better between Henry and Hook and Emma forgave Hook for not destroying the shearers.

Meanwhile, Emma spent time with Aladdin and convinced him to stop running. So he went to Jasmine and asked her to tell him about Agrabah. She told him that it just disappeared while she was on a diplomatic mission.

Belle also had her first ultrasound and a heart-to-heart with Snow about how she was going to handle Rumple’s role in their child’s life going forward. She decided to drop off a picture of the ultrasound, thankfully not going inside. She was spared watching Rumple and the Evil Queen making out after she got him the shearers so he could potentially use them on his son.

Father of the year, right there.

It is night in Storybrooke and all is quiet in the loft. Snow and Charming are sound asleep and Snow rolls closer to her husband as a shadow passes over her. She then opens her eyes to find she is a forest. Sitting up, she looks around until she spots the Queen. Queenie approaches, saying a sleeping Snow was always her favorite Snow.

(Some quality face time)

Queenie then tells the story about how Snow wanted a pony for her 15th birthday. So Leopold went and got her a pony. He then also hired a trainer who worked with the pony for six months. Then on Snow’s birthday, Leopold took her to the stables and showed her the pony. When the pony saw her, it bowed to her—just like it had been taught. Snow had declared it to be her perfect day. Queenie says Leopold always gave her everything she wanted and then some. She says that she’s going to get what she always wanted—Snow’s heart. And since half resides in David, she’ll get that too—her “then some.” She says that will be her perfect day.

Snow tells her that Regina enchanted their hearts the moment they knew the Evil Queen was back in town. She can’t take their hearts. Queenie says that she’s not going to take their hearts—they’re going to hand them over. She presses a bottle into Snow’s hand and says that it contains something terrible. Snow has twelve hours to figure it out and listen to her conscious or Queenie will release it, letting all of Storybrooke suffer. She then leaves Snow to ponder that.

The next morning, Zelena is clearly feeding a doll as the Queen breezes in. Zelena notes that she’s in a good mood and Queenie says she’s about to have Snow’s heart in the palm of her hand, getting revenge against her—and “Prince Farming” too. Zelena asks if that’s why Gold was there the other day and Queenie reveals she got him the golden shearers he wanted. He was grateful and Zelena makes a face at that. Queenie tells her not to jump to conclusions and then makes her excuses, saying there’s a lot she needs to do before Snow takes her final breath.

(So much evil to do, so little time to do it in)

Snow wanders around a market and tries to sell a piece of jewelry to a man. He notices that she’s not the usual peddler and she admits that she isn’t. She says an emergency has forced her to sell. He lowballs her and she says they both know it is worth much more. She explains it’s a family heirloom. He says he only knows one family with such heirlooms and asks for her name. Snow realizes she’s been recognized and takes the small amount he offered. The money is exchanged and she runs off as the man watches her with narrowed eyes.

(He's like a cartoon villain)

David approaches his little cottage with the most adorable dog in tow. Nothing bad better happen to the dog or the entire fandom may riot. Anyway, Ruth is back and she says that David didn’t find the lost lamb. He tells her that Wilby was able to find him but the night had been too cold for him. Ruth says they’ll never grow their flock that way and that the winter is too harsh. She says she wishes she could keep the farm forever and she knows David doesn’t like to give up, but it may be time to sell the farm.

(Hi, Ruth!)

Snow pulls down one of her wanted posters as the Blue Fairy criticizes her haggling skills. Snow says the man recognized her and if she had tried to go higher, he would’ve turned her over to the Queen. This way he has the bauble and she at least has some money. She says he’s greedy and won’t turn her in but Blue says otherwise. Snow turns to find a Viking hurling an axe at her and she has to struggle for her life. Blue helps and together they chase the man off.

