Sunday, October 31, 2010

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

See above title! I hope your day is filled with candy, kids in cute costumes, and pumpkins while your night is filled with alcohol, adults in costumes and ghosts! Everyone has their favorite Halloween movie and I’m no different. Now, I’m not a horror fan. I particularly hate guts and gore. In fact, amongst some of my friends, my “gore blanket” is well known—it’s a blanket I clutch and used to hide if I’m forced to watch something gory (Note: This can include particularly nasty episodes of CSI). My favorite Halloween movie therefore is the classic “Hocus Pocus”!

The story starts in 1693—Salem, Massachusetts. As something flies by his window, young Thackery Binx (Sean Murray now Agent Timothy McGee on NCIS, voiced by Jason Marsden) awakens to discover his sister Emily is missing. He is disheartened to see Emily heading into the woods, to the house of the apparently only real witches in Salem. These are the Sanderson sisters—Winifred (Bette Midler), Mary (Kathy Najimy) and Sarah (Sarah Jessica Parker). They want to be young again and create a potion to suck Emily’s youth from her. Thackery tries to rescue her but gets turned into a cat. Fortunately, the villagers show up and hang the sisters for witchcraft. But Winifred vows that they will return!

Fast-forward 300 years. Max (Omri Katz) has just moved from California to Salem with his family. He hasn’t handled it well and doesn’t understand why the town is still so into Halloween. His little sister Dani (Thora Birch) drags him trick or treating because Mom and Dad are going to a town party at town hall. They end up at a mansion belonging to Allison (Vinessa Shaw), the girl Max has a crush on. She offers to bring them to the Sandersons’ cottage where Max lights a candle. And thus brings back Winifred, Mary and Sarah. The witches want to continue their interrupted plans on becoming younger and decide to start with Max, Allison and Dani. They are being aided by Winifred’s (and Sarah’s) former lover Billy, come back from the dead. The kids have an ally in Binx the cat, who has survived 300 years.

Hijinks and musical numbers ensue.

When the movie first came out, my parents wouldn’t let me see it because they thought it would be scary. I saw it at a friend’s house shortly after it was released on VHS, went home and told my parents it wasn’t scary—it was funny! There may be some scenes that could scare young children—the entire climax takes place in a graveyard. But the performances are great, especially from the three witches. It’s a classic, great for the whole family (even if the Nostalgia Chick is right about how obsessed the movie is with virginity and portraying it in a bad light), and not so spooky.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Who’s Your Daddy?

This Monday saw “Stomach Bug 2: Return of the Stomach Bug” for me. But I managed to see “How I Met Your Mother” so, another recap given from the best of my ability!

Pretty much the main focus of the episode was on Lily and Marshall. Which also means it was on their quest to have a child. You see, they go visit friends who have just had a baby themselves and can’t seem to name the child without arguing. Lily and Marshall don’t think they’ll have that problem…but they do. Lily can’t seem to find a name that doesn’t remind her of a troublemaker from her class. This leads to a bigger rift: the baby’s gender. Marshall reveals to Ted he doesn’t want a girl—he’d be too worried about being that girl’s dad. He thinks of his daughter as high school boys serenade her about how much they want her or…worse…that girl working at a strip club. But wait! There’s more to THAT particular nightmare! The girl ends up dating Barney in an awesome, true-to-character move. By the end, she ends up marrying Barney as a crying Lily and Marshall look on in horror.

But it turns out the Eriksens always produce males. And Papa Eriksen is more than willing to pass on the tips for producing boys. Almost desperate, in fact. Like he doesn’t even want to consider a granddaughter. Anyway, the tips involve avoiding lemons (apparently, they are baby girl fertilizers), eating pickled herring before conception, dunking his “man sack” in a bucket of ice (at this point, Marshall’s mother comes in with the line “Oh, you boys and your football.” It’s hysterical) and then to point Lily due North. When he does, he discovers the basket of lemons by Lily’s side of the bed. Turns out that while Marshall was panicking about having a girl, Lily was worried about having a boy. All the troublemakers in her class tend to be boys. So, she’s been eating lemons, heating up her “lady bits” to a toasty 105 degrees Fahrenheit and pointing South to ensure a girl. Fortunately, they realize they are being silly.

