Coming Soon to an Infomercial Near You!

Last week on ANTM: Tyra reminded us that she’s a published author! And that she graduated from Harvard! She assigned all the models these stupid superhero name. They then had to go meet Kelly at a studio where they were to run their own photoshoot. Split into teams, Annaliese was overwhelmed leading the Brits. On set, Louise and Kelly argued briefly. When Nigel called her photo “mean,” Louise went off, not helped when Kelly called her on her behavior. She stormed off, quitting the competition. Eleven wannabes remain, who will be eliminated tonight?

Wanna be on top?


COMMERCIALS!

The girls go home for another USA box since AzMarie got first picture. And the Dream Team—Sophie and Ashley—give her a hug. Candace talks about being in the bottom four with Eboni, Ashley and Alisha. She agrees her photoshoot wasn’t the best but she’s confident something good will happen.

TYRA MAIL! “Can you translate your super powers into super sales?” Oh Lord, not those stupid “super powers” again!

WHAT IS MS. J WEARING? Anyway, he/she/it introduces the wannabes to that “branding specialist” Martin. Okay, Ashley gets subtitled but this guy doesn’t? There’s something about Angelina Jolie…eh…Anyway, he tells them that they have to come up with their own commercials and have to make a good first impression. The reward for winning the challenge will be diamond bracelets.

The girls pick their products. Sophie got hand sanitizer. She was bubbly. Ashley is a bit confusing with her toilet paper. Martin liked Annaliese, who put her TV personality experience to work. The Americans go next, with Seymone leading. AzMarie stumbles. Kyle gets breathe mints and gets the giggles. The sound guys cue up the crickets though Martin liked Kyle’s personality. Eboni goes on about being pretty. I love Sophie’s face while watching it. Candace is worried about doing a presentation as she paid people to do her school presentations.

Catherine thinks that the Brits are going to win. Martin reveals that they will be playing their commercials for actual consumers who will judge them. The girls are like “Uh oh.”

COMMERCIALS

The girls wait for the focus group to watch their commercials. They get to watch the group. Some people didn’t like AzMarie and Laura got called “too ghetto.” Catherine was called “messy.” Candace made them nervous. They like Seymone and Sophie. And they think Sophie would be good for CoverGirl. They also like Annaliese and Kyle. They call Kyle “sweet” and “likeable.” Eboni fails to sell and someone says she isn’t that pretty. Eboni turns on Kyle and some of the other girls turn on Kyle for her looks. So she walks away. Ms. J follows. Kyle tells him/her/it that she will pound Eboni. Ms. J tells her to only go home with the judges send her home.

Martin reveals Kyle, Sophie and Annaliese were really good according to the focus group. And Annaliese wins the entire challenge. The Brits are happy and have a good hug. They collect their bracelets and are dismissed.

TYRA MAIL! “Hold onto your hats and prepare for a bumpy ride.”  Someone thinks bull riding topless. I’ve been watching Catherine’s BNTM season and they put the girls on a mechanical bull but she’s not the one who thinks that.

Kyle calls home and says she wants to leave to her mother. Her mother tells her not to give up just because of the other girls. Downstairs, the girls think Kyle should suck it up or go home.

COMMERCIALS!

LA! The girls board the Model Mobile and Sophie thinks they end up where they shot the car racing scene from Grease. And Nigel is driving Mr. Jay in a classic car. They lead a group of cars. Nigel welcomes them to their photoshoot. The girls will be modeling British hats—Philip Treacy’s—while modeling in classic low riders. With hydraulics. The girls are excited.

AzMarie is up first. Nigel tells her to watch her face. Catherine follows and Mr. Jay likes her. Alisha follows and she wanted to stress her legs. And keep her face. Kyle goes to her shoot and promises to drop the sweet girl act. Mr. Jay loves her shoot and gets thumbs up. Ashley follows and nailed it. Seymone is told to have fun and doesn’t know what to do. Nigel takes her out of the car and tells her to come with a game plan. Annaliese follows and…I think we need to get Mr. Jay a thesaurus. Laura did a booty tooch and Nigel is impressed she got on the car. Candace is told she looks like she should be in Vogue and hopes Nigel will vouch for her. He tells her she didn’t give him a lot. Sophie is next and Nigel tells her to laugh after. He’s not thrilled. Eboni goes next and Nigel likes it.

That’s a wrap!

