Let's Play Catch-Up

Oh, Hannah’s moose story.

Yes, it’s the clip show…In case you missed it. Tyra’s brought us back to the Top Model Industries, Alpha J and Beta Jay. We some shots of Sheena posing and saying she obviously started copying the Kama Sutra. Well, that explains the hooch designation.

Ooh, unknown scene. The girls get a clutch. One contains a key. The girl who gets that bag gets to have her choice of bed—even if someone claimed it. There would only be 13 beds. Nikeysha—she of the talking—gets the key. Hannah is amazed by the bed while Samantha realizes she’s odd-woman-out when it comes to beds. She claims a rug. Don’t worry, Sam, you’ll get ShaRaun’s bed soon enough.

Remember Ed Alonzo? Well, he pulls Joslyn up on stage and borrows her shoes. He makes them disappear…on to the floor. BUSTED! “My name is Sharaun and I am America’s Next Top Model.” Seeing that again, she definitely deserved the Miss America title more than Whitney or even Cassanda (Cycle 5—and she was a beauty pageant contest!). And we say good-bye to ShaRaun…Hey Sam, there’s a bed!

Elina v. Sheena! Elina tries to argue that meat is eating a dead body while Sheena points out we become the soil when we die. Elina brushes her off as Sheena says she’ll respect Elina’s opinion—only if Elina respects hers. Elina leaves. The girls then start rapping in the pool which leads to a “sisterly” fight between Brittany and Isis. Eventually, baby powder keeps going while Brittany insists they are sisters.

McKey explains that she doesn’t like to be girly, which Brittany says means she doesn’t want to be a model. Cage Girl correctly argues that models don’t have to be girly-girls. She decides to make friends by cooking for everyone. It works on everybody except Clark, who says she sees right through it. Oh and Nikeysha’s talking…including over the credits. Still my favorite part of this cycle!

Oh, Snow Tyra. I hope they show this entire thing again because it was hilarious. Hannah asks how to “smile with your eyes,” leading to a demonstration. And making her Tyra’s new best friend. And then she gets to talk about being ugly pretty. Aww…no Prince Couture? What’s Ms. J doing with Tyra in the magical mirror? Hey, bring her back! She has better ideas! Wow, they really all cried. WHY DIDN’T WE SEE THIS? I LOVE a good makeover meltdown. They started to dye Sheena’s hair but it was falling out. Ms. J is shocked. And Elina decided her hair looked like a cat named Sherry.

Party time! And Sam wears one of the tiaras. That’s great. Sheena starts to dance, leading to a hysterical confessional from Brittany and Isis. Tyra recounts the bathing suit photo shoot and Brittany’s elimination. Wasted potential? Harsh, Tyra voiceover, harsh.

Hannah had a jar of Alaska Pixie Dust that gets the girls curious. Sam thinks she’s supporting “her state of…ice.” Hannah explains that her mom made it to protect her from mean girls and getting her feelings hurt. I guess that didn’t work when she was being accused of being a racist. Or from this runway challenge. Oh no, do we have to listen to Jeremy Scott rant about Samantha’s walk again? Hannah is sent home and she says her walk can only improve. Elina talks about the other contestants while Marjorie confesses she feels Elina is arrogant.

Meanwhile, we relive through Joslyn’s near-drowning while Nigel is like, “LOOK SEXY WHILE DROWNING!” as well as Isis trying to hide her junk. Her nerves show on her face. Oh, right, this was Clark’s only fantastic shoot. And take it away, Jeremy Scott… Once he is done, Isis is sent home. Oh, Isis and your crazy earrings.

Top Models in Action: Nicole, Cycle 5 winner! She looks good—and I’ll be looking up some new Sketcher ads to see her.

Tyra says that ANTM cares about the environment and shows Clark, Sam and Lauren Brie taking a bath together. Sam says she enjoys the bonding and goes with the flow. However, they don’t want to bond with bees. Cage Girl doesn’t like bees but doesn’t want them killed in an inhumane condition. Clark tries to kill it but Cage Girl tries to save it. She sits with it as it dies. Aww. Back to the Attack of the 60 Foot Model, with Jay trying to coach Joslyn and Clark. The judges worry about Joslyn but send Clark home. She wore the tiara as well? Now we revisit Kim and Sarah Round Two? Elina confesses how much she misses Clark. She says she’s angry but doesn’t…really…come across as angry. Must be those control issues.

But apparently Clark and Elina weren’t the only Kim and Sarah Round Two. Sam is upset at how close Analeigh and Marjorie are. We cut from Sam slapping a cut screen of Analeigh and Marjorie being all buddy-buddy to McKey keeping up her fitness regime, including squats across the lawn. We go back to last week’s episode, the awards show shoot. And Lauren Brie became the latest model on the chopping block. Good-bye, Cari Dee 2.

Seven remain: Marjorie, Sheena, Elina, Samantha, Analeigh, Joslyn and McKey. Who will be America’s Next Top Model? I’m rooting for Marjorie. I’m going to say it’ll be and Elina, Marjorie and Joslyn top three, Elina and Marjorie in the top two.

Who are your picks for top three, final two and the winner? Talk to me.