They go back to visit their feuding friends, who have stopped squabbling after a scare with their baby. Turns out the hospital wouldn’t admit their baby without a name and the two realized what complete douches they were being. So, they named their daughter Esther. Lily and Marshall decide to forget about worrying about sex and decide to pick a name that could work either way. They decide on Jamie.

And starring in the “B” plot: Robin, Ted and Robin’s annoyingly perky co-anchor Becky (Laura Bell Bundy). At first, Becky was more like Elle Woods (who Bundy played on Broadway)—the smart person hidden behind the blonde ditz. But this episode reveals she’s just a blonde ditz who acts like a little girl. We see her complaining that all the news stories are sad while Mike just keeps the camera zoomed on her. Robin even asks if she can get in the shot and we see the camera shake “no.” But that’s not all. Turns out Becky shows up to give Robin some chocolate chip cookies (except Becky uses gummy bears) and meets Ted. They go on a few dates, much to Robin’s annoyance. In fact, she doesn’t understand why guys are attracted to women who act like little girls. Finally, Ted reveals its because it makes men feel needed. Which Ted never felt while dating Robin.

This causes Robin to feel bad, so she goes to ask Barney if he felt the same during their relationship. Barney says yes, but that it was what he loved the most about her. They have an adorable moment in which you feel the chemistry between the two again. Then Barney asks Robin to help him. You see, while Robin was pointing out that women don’t go for men who act like little boys, Barney took it as a challenge. He spent the entire episode speaking like a little boy and getting nowhere. When he finally throws in the towel, he finds a woman who likes to role-play “Mother and Child” in the bedroom. But now he needs Robin to get the woman out. She agrees to do so. Meanwhile, Ted has an epiphany while out with Becky. As she licks her ice cream cone, he ties her shoe…only to spy a father doing the same for his young daughter. He stands up and walks away.

Oh! And Lily rules out “Jamie” as a name for their future child. We see paint on her butt as she walks away. Lily, maybe you should stop painting. Or wear a smock like my teachers did while we had paint. Seriously.

I’d Do Anything…

My recaps of “How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?” never materialized thanks to a family vacation and my old laptop’s slow death. But, BBC-America is now airing “I’d Do Anything”—the 2008 search for Nancy in Cameron MacIntosh’s revival of “Oliver!” Andrew Lloyd Webber is back along with judges John Barrowman and Denise van Outen with Graham Norton hosting the live events again.

Last night was the casting episode and I have made it very, very clear how much I loathe casting episodes. So, tune in next week for the first (not-so) live show. I hope those of you who liked my Joseph recaps will also like my Nancy ones as well!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Skating the Day Away…

Last week on Top Model: The girls got a chance to become a Grammy girl. They had to dress each other up, which didn’t please Chelsey who decided to pair with Ann. I’d be more sympathetic if Chelsey just didn’t go with whoever was standing next to her! Kayla wins in the end, which makes her cry. At the photoshoot, the girls have to embody different designers. Liz knocks Ann off the top spot while Esther and Kendal landed in the bottom two. In the end, Tyra felt Kendal was the “noun” and not the “verb” and she was sent home. Who will go home tonight? Find out!

Wanna be on top?

LA! Someone jokes that there’s a man in the kitchen…then says it’s just Liz’s picture. Liz celebrates while Ann starts to get a little nervous. Esther worries because she was in the bottom two and says she needs to show more personality. Esther sounds like she has a cold.

TYRA MAIL! “To be a top model, you will need help with posen.” I was thinking Benny Ninja, not Ms. J. But the girls will be doing a fashion show for designer Zac Posen. Wow. Chelsey nearly dies. He tells them they will be modeling with professional models, which scares and excites Ann. The girls look like they are attending story time at the library. Esther asks about Zac’s favorite models. He says he likes the ones with attitude. He keeps mentioning attitude. They bid the girls goodnight.

The next morning, the Model Mobile takes the girls to their fashion show. This is, of course, a challenge. The winner will get five looks from Zac Posen’s collection. He talks about making clothes for a diversity of body types. Ahh, Tyra must like them. Ms. J talks to the professional models and tells them to be the mean girls to shake up the wannabes. Meanwhile, the girls show off their walks for Zac. The other models make snide comments, like Ms. J wanted. These professionals are taking Ms. J’s instructions really to heart…Hi, Andre Leon Talley!