Blue asks who it was and Snow says it was the Woodcutter. She says he usually chases werewolves but figures the man told him about the price on her head. Snow says she needs to leave. She’s a princess without a kingdom and doesn’t belong in the woods. Even with the small amount for the piece she just sold, she now has enough to book passage out of the kingdom and go somewhere to start over, to be free from Regina. Blue tries to talk her out of it but Snow heads on the path to Longbourne, the nearest port city.

(Someone take the axe away from Blue. I don't trust her with it)

Meanwhile, David agrees to go to Longbourne to sell the farm. He shoulders his bag and though he tries to get Wilby to stay behind, the dog follows him.

(He's adorable!)

At Granny’s, Regina tries to figure out what the Queen gave Snow. Emma’s hand is still shaking and Snow asks if she’s okay. Emma replies that the Evil Queen is trying to kill her parents, so she’s allowed to shake. David says that they were in Emma’s vision but she says the Oracle told her things could change, except for the fact she dies. Regina uses that to segue back to the vial, putting a drop of it on a nearby tree. It turns into CGI…I mean, dies. She says it’s water from the River of Lost Souls and that Gold must’ve brought it back from the Underworld and given it to the Queen. Regina says that if Snow and David don’t give Queenie their hearts, she’s going to destroy the town with it.

(This reminds me--what ever became of Regina's beloved apple trees?)

Snow and David go on a walk and she notices everyone in the town. She also worries that this starts them on the path that ends with Emma’s vision where she dies. David says they don’t know that and tells her not to give up. Snow refuses to give up, saying she’ll fight for Emma until their final breath. But she also fears the Queen may have finally found a way to defeat them.

(David tries to comfort his wife but words fail him)

Back in the Enchanted Forest, David walks through the woods. Wilby comes up to him, carrying a mug. David tries to take it from him but the puppeh runs away from him, leading him in the opposite direction of Longbourne. David comes across a rolling shed and is curious as Wilby paws at it.

A man comes upon them. I didn’t watch One Tree Hill but those who did will recognize Paul Johansson (AKA Dan Scott). He says the cup is his and that he thought he lost it after he went over a bump. David explains that his dog is good at finding things and Paul admires the dog. He says he’s a traveling merchant and he made camp there for safety as he usually doesn’t travel alone. He asks David where he’s heading and when David reveal Longbourne, Paul says he’s heading that way too. He suggests they travel together for safety and David agrees. Paul puts the cup in his rolling shed, revealing an outfit inside that makes him the Woodcutter.

(Uh oh)

Blue and Snow walk down the road, with Blue trying to convince Snow that she needed to stay. She says the fairies could protect her but Snow says home is supposed to be where one’s family is. Her only family is trying to kill her. She’s alone. Blue says there’s an old fairy saying that says if someone believes in you, you’re not alone. She insists the people believe in her and love her. Snow snaps that the brooch she sold was a gift from her father to her mother, who treasured it. He then gave it to Regina, who treated it like trash because she didn’t care about his love. (Of course, Snow at this time didn’t understand that Leopold didn’t love Regina and probably only gave her the trinket to try to turn her into Eva). Anyway, she says love isn’t something that can change her life. The bag of coins that can take her to a new life will. So Blue hugs her and tells her to be careful, that dangers may look innocent at first.

At Emma’s house, Belle studies the water. When Emma says that Belle doesn’t seem surprised Gold brought it back, Belle replies that he hasn’t been acting like the man he could be. She says she searched all her books but she hasn’t found a way to neutralize water from the River of Lost Souls. She promises to keep looking and leaves, passing by Blue as she enters the house.

(Oh good. More Blue)

Blue says she hurried over once she heard what was going on. She says she doesn’t have anything to neutralize water from the River of Lost Souls but she may have discovered a way to stop the Evil Queen. There is a sapling created by magic at the first meeting of True Loves that could stop her. She says they had one in the Enchanted Forest and assumed it was left behind in the curse. However, the fairies now believe it is in Storybrooke. The only problem is that it won’t be hidden and anyone—including Gold, Queenie or Zelena—could find it.

