Victorian England has recovered from the Cybermen only to have to deal with psychic snow. All while the Doctor is “retired.” Which we know how long that lasts, especially with a perky female assistant running about.
We start at a Dickensian orphanage, where a small boy builds a snowman. The adults watch him and talk about how he is a loner. He prefers the company of his snowmen and calls the other children stupid. The snowman echoes this sentiment. And our Dickensian orphan has a new best friend. Who ultimately ends up eating people sometime in the future, controlled by the Dickensian orphan grown up into Richard E. Grant, returning to Doctor Who!
What do I mean by “returning to Doctor Who”? Well, years ago, current head writer Steven Moffat wrote a Doctor Who spoof called “Doctor Who and the Curse of the Fatal Death” for a charity special. It stars Rowan Atkinson as the Doctor, Julia Swahala as companion Emma and Jonathan Pryce as the Master. At one point, the Doctor regenerates and becomes Richard E. Grant. There’s more and I highly recommend you watch it.
Anyway, Grant goes to visit some nobleman at his house. The year before, said nobleman lost his children’s governess when she drowned in the pond. It froze over and they didn’t find her for a month. Morbid. Anyway, he leaves the nobleman’s house and is surrounded in an alley by…Elphaba. the Wicked Witch of the West? Oh, no wait, there’s Jenny so that must be Madame Vastra. Grant goes on about how Sir Arthur Conan Doyle is basing Sherlock Holmes and Watson off these two and their exploits. He says people would never believe the great detective was a
I’ve had way too much time to think about this. Honestly, I have. Steven Moffat also writes the modern version of Sherlock on BBC. You know, the one with Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman as Sherlock and Watson, respectively? So he picks the couple with the same sex relationship to be the inspiration for Sherlock and Watson? He must love teasing the fandom.
Anyway, Madame Vastra and Jenny try to intimidate Grant from his diabolical scheme…whatever it may be…but they fail. There is only one who can take Richard E. Grant down and he is retired.
But! There is a young British lady running about. Wearing a red dress. Played by Jenna-Louise Coleman. Remember, soufflé girl Oswin Oswald? She’s here in Victorian England going by “Clara.” And she’s a barmaid who notices snowmen appearing where they shouldn’t. Which is when she runs into the Doctor, wearing his best Victorian clothes. And he’s with Strax, the Sontoran. Yes, he died during “A Good Man Goes to War” but He Got Better! The Doctor tries to get away from Clara after revealing the snow is psychic but she’s having none of that. She chases down his carriage, bursting through the top to ask “Doctor Who?”
Oh, Clara.
The Doctor resists the urge to bring Clara with him. He tries to erase her memory by using some slug but Strax keeps forgetting. These two need to take a lesson from Captain Jack Harkness in how to slip retcon into one’s drink/food. But a bunch of snowmen form just because Clara thinks about them, which the Doctor recognizes. He tells her she has the power to destroy them by thinking that they are melted. She does and the crew gets to throw buckets of water on Matt Smith and Jenna-Louise Coleman. Because of this, the Doctor decides not to erase her memories.
Instead, he orders Strax to get her home but Clara isn’t ready to go home yet. She follows the Doctor, watching him pull down a ladder from a tree. He disappears and she reaches for the ladder to follow him. She climbs into the clouds, spotting the TARDIS. Though she knocks on the door, she chickens out when the Doctor answers.
So Clara returns to the nobleman’s house where she is the new governess. The children are excited to see her, asking her to tell them stories and speak in her “other voice” (AKA Cockney). The daughter says she’s been having nightmares of the old governess rising from the pond and punishing her for being naughty. Clara promises to find someone who will protect her.
Meanwhile, Grant returns to his home and his giant snow globe. Which can talk. With Sir Ian McKellen’s voice. So, Dumbledore and Gandalf have been in Doctor Who Christmas Specials. They talk about their master plan. Which is to use the fact the governess was frozen in a pond for a month to their advantage. Use the psychic snow to mesh with her DNA and create living snow people! How diabolical!
Determined to keep her charges safe, Clara tries to track down the Doctor. She finds Jenny, who leads her to
Oh, Clara!
So now the Doctor is compelled to help, especially as the dead governess does rise from the pond. It’s an ice sculpture without a face or many other features. Almost like it’s a marionette. The ice sculpture tries to grab the girl…why? It’s never explained why the governess thinks the girl is naughty or why she only goes for the girl rather than the boy. But Clara does her best to protect the girl, even trying to get her to melt the governess. But the girl is too afraid to do so.
Thankfully, the Doctor arrives. Wearing his bowtie again. He and Clara try to battle the Ice Governess and end up going up to the TARDIS. This time, Clara goes in. She then steps out to examine the dimensions of the TARDIS. When she steps back in, she says “It’s smaller on the outside.” You know, the exact opposite of what companions usually declare. The Doctor goes on and on, inviting Clara to travel with him. She agrees and the Doctor re-emerges as his old self.
Sadly, the ice governess manages to get to the TARDIS. There is a brief fight and the governess is pitched off the cloud, taking Clara with her. The Doctor tries to save her but she lands hard on the ground. Though Strax manages to stabilize her, he cannot guarantee she will live. The Dcotor promises to destroy the snowmen as everyone watches over Clara.
The Doctor goes to confront Grant and his Giant Snow Globe…I mean, the Great Intelligence. It’s important to note it as the Doctor has encountered the Great Intelligence in the classic series. But for the rest of the recap, I shall refer to it as the Giant Snow Globe. The Doctor offers Grant help with his big plan to takeover the world with psychic snowmen. Grant snaps it up, only to learn it is the memory eating worm from earlier. It starts to suck up Grant’s memories, weakening the Giant Snow Globe. For you see, the Giant Snow Globe is merely Grant’s thoughts. With Grant forgetting about the Giant Snow Globe, the psychic snow loses its power.
But the Great Intelligence isn’t done yet. Its Snowmen army emerges, ready to fight. The family, though, doesn’t care. Clara is dying. They begin to cry and their tears cause it to rain, washing the Snowmen army away. The Doctor watches as the Great Intelligence is temporarily defeated and realizes what the rain is. He hurries back to Clara’s side in time for her last words. With the TARDIS key in hand, Clara tells the Doctor to run, you clever boy. You know, Oswin Oswald’s last words.
Everyone buries Clara and the Doctor learns her full name: Clara Oswin Oswald. He wonders how someone could die twice. Well, Oswin existed far in the future from what I could tell and so could be a descendant or reincarnation. But no, it’s a mystery the Doctor must solve! Especially if the Great Intelligence is involved.
Sometime…I guess now…a young woman and her friend traipse around the graveyard. Her friend calls out to her and her name is Clara. She turns around to reveal she is—surprise, surprise—Jenna-Louise Coleman. And so we’re geared up for the second half of season seven.
It was great to see Jenna-Louise Coleman again. However, I just hope her fast-talking, seemingly all-knowing character doesn’t start to grate. I am curious to see how the Great Intelligence fits in with her storyline. Otherwise, it was another great Doctor Who Christmas special. Too bad they got rid of Grant’s character; he could’ve been a great villain.
Well, upwards and onwards to the last half of the season! And let’s start wondering about the 50th anniversary!
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