Jane opens the show. We next see Esther, who looks great in Zac’s dress. One model tells Liz she isn’t ready but Liz is like, “Please, bitch.” One model tells Ann not to screw it up. Ann, who looks rocking, is getting nervous as we cut to commercials.

LA! We come back as Ann steps out on to the runway. She has a few missteps. Chris nearly gets violent but remains calm as Chelsey hits the runway. Esther talks about personality on her second walk. I like Jane’s second dress. Ms. J likes Chelsey. Kayla looks good on her second turn. As the show finishes, the girls celebrate and say they are “real models now.”

They met up with Ms. J, who reveals the act as the professionals apologize. They wish the girls luck and leave. Zac enters to help judge the challenge. Ms. J tells Chris to take shorter steps. Zac tells Jane to bring the fierceness in her face to the rest of the body. Zac likes Chelsey. He tells Ann he felt she had a panic moment but she’s a rarity and he likes it. But his winner is Chelsey. She is ecstatic!

The next morning, Mr. Jay and Nigel show up for breakfast. Jane wonders if they should bother locking the door anymore. The two reveal they are doing a commercial for some fancy flavored water. And the girls will be kissing. And shooting on the beach outside their house. How convenient. Liz grabs Chris to practice kissing and she runs off. Kayla is really upset so Mr. Jay comes in. And learns that she was assaulted when she was 11 and is uncomfortable being intimate with men. She is scared.

Mr. Jay tells Kayla that he’s sorry and she reveals Mr. Jay is the first person to know about the assault. She didn’t tell anyone. He tells her she has to go to therapy and deal with it. Because she says she will turn down jobs if they require intimacy. Nigel directs them and…oh, hey, they are skates as well. Kayla is not following on the camera and she blanks on the line. She then freezes when it comes to being around the guy. But she pushes through it. Liz feels good but giggles through the shoot. Nigel isn’t impressed. Mr. Jay doesn’t feel Esther’s idea of “having fun.” He calls her flat. Nigel borrows Andre’s favorite phrase: “dreckitude.” Jane and Chelsey struggle with the roller skates. Chris rocks it. Ann worries about crashing. She looks ready to cry. Perk up, Ann. She falls down and worries she’s psyching herself out. Nigel tries to give her a pep talk. You have to laugh it off, Ann. They finally wrap it.

LA! The girls talk about how hard the commercial was. They ask Kayla about her problem with the commercial. She tells the girls about her sexual assault. She says she’s going to deal with it.

Tyra pretends her skirt is too tight but she reveals she’s “just being dumb.” There are judges: Nigel and Andre. And the guest judge is Zac Posen. There are prizes. Jane is up first. Oh, the water was fake. Good. Jane was actually very good. They like her interaction with the male model. Liz is second up. And we see the giggles. Nigel tells the judges that she was a mess. Tyra tells her she can’t blow things off while Liz cries about her daughter. Chris is up. I’d say that’s the best so far. Tyra thinks it was a tad cheesy but the judges all loved it. Ann follows. It’s awkward. And not the usual good awkward. Zac tells her to have strength and confidence. Kayla is next. Tyra thinks she looked urban and that girls could identify with her. The judges liked the beginning but not the end. I’m surprised Tyra didn’t make her mention the assault at panel. Chelsey’s commercial starts off a bit awkward but she got better as she eased into it. Esther is last up. Oops, she cursed on camera. That’s a no-no. The judges aren’t pleased. Tyra just defaults to Nigel. Then tells Esther to practice pushing past her natural muffler. But Andre likes her outfit.

The judges deliberate. Nigel mentions that he forgot Esther but Andre doesn’t think she’s the worst. Tyra worries about Jane’s ability to get booked. Nigel says he did get frustrated with Liz. ELIMINATION! The first name is Chris! Knew it! Anyway, she is joined by: Jane, Chelsey, Kayla and Liz. That puts Ann and Esther in our bottom two. Ann: She had best photo 5 weeks in a row. But she needs more than a pretty face. Esther: Beautiful, edgy pictures with a commercial appeal. She also took Tyra’s advice but is still kinda blah. So, who stays? Ann. Duh. She and Esther hug before Ann gets her picture. Tyra tells her the judges want her to stay because her awkwardness is beautiful and special.