Regina has an idea, though. She admits that there was always some…chemistry…between her and Rumple. Everyone looks as disgusted as me and Regina assures them that nothing happened between her and them. However, she’s not too sure about Queenie and Rumple. She grabs a pad and pen.

("I know. I know.")

She has written a message as Queenie, asking Zelena to meet her at Gold’s shop. Zelena thanks the raven that delivered it and as she enters the shop, Regina watches in glee.

Zelena calls out but it appears the shop is empty. She then hears a noise and goes to investigate, coming across Gold and Queenie making out. Queenie suggests they find some place more comfortable and Zelena suggests a bed of lies. She then storms out.

Queenie stops her and Zelena asks to leave. She says she saw what Queenie wanted her to see and that she thought they weren’t keeping secrets, that they were partners and in this together. Instead, Queenie was with Rumple. Not that Zelena cares. However, she is turning green, which Queenie takes delight in pointing out.

(Let's welcome back the green!)

Gold breaks up their squabbling to show them the note. Queenie looks it over and says she didn’t write it. Gold says someone with her handwriting did and she realizes Regina wrote it. He tells the two that they’re being played. Zelena stands in the background, glaring at them like “Yeah, but you two were still going at like teenagers. I can’t unsee that.”

Down at the harbor, Blue uses her magic wand to find the sapling. A ball of light lands on the other side of the water and she says that they’ll find the sapling there. David says Regina can magic them over there but he asks what they are going to do with Queenie once they neutralize her. Regina says they can put her in the vault. She’s taken off the blood magic but she concedes she has a lot of dangerous stuff still in there. Emma and Hook volunteer to pack it up. Emma then tells her father to be careful and he says he’s in good company.

Back in the Enchanted Forest, David and the Woodcutter keep walking on. The Woodcutter offers David some water, saying that they’ll be walking hard in order to reach Longbourne faster. David thanks him, taking a sip. Immediately he grows weak and disoriented, collapsing to the ground. The Woodcutter warns him about accepting drinks from strangers and Wilby whines as David goes unconscious. The Woodcutter assures the dog that he’s just asleep and that he has a fun game for the dog to play. Wilby whines again and the entire audience wants to jump in and save the puppeh from him.

(Save Wilby!)

Snow wanders down the road when she hears something behind her. She picks up a rock and is ready to throw it…when Wilby appears. He’s cute so she starts to pet him…until the axe lands near her. Snow jumps up, spotting the Woodcutter. She ask how he found her and he says she’s a lost princess. He has an excellent sheep dog who got her scent off a piece of her clothing. The Woodcutter presses Snow against a tree and she spits in his eye. He laughs, assuring her he won’t kill her. He’ll just bring her to the Queen and let her kill Snow while he collects his reward.

(Snow wishes she could set him on fire with her eyes)

Regina, Snow and David find where the light landed. Snow asks if David recognizes where they are. He says that they’re by the toll bridge, where she found him after he left the hospital back during the curse. He asks if it’s a sign and she says she doesn’t know what to think anymore. All she knows is that it’s good to be on an adventure with him again. He smiles and they have a moment.

Regina breaks up the moment, saying she’s found something. She conjures up a pickaxe and hits the ground with it. A cloud of dust rises up as something quivers. David leans down and lifts a lid, noting that there’s a trap door in the middle of nowhere. They guess they have to explore down there and David asks if Snow is ready. She replies always and they hold hands as Regina uses her magic to get them down the shaft.

(Regina looks like she's modeling for a catalogue)

In the vault, Hook asks what adder’s fork is. Emma replies that it’s snake’s tongue and that she remembered it being in the potion she drank to find Aladdin. She tries to move some boxes but her hand starts to shake. Hook takes it, saying she’s nervous about her parents and assures her they’ll find the sapling (“magical baby tree thing”) and defeat the queen. Emma worries that Queenie will get to them before they can find the sapling and she won’t be able to protect her parents.

