The Superbowl Shuffle

“Single Ladies” play while Kurt dances with back up dancers. He imitates Beyonce’s music video. He has a sequined glove. Mike O’Malley is his dad? Awesome. He asks what his son is playing and Kurt lies that it is what the jocks wear to practice. Tina and…Britt…lie that he is on the football team. The kicker. Dad buys it. And asks to get a ticket.

Will helps Terri through Lamaze. Kendra, her sister, berates him. Calls him too nice. Terri tries to avoid Will touching her stomach and pretends to have a craving. She confesses to her sister that she’s not pregnant. Kendra convinces her sister to remain deceptive. It’ll help the marriage, she claims.

Will spots Emma and Coach eating together, tries to avoid them but they are the best option in the teacher’s room. Emma talks about the evening news. We zoom to the news where they introduce Jane, who has her own segment. She talks about how caning works. She wants to bring it back. Will is surprised that she got her own segment. Jane says it’s because she’s a local celebrity. And says the overnights were through the roof about her segment. She insults Emma, Coach and Will before leaving for an interview.

Glee time! Will surprises Rachel by giving “Tonight” to Tina. She reminds him that she claimed anything from “West Side Story” at the age of one, talking about Natalie Wood. Umm, Rachel, you do know that Natalie Wood didn’t sing Maria in the movie right? That it was Marni Nixon, singing voice to the famous? When Will says that others need their time to shine and that Tina is keeping the role, Rachel storms out. Glee is apparently used to her diva tantrums.

Meanwhile, Kurt asks Finn for help.

Football practice. Finn gets Kurt a try out. Jock mocks Finn. Coach yells at his kicker and demotes him to water boy. Ouch. Kurt runs up and says that he is “audition for the part of kicker.” Coach allows him and Kurt dances on the field to “Single Ladies.” He kicks and scores. Everyone is surprised. Coach is thrilled. Meanwhile, Jane gets hate mail about her pro-littering stance. The station manager reminds Sue she is famous because she’s a champion. And he’s heard that her cheerleaders are defecting to show choir. Jane needs to win another championship to keep her status.

In other news, Prissy is pregnant. Apparently, Finn’s driving trauma isn’t working on calming little Finn down. He learns this in Prissy’s hot tub, even as she yells, “Think of the mail! Think of the mail!” And apparently, she’s now pregnant. And Finn’s stupid enough to believe he could impregnate her in the hot tub. He probably also believes you can get herpes from a public toilet.

Jane goes to visit Sandy, who has a doll collection. Creepy. He serves her tea and bemoans his life. Jane offers him control of the arts program. Turns out, she has blackmail on Principal Figgins. They focus on Glee and Rachel. They tempt her with Cabaret and Celine Dion. She performs “Taking Chances” and Sandy gives her Sally. She’s excited. Rachel, you do know that Sally is supposed to be a B-rate singer, right?

Will flips out and goes to tell Rachel he needs her. She thinks Will hates her. He tells her he is trying to make everyone work as hard as her. It’s Sandy v. Will while Rachel asks why he hurts her to make other feel good. He asks her to come to Glee rehearsal before she leaves.

Tina sings “Tonight.” She’s very good. Tina needed a spotlight song. Tina critiques herself but Will gives her a pep talk. She offers the song to Rachel. Finn cries into Will’s shoulder. They go for food and discuss Prissy’s pregnancy. He doesn’t like the future he sees now. Finn says he needs a football scholarship. But the team sucks. So he wants Will to teach the football team how to dance. It’ll help the team win while recruiting new guys to Glee.

Will tells Terri about Prissy. She gets an idea. You know where this is going if you’ve ever watched a soap opera.

Nigel Barker in a camera commercial with Peyton Manning and Justin Timberlake!

Jock is not happy with learning how to dance. Coach supports it. Pride was lost when they lost to the school for the deaf. Will and Kurt lead the guys through the choreography. Coach ends practice. When Jock says Finn is in love with Kurt, Finn spills about Prissy. Turns out Prissy and Jock slept together. Still can’t believe Finn believed the “I got pregnant because of your sperm in the hot tub” myth. Prissy runs crying in the rain to her car, where Terri is waiting. She gives Prissy neo-natal vitamins. Prissy is confused.

Football game. Emma cleans a seat before Will takes it. The school needs a new version of the National Anthem. Jock uses “gay” a lot and the team is unsure of the dancing. They get creamed. Mike O’Malley shows up. Kurt’s excited. Fourth quarter. Finn calls a time out. He tells the team to do the dancing. Jock agrees after silencing a heckler from the opposing team with the information he had sex with the player’s mother. “Single Ladies” plays, throwing off the defense. Offense starts to dance. Mike can’t believe what he’s seeing. Finn makes his play. Touchdown! Emma and Will have a Moment. Game is tied, Kurt needs to kick the conversion to win. The crowd is hushed. He dances, he kicks and scores! Go Kurt! He’s a hero. Prissy kisses Finn while Jock looks downtrodden.

Mike tells Kurt he’s proud of him. Looks like Mom is dead. Poor Kurt. Kurt comes out to his father, who says he’s known since Kurt was three. And yay, supportive dad. That’s refreshing and sweet.

At school, Finn gives Prissy his old baby blanket. He promises to be a good father. Jock mocks Prissy’s weight, Finn stands up for her and Jock backs down. Three football players (including Jock) join Glee. Will lets Tina keep “Tonight.” Rachel quits Glee for Cabaret full time. Jane tells everyone to act like they are being cheered.

Next week: CHENO!

Quote of the episode: “If I was out to get you, I’d have you pickled in a mason jar on my shelf by now.” –Jane to Will

Enjoy the Kurt/football/dancing storyline? Seeing how the Terri/Prissy’s pregnancy storyline will play out already?