Tyra goes to hug Esther and calls her an example of being curvy and being a model. She tells Esther to continue to pursue modeling. Esther promises she will. She says maybe she’ll get to Italian Vogue on her own.

America’s Next Top Model:

Anamaria

Ann

Chelsey

Chris

Esther

Jane

Kacey

Kayla

Kendal

Lexie

Liz

Rhianna

Sara

Terra

I knew Esther was a goner. She was a good talent, but paired in a bottom two with Ann? Oh, yeah, she was going. Here’s hoping Ann gets her nerve back. Please.

Next week: Time to go overseas! They go to Venice and Milan! But Ann has some issues.

Building or the Girl?

So, this past Monday I wasn’t feeling to well thanks to a horrible allergic reaction. I felt so horrible that, while I watched “How I Met Your Mother,” I barely had the energy or the desire to recap the episode. But here is an abridged version of the episode:

A few episodes ago, Barney got Ted a job designing Goliath National Bank’s new headquarters. In this week’s episode, Barney reveals the location of the new headquarters. It will be on the site of the old New York building the Arcadia. Ted goes down to scope out the building…

…and then tells Barney he can’t do it. He goes on to list all the reasons why the building should be preserved when the conversation is interrupted by the arrival of Lily and Marshall. Marshall is upset because he’s learned how much Robin and Lily talk about their sex lives. Robin and Max—one of Marshall’s law school buddies who was at the steakhouse last week—hit it off. But apparently, Max has a small penis. And now Marshall is just focusing on that. Ted and Barney back him up. Lily wonders about “locker room” talk. We side-swoosh to see that the locker room is generally all the guys rushing around, not making eye contact and that one old guy letting it all hang out. Lily still doesn’t believe it since no matter what, whenever she mentions a girlfriend, Barney immediately asks, “Boobs?” That’s it.

And that’s how Barney discovers the real reason why Ted won’t build GNB’s new headquarters. There’s a girl involved. And it’s Jennifer Morrison—Zoe! She talks to Ted about the building, which gets him excited. She’s beautiful and an architecture nerd. The others are cautious and Barney wonders how Zoe took the news that Ted was the one redesigning the building. He told her he was a vet. Typical Ted. Barney keeps trying to get Ted to build the headquarters, but Ted is drawn to Zoe. Especially since she shows up at his place with a van full of bunnies. They were liberated from a scientific lab. Turns out Zoe has never met a cause she won’t fight for. She’s also been arrested several times—chaining herself to a tree, setting a car on fire at a Guns and Roses concert—and wants Ted’s help to save the Arcadia.

Barney still tries to get Ted to realize it’s about Zoe, not the building. As Zoe leads a protest against the destruction of the Arcadia, Barney unveils a “Coming Soon” banner complete with Ted’s picture. Ted storms home to find Barney. And anyone who didn’t melt when they saw Neil Patrick Harris petting the bunny should check to make sure you have a heart! Especially once he declared that he was keeping the bunny because they had bonded. Ted decides to find a compromise. He goes to Zoe’s protest to show her what he’s done. He’s managed to design the headquarters around the Arcadia, preserving the ancient façade. As Zoe admires Ted’s creativity, he spots a ring on her finger. He asks if she’s married and as she absently says, “Yes,” Ted realizes Barney was right. It was never about the building. He trashes the plans, tells Zoe the building is a lost cause and agrees to redesign the building for Barney.

But Ted hadn’t seen the last of Zoe. She’s seen pelting Ted’s building with eggs.

In the Marshall/Lily/Robin/Max storyline, Marshall continues to obsess over Max’s small penis. This leads to an awkward yet incredibly funny double date scene. It also causes Marshall to imagine Lily complaining to Robin about everything he does in bed. So, he forces Lily to praise Marshall to Robin, who knows what is going on. In the end, all is well in Marshall’s world. This does strike me as a bit off as Marshall was seen in the premiere telling the entire NEIGHBORHOOD about his and Lily’s struggles to get pregnant. The only thing I could think of was that he didn’t go into too much detail, just the non-bedroom related facts. I guess.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Top Model Got the GRAMMYS?

