“Jefferson Still Lives.”

For those of you who don’t know (by now), I’m an American history nerd. Our title this week is the last words uttered by John Adams, Founding Father and second president. He had a friendship with fellow Founding Father Thomas Jefferson until the man was Adam’s vice president. It soured pretty quickly. Afterwards, the two entered into a period where they didn’t talk. In their twilight years, after they both retired and Adams became a widower, he and Jefferson revived their friendship through letters. However, there was still a bit of competition between the two. Both would die on July 4, 1826—the fiftieth anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence. Jefferson would die first at Monticello, but in Quincy, Adams would not know that. With his family around him, Adams uttered his last words.

Now, you’re probably wondering what’s up with the history lesson. Well, believe it or not, it applies to this week’s “How I Met Your Mother.” As you recall, the last episode ended with the shocking news that Marshall’s beloved father died. And that is where our episode starts this week…
In a nice touch, there is no cold opening and the episode starts with just the theme music.

Future!Ted tells his children that when a friend experiences a lost such as Marshall’s, you rush to help that friend until you realize you don’t know how. We return to Marshall’s childhood home in Minnesota as people mill about in black. In the center are four of our five man band. Lily, Barney and Ted are unsure about how to help at the wake but Robin has things under control. She’s been to a funeral or two and has packed everything Marshall could need that day. Lily watched Judy, who has been going nonstop since her husband died. She decides to try and get Judy to take it easy. Ted and Barney decide to make Marshall laugh and they know how. Videos of men getting hit in the nuts.

Robin soon proves she really does have everything. She sets up some funeral guests with what they want and Ted compares her to Mary Poppins. If Mary Poppins peddled drugs. Robin begs to differ, recalling the entirety of the “Jolly Holiday” sequence in the movie.

Meanwhile, the reverend who is supposed to say the funeral has to leave as his daughter is in labor. But he’s leaving his son in charge. This upsets Marshall as the reverend’s son tortured him in school. Barney and Ted try to cheer him up by showing him a video, but Marshall will not be swayed. The humor comes when we spot the reverend’s son—and he’s as tall as Marshall’s thigh. Marshall is still terrified of him and Reverend Tiny Douche enjoys this.

In the kitchen, Lily discovers her purpose for the day. As she offers to help Judy, the woman snaps at Lily and lets loose some anger. While Lily looks ready to cry, Judy’s ready for a nap. Ecstatic, Lily rushes out to tell Robin. Robin isn’t sure how this is good news, but Lily goes on—it’s the first time she’s seen Judy sleep since they’ve arrived in Minnesota. Lily declares that she will be Judy’s bitch. As she declares this, Judy comes up with a woman Robin had assisted earlier. The woman is a cousin and she is 15. Judy wants to know why she’s drunk. Robin asks if everyone is so tall in Minnesota before Lily takes the blame. Judy yells at Lily before lunging for a nearby salad. Lily is happy that she got Judy to eat.

While Ted and Barney work to make Marshall laugh, Reverend Tiny Douche could careless about the Eriksens’ grief. He decides to go through some of his dad’s methods, one of which is asking about the deceased last words. This starts the Eriksens thinking about their father’s last words to them while Reverend Tiny Douche complete misses the touching moments and decides just to throw in a few jokes. He leaves, but the family still reminisces. Well, at least Judy and two of her sons do. And since at least one of them is married with kids, where are they?

Anyway, Marshall is upset as he tries to recall his father’s last words to him. And it keeps getting worse—from Marshall denying his father a pork chop, to dissing plane food, to a string of (positive) racial stereotypes, to the advice to rent Crocodile Dundee 3. To Marshall, though, that last one isn’t so bad. He calls it the second best of the trilogy. As he comes to terms with that being his father’s last words, his phone registered a voicemail. It was from his father.

It would seem Marshall’s phone had been dead for sometime, despite the fact that he had used it while leaving MacLaren’s. Continuity, showrunners. You’re better than this. Anyway, he’s too scared to listen to the voicemail. Barney tells him not to put too much stock in last words. He recalls American  Revolutionary hero Nathan Hale and his last words. We cut to NPH playing Hale declaring “My one regret is that I have but one life to lose for my country.” Barney insists that those weren’t his real last words, but rather we cut back to NPH as Hale blubbering like a baby. “I peed my pants” is more like it. But Marshall asks the others to think of what their fathers’ last words to them would be at this point and how they feel.

Ted recalls visiting his father at his bachelor pad and how his dad has regressed to his post-college bachelor days. We see an uncomfortable Ted thank his dad for being able to talk about their sex lives. Candidly. Dad then mentions a girl that Ted recognizes as his date to prom. Dad wants to know how far she went with Ted that night.

Lily recalls a phone call she got from her father. It turns out he’s forgotten to pay his taxes…for the past twenty-five years. So, he’s in a federal prison and needs bail. The good news is he’s come up with another game! It’s called Tax Evasion and it’s for children six to ten. I know a few children in my area that might like to play that…just saying. Lily pretends to be the answering machine and hangs up.
Robin’s father just lets out this ugly diatribe at her, in which he calls her worthless and a disappointment. He then wishes her a happy birthday. Lily says that’s horrible but Robin tells her it gets worse. “You remembered my birthday!” an ecstatic Robin exclaims.

Ouch.

Barney says he used to envy the four of them because they knew who their dads were. Now, he doesn’t as he’ll never have to worry about last words.

Marshall agonizes over whether or not to listen to his father’s last words all through the church service. As he listened to his father and brothers share their last experiences with his dad, Marshall runs out of the church with his friends close behind him. He decides to listen to the voicemail and they support him. He dials and quickly puts down the phone. “It was a pocket dial.” Marshall finally lets all his grief out about his dad being his hero and his best friend. He yells that when he wants to hear his father’s voice one last time, all he’ll have is his pocket.

As Marshall is ranting and yelling to the heavens, the message continues to play on speaker. His dad realizes his butt dialed his son and then proceeds to tell Marshall how great it was to spend time with him. His last words are “I love you.”

Much better than the poor Adams children, who had to listen to their father moan about a frenemy instead.

This calms down Marshall, who has the final words he longs for. He’s ready to face the crowd and give his eulogy. Instead of his dad’s true last words, Marshall tells the “Crocodile Dundee III” story, which gets a laugh from the congregation. Judy then leans over and tells Lily that she (Judy) knows what she (Lily) is up to. And she thanks Lily before insulting her one last time. I think the two have reached a new chapter in their relationship.

As the funeral ends, we see Robin, Ted and Lily calling their own respective dads. Barney, meanwhile, calls his mother and says he’s ready to meet his dad.

In the end, the gang regroups in Marshall’s old living room as he wishes he could watch Crocodile Dundee III. Robin pulls it from her bag. She does have everything!

This was a poignant episode, carried off with the right amount of humor. I think  the episode captured the awkward feeling one has at a friend’s relative’s funeral where you don’t know what to do to help the grieving friend. I, though, kept thinking that Marshall’s anxiety over his father’s last words could’ve been ended sooner. He did have that heartfelt talk with his parents, his father, in the previous episode. That had to count for something, right? I also liked how they are progressing Barney’s storyline as well. Now, let’s give Ted a storyline!

Please?

Quote of the Episode

"You're like Mary Poppins if her bag was also filled with drugs."--Ted to Robin