The Monstrous Models?

Last week: Runway! Joslyn won, Hannah got sent home. Sam pissed off the designer. Nigel shot the girls in a pool, focusing on just their eyes. The designer was still pissed off at Sam, landing her in the bottom two with Isis. However, our favorite transgendered model was sent packing for not standing out. Nine girls remain! Who gets the stiletto-heeled boot tonight?

The girls come home to Clark’s picture. Elina, whose face graced the screen the week before, ask her how it feels. Clark says it feels awesome. She confesses that being so low made her throw caution to the wind and just go for it. And now she gets to stare at herself while the girls keep asking her how it feels. She jokes that it’s lonely at the top, but in a way that makes you wonder just how much of it is a jest. Meanwhile, Sam reminds us that she pissed off the designer last time and she went from the top to the bottom. But she says she can’t focus on that and has to remain positive.

You know who isn’t remaining positive? Marjorie. She talks with BFF Analeigh, who says she’s trying to remain positive. Marjorie says she can’t and thinks it is cultural. She knows she has the potential and she knows the judges see her potential, but she psyches herself out. She—correctly—points out its hard not to be nervous, especially around the judges. But Analeigh—correctly—points out Marjorie has to think herself as one of them. Joslyn isn’t so confident either as she calls home to her…sister? Seriously. Sounds like her mom. Anyway, sister tells her to do better. Brilliant advice.

TYRA MAIL! “Just because it doesn’t fit, doesn’t mean you should be closed-minded.” The girls wonder what that means before loading up the bus. They go to a construction site and watch a shadowed figure come down on the freight elevator. Ooh, is it Janice? Anyone else miss her? No, it’s Paulina wearing…something that would look good if it wasn’t ten sizes too big. She tells the girls that they will be doing catalogue mostly and have to wear clothes that don’t fit. She reaches into her Mary Poppins bag to pull out things that will help—shoulder pads, water bottle, and duct tape. Duct tape solves everything. She tells the girls to get ready and meet her upstairs.

The girls troop upstairs in hot pink hard hats and tool belts. Paulina tells them they have five minutes to change into their assigned outfits and then make them fit. They do so as Marjorie looks nervous just to be in the same room as Paulina. She says she can’t see the judges as people she can talk to. Paulina calls time and looks at the girl. She’s impressed with Lauren Brie and McKey. She notes where Elina and Sam changed the look of the outfit. Clark confesses she was thinking of her grandmother, looking in the catalogue, which is why she left her outfit a bit loose. And then Paulina gets to Marjorie, pointing out where our favorite Frenchwoman could’ve tightened the outfit up. Marjorie interviews that she felt awkward there and after Paulina’s done, goes back to her corner. Paulina says she has to figure out who did the best, but is more concerned for Marjorie. She says the girl looks like she’s going to throw up. Commercials.

When we come back, we get shots of LA and then a lone shoe. Did a cameraman get fancy? Anyway, Paulina is still trying to figure out what is wrong with Marjorie. The girls say it’s nerves, but once Marjorie starts to explain, Paulina understands. She explains to the girls that in Europe, there is more of a rejection mentality—you’re just going to reject me anyway, so I’ll do it for you. We don’t have that here in America, in fact, we bust into a room and go, “I’m here, love me!” Paulina tells Marjorie to fake it like she does while the girls still don’t seem to get it. Sam confesses that Marjorie has to stop it and that she’s in America now so act like it. And then people wonder why the rest of the world hates us.

Paulina gets back on track, telling Sam she did the worst. But the winner is Cage Girl! She gets 50 extra frames in the next photo shoot. She’s excited. Paulina explains why Cage Girl won and then leaves. The girls glare at McKey, who smiles.

TYRA MAIL! “Are you a force natural, a devastating beauty or a total disaster? Love, Tyra.” The girls figure they will be natural disasters, like tornadoes. Anyone else think that if that’s the case, it’s a bit insensitive, even for Tyra?

Anyway, the house decides to gang up on Marjorie because that’s SO going to get her confidence up. She tries to explain that it’s just part of who she is. The others say that that means she doesn’t want to be there. Marjorie counters that if she didn’t want it, she wouldn’t be so stressed. Makes perfect sense to me. She says she’d continue to explain it, but Paulina did so and the girls are still ignoring it. Sam even admits it. Honestly, can we send Sam to Europe and see how well she adapts to a different culture? No wait, that might start a war. Never mind. And they thought Hannah was a bigot.