Last week on Top Model: It was the cyclical Cover Girl shilling contest at Wal-mart! Kacey, Esther and Kayla won with Nigel liking Esther’s overall makeover the best. The girls were then taken to Rodeo Drive, where they had a photoshoot with Patrick DeMarchelier. Tyra showed up to give some pointers and to witness how horribly awkward Ann’s shoot was. But out of the awkward came brilliance as she was called first…again. Kayla and Kacey fell to the bottom but since I’m sure Tyra wants a Kayla-Ann walk off, Kacey was let go despite the fact the house bitch ALWAYS makes it overseas. Who will go tonight? Find out!

Wanna be on top?

LA! The Model Mobile hosts a “Kacey is Gone” celebration. The girls gush over how much they disliked Kacey but the girls want to take down Ann. Esther is a modern Orthodox Jew, just in case you forgot. She still eats Kosher and Chris gets a headache thinking of the rules Esther has to follow.

TYRA MAIL! “Sometimes you have to perform a duet before you get your big solo.” Huh? Tyra, no more singing and/or music videos!

The girls go to the Grammy Museum. Kayla and Liz geek out over Michael Jackson’s gloves. Mr. Jay introduces them to Neil Portdow, who talks about the Grammys. One of the girls will get to be a Grammy girl. The girls get to pair up and decide to pair up with the girl next to her. Chelsey ends up with Ann again and isn’t too thrilled again. Then switch, idiot! Mr. Jay reveals the twist—the partner will pick out what the girl wears. The girls go off to discuss their styles and preferences. Liz wants a train, Kayla wants punk rock. The girls die and go to fashion heaven, but only get ten minutes. Kayla pretty much picks opposite of what Liz wants, Chelsey tries to find something Ann can fit into height weight, Ann can only find one thing that fits what Chelsey wanted, and Jane tries to figure out Esther’s cup size. The girls meet up and try on their outfits, with Chelsey not too happy. As Ann worries, we go to commercial.

Grammy History! Liz and Kayla are up first. Liz talks about how it wasn’t what she wanted, but she still looks good. They look good. Kendal and Chris come up next. Chris talks about not walking out of the strip bar. Mr. Jay says they look like they just walked out of the club and stumbled into the Grammys. Jane trips on her way in as she and Esther come up. Esther talks about wanting to look good, but not taking the attention away from the winners. Despite Chelsey’s qualms, she actually looks good. As does Ann. Mr. Jay liked Kayla and Liz. He tells Kendal she was too quiet and nervous. He wonders if Kendal sabotaged her. Kendal denies it. Mr. Jay says Chelsey had nerves but Ann was great. But Neil thinks she’s too tall.

The winning team is Kayla and Liz. Now, Neil has to choose the Grammy girl. He’s worried that Liz is too enamored of the artists so he chooses Kayla. She cries about how she was unaccepted because of her sexuality and now she’s going to be a Grammy girl.

Liz gets depressed and gets drunk. Very drunk. Even the girls are surprised and disgusted by how drunk they got.

TYRA MAIL! “Sometimes being labeled is a good thing.”  They are stumped. To be honest, if I didn’t watch the preview, I would be too.

LA! The Model Mobile takes the girls back to Smashbox Studios and Mr. Jay blathers on about knowing every fashion designer. Each girl will be portraying fashion designers. There will also be professional female models posing with them, wearing the designs. The girls will be designed by Rushka Bergman and photographed by Francesco Carrizzini. The girls hit make up and hair.

Liz (John Galiano): They love her. Mr. Jay is scared by how much Liz embodies John.

Chelsey (Carolina Herrara): Chelsey tries to portray strong and elegant.

Chris (Betsy Johnson): They tell Chris to jump, to be crazy. Because Betsy is just crazy. Francesco loved her.

Kendal (Vera Wang): Kendal has no clue who Vera Wang is. She says she tries to be simple but Mr. Jay says it is blank. She struggles. Mr. Jay questions her passion. Uh oh.

Kayla (Vivienne Westwood): Kayla is instructed to throw flowers and they love it.