The Americans watch Kyle pack but she hopes to sleep on it. Laura is sick of girls quitting. Candace wants Kyle to actually leave, mostly because she knows she’s in danger.

COMMERCIALS!

PANEL! Tyra introduces the judges, Nigel and Kelly. The guest judge is Ms. J Alexander. There are prizes. Sophie is up first. Nigel calls her high fashion but didn’t connect with the cars. Kelly agrees. Tyra tells her to watch out for spaces. Eboni is next and Ms. J tells her to watch her eye. Tyra tells her that she looks like a little girl trying to be sexy but it’s okay that she looks young. Kelly calls Catherine a bit too intense and Ms. J wanted more neck. Alisha gets praised for her look at panel. Tyra likes her shot, Ms. J tells her to watch her toes hanging over the shoe. Alisha looks like “that was the size they gave me.” The judges aren’t impressed with Seymone’s shot.

Kelly doesn’t like Kyle’s look and they make her take her hair down. She does love Kyle’s shot as does Tyra. Ashley is next and Nigel shooting her. Nigel says he was disappointed with Candace. Tyra thinks she hides behind her hair and maybe should’ve gotten AzMarie’s hair cut. Nigel loved shooting Laura and the panel loves her picture. Annaliese is applauded for winning the challenge. Ms. J tells her to get tips to look taller and Tyra loves how she is using her facial muscles. Everyone loves AzMarie’s shot. 

COMMERCIALS!

The judges deliberate. Tyra likes Catherine’s face. Nigel thinks Eboni is trying too hard. Kelly thinks Sophie looks pregnant. Nigel says he’d book Annaliese and Kelly says she thinks she is TV. They wonder if Seymone is comfortable in her skin. They loved Kyle and Ashley’s shot. Kelly says that Candace frustrates her. Tyra likes that Laura lied down. Nigel liked her shot but sometimes acts too cool.

ELIMINATION!

No, wait, COMMERCIALS!

Now it’s ELIMINATION! Best photo goes to…AzMarie! She is joined by Laura, Kyle, Catherine, Annaliese, Eboni, Alisha, Ashley, and Sophie. An American is going home as Seymone and Candace are in our bottom two. Seymone: Lovely, good proportions for a “fiercely real” model, but photos don’t reflect it. Candace: Lovely, exotic, but mediocre. So who stays? Seymone! The judges feel she needs more time. Why are they constantly flashing to Kyle? Anyway, Tyra tells Seymone to rise to her potential.

Tyra asks Candace what happens when the camera goes up. She says she’s overthinking. Tyra tells her that she’s a queen and needs to own it. Candace says it hurts because there are girls who are ready to leave. Kyle looks like she sucked a lemon. Tyra breaks her off to say that there were times when she was in Paris she nearly walked away due to the other models. But that she had people who convinced her to stay. She tells Candace that the girls are judged on their shoot and their picture.

Candace hugs everyone and leaves, probably promising the same old “I’ll make it, you’ll see” they always say. I tuned it out.

America’s Next Top Model:

Alisha
Annaliese
Ashley
AzMarie
Candace
Catherine
Eboni
Jasmia
Kyle
Laura
Louise
Mariah
Seymone
Sophie

Well, that was interesting. I love Kyle, but not when she’s acting like that. And frankly, I think the girls were just jealous. They attacked Kyle’s performance in the commercial and when she left, said that in this industry, she needed a thick skin. Which is true. But they are in an industry that is primarily based on looks, which is what Kyle was being praised for.

And I can’t believe I’m going to type this, but…I miss Ms. J on the panel.

Next week: Toronto Fashion Week! Maple Syrup!

Quote of the episode:

“Get your *expletive* together cause yous gots to go!” –Annaliese about KyleLA! The Brits are sad about Louise’s departure. They realize the Americans can work well together but say there is some dissention growing. The Americans listen to Eboni bitch. She’s talking about how she was called a prostitute that Tyra expects her to be this little girl and goes on about how tough she is and that she’s an adult. Okay, look, I understand that it’s difficult looking younger than you are. I do. But you want to know why I’m treated like an adult? Because I act like one. Eboni starts taking out her frustration on Kyle, saying she was so worried about not looking punk enough at her photoshoot. That’s a legitimate concern considering it was your theme. Eboni than says that Kyle is praised at panel and Kyle wonders what she is going on about.