Hook tell her to take a seat and he pulls out the storybook, saying he borrowed it from Henry. She protests and he hushes her, saying it’s story time. He tells her the story of her parents and the Evil Queen. He says they found each other and then found her. She is the product of their true love and that makes her strong. It was a bit more rambly than that, with the writer having thrown in “finding each other” and “true love” several times for good measure. Emma’s hand stops shaking and he kisses it.

(Story time with Captain Swan)

Wilby wakes David, who is less than thrilled to realize he was roofied in the middle of the forest. He yells the name the Woodcutter gave him—“Gabriel”—and then follows Wilby.

Snow is in the rolling shed, trying to breakdown the locked door. Wilby and David approach and David asks if someone is in there. Snow calls out there is but he needs to run before the Woodcutter comes back. David goes off and Snow listens, startled when she hears a loud bang against the door. David has a rock and he’s using it to break the lock.

(Action!David)

Down the shaft, Snow, David and Regina follow an underground tunnel until they come across a giant open space. Sitting there is the sapling, complete with the light. Snow and David reach for it and as they touch it, we get glimpses of their relationship through a montage! They let go and Snow asks what just happened.

("That was some trip.")

David takes the sapling and Snow wonders if maybe since it’s made from True Love, it shows everyone their true love. David says they don’t need to be reminded of their love. Snow then says there was something in there that didn’t make sense to her but Regina says they can discuss it after they defeat the Evil Queen. They turn to leave.

Queenie, though, blocks their path. She takes the sapling from them but Snow says she can’t use it. Queenie agrees before snapping it in two. She taunts them before turning the sapling into dust and asks if they want to give her their hearts now. David says they still have time and she agrees. She tells them to use their final hours wisely and that she’ll be waiting for them in the cemetery. It seems like a good place for an ending, she says before poofing out of there.

("Oops")

Snow looks at Neal’s empty crib as David reports that Granny says the baby is fine. She replies that he has a lot of people who love him and will care for him before saying that they have no choice. They can’t sacrifice the town and so it seems the Evil Queen will win. David seems to know and says he wishes they had managed to save the sapling. Especially because he could feel the power contained in it when they saw their memories. He quotes one of them but Snow frowns. She says it was her memory, but he hadn’t been there. David says it was his but she wasn’t there. He then narrows his eyes as he wonders if maybe she was.

("A little to left")

David continues to bang away at the lock but Snow is busy trying to convince him to run for his life. He refuses and soon an axe lands next to his face. The Woodcutter stands there and David fends him off with the rock. It’s not much of a weapon so he pulls the spare axe out. The Woodcutter decimates it and so David has to rely on dodging him, sending him into the rolling shed. It creates a hole and Snow is able to grab him, holding him in place as she tells David to finish him. Using the pointed end of the destroyed axe, David stabs him and he falls down to the ground.

David finds a key on the Woodcutter and goes to unlock the rolling shed. Snow stops him, though, saying that she’s made some powerful enemies and if he sees her, he’ll be in danger. She doesn’t want to do that to him. He gives her the key instead and says she can let herself out once he goes.

Except he doesn’t leave right away. He asks Snow why she was out on the road alone and she says she thought she was better off alone, but she wasn’t as resourceful as she thought he was. David, though, says she was pretty resourceful in that fight. She asks him why he was on the road and she he explains how he has to sell his mother’s farm because they need money. Snow offers him her money as a reward for saving her. He tries to refuse but she insists. She says she is pretty resourceful and maybe the corrupt nobleman who rides through her lot of the forest will find himself losing some money along the way now. He asks if she’ll still be alone and she says that knowing he believes in her means she won’t be alone. She gives him the money and as their fingers touch, a spark falls to the ground and turns into the sapling.

We all knew it was theirs, right?