Jane (Marc Jacobs): Francesco says she was given a difficult task—a girl posing as a guy.

Ann (Alexander Wang): Since she was a tomboy, she finds it easier.

Esther (Christopher Decarnin): Also struggles with the fact she is portraying a guy.

That’s a wrap!

Esther is worried. In the true “I just have to run faster than you” fashion, she hopes someone had a worse picture. Kendal is worried as well.

I really miss Bianca and Laura.

Tyra tells Nigel talks about her first time shooting with Nigel. The girls enter. There are judges—Nigel and Andre—with Francesco as the guest judge. There are prizes. Kayla is first. She gets applause for winning the challenge. Do you think Tyra gave Kayla red hair for this? Nigel likes the picture. Tyra likes how Kayla dominates the shot. Andre likes Liz’s panel look. Francesco liked how she walked in convinced she was John. The others are impressed. Tyra likes her androgyny. Nigel thinks this was Chelsey’s best shot. He just wishes she had more charm. Andre compares it to Carolina backstage at her shows. The judges aren’t too impressed by Esther. Jane comes down and Nigel wanted more broken body. Nigel explains how Marc Jacobs is chill and gritty. Jane wasn’t. Francesco tells about how he felt she wasn’t trying hard enough. Tyra asks what is blocking her. Kendal says nerves. Nigel and Andre like her photo and Andre likes her outfit. Last up is Chris. The panel laughs at her photo but because of how crazy Betsy is. Francesco reminds her to change. Andre isn’t that impressed.

The judges deliberate. They love Kayla and Liz. Nigel doesn’t think Chelsey looks like a model. They are not impressed with Esther. Wait, Jane is the smart girl? Oh, crap…Francesco questions Kendal’s passion. Nigel likes Chris. ELIMINATION! Want to place bets first picture is Ann? Anyone? And it’s LIZ! Finally! Someone else! Anyway, joining Liz is: Kayla, Ann, Chelsey, Chris and Jane. Esther and Kendal are in the final two. Esther: Started slow but got stronger. But she slipped back and judges worry about her having one look. Kendal: She has a rare, special look. But she continues to fall. Who stays? Esther. Bye, Kendal! As Esther is told to vary up the looks and to be special, Kendal and Chris exchange looks. Tyra hugs Kendal and recalls when Kendal tells her she needs more experience. Kendal says her sisters will push her. As Kendal hugs everyone good-bye, she confesses she’s lost.

America’s Next Top Model:

Anamaria

Ann

Chelsey

Chris

Esther

Jane

Kacey

Kayla

Kendal

Lexie

Liz

Rhianna

Sara

Terra

So someone else FINALLY got first picture. I love Ann and firmly believe she can win, but still—I want to be surprised.

Next week: Zac Posen lets the girls into his fashion show while Kayla has a break down at a photoshoot.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

“I’m No Diva, but I Feel Like One”

Last week on Top Model: The girls had a runway challenge on a moving conveyor belt. Hilarity ensued but Kacey managed to stay the most balanced. But Kacey and Lexie went for round two, which Liz jumped into. Then at their Mexican wrestling editorial shoot, Ann thought she did horribly. The judges thought differently and Miss Ann got a Top Model first—being called first for four weeks in a row! Meanwhile, Lexie and Jane fell into the bottom two. But Lexie was sent packing, so Liz will have to provoke our house bitch from now on. Nine wannabes remain, who’ll go tonight? Find out!

Wanna be on top?

LA! The Model Mobile takes the girls home after elimination. Kayla talks about growing up in poverty while someone points out that Ann is the last of the “Quirkies” now that Lexie and Rhianna are gone. But Ann is ready to burst into “I Feel Pretty” but instead cries. Chelsey calls this competition her last chance. Really, hunny, this?

TYRA MAIL! DING DONG! It takes the girls a few minutes to realize the door bell actually rang. They run to the door to find Cover Girl products. Jane reads the instructions—pretty much, Cover Girl shilling time! Team 2: Kacey, Esther, and Kayla. We get a recap of how much everyone hates Kacey. Team 1: Ann, Kendal and Jane. Ann worries that she’ll actually have to address the public as she’s so shy. Team : Liz, Chris and Chelsey. They break out the index cards. Chelsey likes her group.