The girls go for their photo shoot. There’s a cardboard city, much like the set for all of the battles in Power Rangers (remember the first time you noticed they were cardboard?). The lights cut out and then…Cousin Itt from Cycle 5 comes looking for Lisa. Sam says it is like a cross between Alien and Predator. Ehh, more looks like a cross between Wild Thing and It Came From the Black Lagoon. Oh, wait, it’s just Mr. Jay. He says the girls will be dressed as monsters destroying LA. Sounds like fun and not as insensitive. He says the goal is to still shine through no matter how much hair and makeup they have on. He introduces their photographer, Brian Edwards, and sends them to hair and make up. Christian Marc makes sure they know about ‘60s fashion. They nod, especially Elina. Hey, who is Analeigh hugging back there?

Elina (Earthquake): Jay tries to get Elina out of her comfort zone. And that is…punching a Hot Wheels race track. Huh.

Sheena (Sandstorm): Not much. Jay was just glad for variety, though he said it kinda flatly.

Clark (Blackout): That’s hard to pull off. No wonder Clark is struggling. He tells us he would rather have some come with too much energy than too little.

Lauren Brie (Snowstorm): Jay tells her to not “throw then pose” but “throw and pose.” While he doesn’t say too much after, he doesn’t look too thrilled.

Joslyn (Rockslide): Jay wants Joslyn to get the variety she had back. She says she’s trying really hard.

Analeigh (Santa Ana Winds): Actually blows Jay away—figuratively speaking, of course. She rocks a blow drier.

McKey (Heat wave): After some jokes about how short her outfit is, she brings it to the set. Mr. Jay is ecstatic.

Samantha (Tidal Wave): She splashes around in a pool and Jay loves it. Sam’s happy since she was in the bottom two last week and needs to get a good shot.

Marjorie (Traffic Jam): Not the best of the day. Mr. Jay is upset he had to position her, but he did tell her to drop the broke-down Barbie look. That’s her trademark, Jay! Don’t you watch panel footage?

She comes back, all depressed. Sam isn’t too sympathetic. Marjorie mopes some more. The girls go home and fritter about who will go home. Clark says she hopes it isn’t her and then reminds us she had the first photo last week. At least she admits she’s been staring at it. She says Lauren Brie, apparently her BFF, can’t go home either. Marjorie asks Joslyn if she’s nervous. Joslyn says she is, just because she feels she’s slipping. The girls load up the bus as Sam says she knows she’s staying but it’s up to the judges. The cameraman and the editing department are both getting fancy. Wow.

The girls file in. Tyra starts singing at them. She says there are prizes, there are judges, Ms. J’s bling can be seen from the International Space Station, and the guest judge is Brian Edwards. He got the job because Tyra was hanging around Elite Model Management and saw his pictures of Cycle 8 winner Jaslene (hi, Jaslene!). Marjorie is first and the judges L-O-V-E her shot, though Tyra notes that it took a while to find it and tells her to not stay in pretty so long if it doesn’t work. Lauren Brie needs to vary her poses. After around of charades, Sam gets good remarks all around. Clark doesn’t get good remarks and is told she acts too pretty. Elina gets praised for being “ugly pretty” (right up there with “smiling with your eyes”). Nigel likes Sheena’s picture, Tyra doesn’t like Sheena’s shirt. Brian Edwards tells her to not let her energy die out. Analeigh gets praised but told to do more with her face. Tyra praises her for great film. Ms. J notes that Joslyn has been slipping while Brian says he struggled with her shoot. Nigel didn’t like Cage Girl’s photo but Tyra loved it. But she would’ve loved it more if McKey had really exaggerated.

Top Models in Action! Nigel tells s about Eugena, from Cycle 7, she of the dead eyes. However, she managed to get to the top 3 and now works ad campaigns and fashion shows. Way to go, Eugena. Almost makes up for the fact you were friends with Crazy Monique.

The judges deliberate as Nigel points out that Paulina always defends Marjorie. With that hair, does anyone think Sam’s shot reminds them of Twiggy back in her hey-day? Tyra feels Clark is a mediocre good.

ELIMINATION! First person called and the mug the girls get to stare out next week: Samantha’s. Seriously? I thought Cage Girl did better. Followed by: Analeigh, McKey, Elina, Marjorie, Lauren Brie, and Sheena. Clark and Joslyn are in the bottom two. Joslyn’s been slipping as the competition goes on. Clark was okay, gave a great photo, but not fantastic work. Who goes home? Clark. Joslyn’s personality save her. Clark is told to stop being pretty and then leaves.

I wish I could say I was sad, but I never did care for Clark. However, she was the closest thing to being the cycle bitch. Now someone else will have to step it up. I’m thinking Sam could do it.

Next week: Tyra teaches the girls about “signature posing” and Elina has difficulty at the photo shoot.