Queenie is waiting outside the vault as the people of Storybrooke gather round. She tells them about how she is going to release the water from the River of Lost Souls and they start to panic. Zelena comes up to Belle and says she doesn’t have to worry since Gold made a deal with Queenie that keeps Belle and her child safe. Belle says she doesn’t care what deal her husband has with the Evil Queen. Zelena, though, says she would probably like to know about what else Queenie and Gold have been up to.

(Belle looks like she's trying to figure out why Zelena is still even here.)

Regina approaches Emma and Hook. She asks if Emma is ready and she says that she is, showing her hand isn’t trembling. Regina and Emma prepare to hit Queenie when Snow and David show up. They approach Queenie, who gloats at how predictable they are. Snow and David say they know their love is stronger than anything she can do to them and so they aren’t afraid. They’re willing to make the sacrifice for the town because it’s the right thing to do.

Emma lets out a cry of “Mom, Dad.” They turn around and Snow says that people go through life not knowing where their path will lead. She says they know—their paths always lead back to each other and then to her. So they’re okay with this. Regina makes sure and they tell her to take away the protection spell. She reluctantly does so, leaving them vulnerable to Queenie.

Good thing Archie is no longer a cricket. Emma is going to need lots of therapy after this.

Snow and David approach Queenie and after some significant looks between them, she plunges her hands into their chests. Everyone looks away as she pulls out their shared heart. She stares down at the halves, saying she’s dreamt of this for a long time and that she would wake up feeling the ashes of Snow’s heart. But now that she has the heart, she says she wants more. She wants Snow to feel the same pain she did—the pain of being alone. With that, she shoves their hearts back into place.

(She's staring like it's a cupcake)

Everyone stares in shock. And then Snow falls to the ground. David rushes to her side and is amused—a sleeping curse? How passé. Queenie, though, says this one has a twist. She then makes Snow disappear and tells David to find her. She thinks he’ll be in for quite the surprise when he does. Queenie poofs herself out as David stares at the people of Storybrooke.

Gold stares at the sonogram as Belle enters. He thanks her for it. She says Zelena told her about him and Queenie. Gold says it means nothing but Belle cuts him off. She doesn’t care who he is doing. What she does care about is the golden shearers, which Zelena also told her about. And about Gold’s plan to use them on their son right after he’s born in order to cut him off from his future. She refuses to let him do that to their son because he’s going to hate Gold down the line.

He tries to argue that it’s just who he is but she shuts that down. She says he’s not pure evil like the Queen and that she knows he’s capable of love. He’s can change—if he wants to. Instead of forcing their son to love him, he could earn that love. Gold worries that he’ll fail and she says that it’s his problem. He isn’t evil…he’s just too weak, too afraid of failing to really love. She leaves and he growls Zelena’s name.

(Curses)

David and Emma return to the loft but Snow isn’t there. He figures she was sent to the forest and he drives out there, coming to a stop along a winding road. David then races through the woods until he comes across Snow once again in her glass coffin.

As David removes the lid, Emma leads Hook, Regina and Henry toward the coffin. Regina says it might take more than a kiss this time but Emma insists he needs to try. David leans in to give his wife a kiss, which is intercut with clips of Charming waking Snow from the premiere. He kisses her and we see Snow’s eyes open. The burst of True Love washes over everyone and Regina is like “Well, look at that.” But their joy is short lived as David collapses to the ground, unconscious.

Snow calls out for her husband as Regina checks him over. She tells Snow that Queenie put the sleeping curse on her heart—the one she shares with David. So now they share the curse. Whenever one of them is awake, the other will be asleep. As long as the curse remains unbroken, Snow realizes it means they’ll never be together and it breaks her heart.

That was a very nice twist and one I feel Once hasn’t delivered in a long time. Queenie’s revenge is poetic and it feels like it’s going to take all the heroes’ wits to try and fix this one. While we know that Snowing always finds their way back to each other, it’s going to be fun to see how they do it this time.

Next time: Emma and Regina go through the looking glass.  

Screen caps from here.