SPOILERS, SPOILERS!
“Mirror, Mirror” tells the familiar story: A king and queen have a beautiful daughter named Snow White, but the queen dies. The king (Sean Bean) is sad but continues to raise their daughter and rule the kingdom, which is happy and home to singing and dancing. He decides to remarry, choosing a beautiful woman (Julia Roberts) to be his new wife. But evil invades the country and the king disappears fighting it. The queen takes over and the kingdom is plunged into winter.
The movie’s real action starts on Snow White’s 18th birthday. She is grown now and played by Lily Collins. But her stepmother has kept her locked in the palace and doesn’t like Snow wandering around. Because if she does, she’ll learn the queen has bankrupted the kingdom. Which she does when the servants, who care for Snow White, convince Snow White to leave the palace and see what has become of her kingdom.
At the same time, Prince Alcott (Armie Hammer) arrives in the kingdom when he and his squire are attacked by bandits in black. He is surprised to learn they are dwarves (seven of them, so guess who?) and says the wrong thing. So they rob the two, strip them and hang them upside down. Which is how Snow White comes across them. She cuts them down and flirts with the prince for a bit. But she continues to the village and he musters enough dignity to get out of the woods despite his lack of clothing. He goes to the palace, where the queen is enthralled by the young, half naked prince in her presence. Snow goes to the village, which looks like they are also doubling as extras in Les Miserables. She wonders why they aren’t dancing and singing like they once did and the answer is simple: They’re too hungry to do so!
While Snow is in the village, her stepmother has decided to throw a ball. But since she’s broke, she needs money. Time to raise the taxes! She sends Brighton (Nathan Lane) into the village to do so and the people, naturally, complain. So Brighton tells them it is to help keep the beast haunting the woods from attacking them. The people agree to pony up the cash and Snow hurries back to the castle. She learns about the ball and the prince. With the servants’ help, Snow goes to it to enlist the prince’s help against the queen.
At the ball, Alcott and Snow are surprised to see each other. They are attracted to each other and Snow starts to plead her case, which the queen notices. Snow is brought to her and the Queen orders Brighton to sacrifice Snow to the beast. He instead lets her go, instructing her to run to a safe part of the woods. There, she is taken in by the seven dwarves. Snow convinces them to stop being regular thieves and more like Robin Hood so they teach her how to fight.
In the kingdom, the news of Snow White’s death spreads. The servants are heartbroken, Alcott sad and the Queen still trying to get into his royal pants. When Brighton comes back after the dwarves rob him, Alcott goes to fight them. He is surprised to find Snow White alive and working with the dwarves. They duel, growing more in love with each swing of a sword.
Defeated, Alcott returns to the queen and reveals Snow White is alive. She is enraged and desperate, forcing her to go to her magical land and talk to her mirror (also Julia Roberts). The Queen demands the mirror to kill Snow White and to make the prince fall in love with her. With some puppy love, Alcott agrees to marry the Queen. Meanwhile, Snow White and the dwarves have to deal with giant marionettes. Though their hideaway suffers damage, everyone survives the fight. But Snow decides she must leave to protect the dwarves.
She doesn’t get far and they convince her to go to the Queen’s wedding. Snow kidnaps Prince Alcott and, in a reversal of the classic tale, must break the spell he is under. Once she does, Alcott wants to help her. Especially as the queen has ordered the beast to attack Snow. The group bands together to defeat it though Snow realizes the beast is under the queen’s spell as well. Breaking it, everyone learns the beast was really the long-lost King. The queen learns the price of using magic as she loses her beauty.
In the end, everyone lives happily ever after. Except the queen.
“Mirror, Mirror” probably wasn’t the best title for the movie. It was actually untitled for quite a long time. But even I can’t come up with a better title. Except to go traditional: Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
The cast is pretty spot on. With maybe the exception of Julia Roberts as the Evil Queen. Yes, she’s beautiful and a great actress. But she doesn’t exude the evilness the queen needs. If anything, I would’ve kept her as the magic mirror—the brief appearance is spectacular—or cast her as Snow White’s mother.
Collins is pretty good as Snow White. She can capture Snow’s vulnerable side yet handle a sword. She has a regal bearing that makes you believe she could be a fairy tale princess. Hammer plays the prince as dashing and well-meaning if a bit arrogant. And he does get cut down a few times, so we get to stare at his half-naked form. I don’t think many women were complaining. He and Collins also have some great chemistry together. Their kissing scene alone was worth a rewind.
But the true stars of the movie are the dwarves. They are the comedic relief (along with Nathan Lane) but still provide some poignant moments. And they are seven badasses. I’ve seen some people try to tie their personalities to the Disney dwarves, but that is a disservice to the dwarves. They have their own different personalities and do not blend in to each other. Go, Dwarves!
The costumes are gorgeous. Even if the movie doesn’t hold your interest, you can enjoy the costume porn alone. Eiko Ishioka’s designs are elaborate and everything you expect from a live action fairy tale. She also understands the importance of colors and symbolism, especially in regards to outfitting Snow White vs. outfitting the Evil Queen.
So why didn’t it do so well? I’m not sure. Perhaps because of Snow White and the Huntsman. And The Hunger Games. Even this sword brandishing Snow White couldn’t compete with armored Snow White and Katniss Everdeen. March should’ve been a good time for the movie—right after award-baiting season and before blockbuster season. This lighthearted fare should’ve been just what audiences wanted. But it couldn’t compete with the other two.
Should you give it a watch? If you like fun romps, absolutely.
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