Oh, Wal-Mart. Nigel meets them in front of an inflatable tent in the parking lot. Wal-Mart doesn’t even want them in the store? Anyway, Ann’s worst nightmare comes true as they have to address the public. Some “lucky” Wal-Mart customers will be their victims and the winners get a shopping spree in the Cover Girl aisle. Yay? Anyway, I guess this takes place after the store closes? The first victims approach as Kendal uses Ann as a model. Look happy, Ann! Look happy! Easy. breezy, beautiful, girl! Kendal and Jane rock it. The poor souls move to Kacey’s group. Esther and Kacey handle most of the talking before Kayla addresses the girls who aren’t so into make-up. Team 3 is last. Chris shills Wal-Mart. Chelsey is upset that Chris stole the show. Nigel thanks the victims and takes the girls outside.

He introduces them to some guy in a suit who was watching them the entire time. He is Derek Blasburg, a fashion journalist. Nigel is going to interview the guinea pigs and get to watch it on a video. This could take a while, folks. So expect a lot of quick cuts! Editing department, to arms!

Commercial.

And we’re back to Wal-Mart. Well, at least they gave the girls seats. One girl says that Ann is beautiful but not present. Derek agrees. One guy said Kayla made him want to buy the product. Another woman felt Kacey was a Cover Girl. The group thought Chris was too overpowering but Chelsey tried. Each girl was scored. Ann was the lowest and gets the personable talk. Group two wins while Kacey had the highest score. She uses it to prove she wasn’t a bitch while Liz said it was just because she was fake and loud. The girls go on their shopping spree and are tempted to just throw everything into the bag. Nigel likes Esther’s makeover the best and she gets a Wal-Mart gift card.

TYRA MAIL! “Tomorrow will be no walk of shame but rather a Walk of Fame.” The girls are hoping for some celebrities. Ann is still getting over her bad comments but knows it’s something she has to work on.

The models get on the Model Mobile and meet Mr. Jay on Rodeo Drive. Lori Goldstein will be their fashion stylist. Patrick DeMarchelier will be their photographer. The girls will be paired with each other and a male model. Tyra loves the male models this cycle. The girls are excited to work with Patrick DeMarchelier. I think. Mr. Jay brings the girls to his truck. Chris will be odd girl out. Liz is paired with Kendal. Chelsey is not thrilled to be paired with Ann.

We come back with Jane and Kacey as Tyra arrives. Hi, Tyra! See—Tyra stops trying to be Oprah, she comes back! Mr. Jay and Patrick didn’t like Kacey, so Tyra has to demonstrate. Patrick likes Jane, but feels more of a commercial vibe off her. They joke about Tyra’s shot, calling her America’s Next Top Model and the house bitch. Oh, Tyra. Anyway, Chelsey is still not happy about being paired with Ann. They are also getting a crowd and cameras. People also shouted their love to Tyra. Mr. Jay says that Ann was a bit stiff today. And he’s a bit disappointed with Chelsey. Tyra tells her to stop being self-conscious. Next is Kayla and Esther. Poor Kayla is in too-small shoes. As she confesses, she says her foot is really in pain. Lori loved Esther and her subtle nature. Patrick tries to work with Kayla and realizes there is a language barrier. Liz and Kendal follow them. Kendal loves that attention while Mr. Jay compares her to Sarah Jessica Parker. He feels Shaw and Kendal stole the frame from Liz. Tyra helps Liz. Chris is last solo. I love her outfit. Mr. Jay and Tyra like her.

They get poor Kayla out of her shoes as the other girls gab.

We see Tyra and Patrick conversing in French before the panel. Nigel is just there. The girls assemble as Tyra introduces the judges and Patrick is our guest judge. She then reminds us of the prizes.

Liz and Kendal are first: Nigel ignores the guy and goes straight to Kendal. Andre calls Kendal a gazelle and a model in her solo shot. Tyra praises her for showing the product. Nigel doesn’t think Liz’s is authentic and Tyra said it was almost as if she was just making fun of it.

Esther and Kayla: Nigel calls Esther engaging. Andre calls Kayla sad and in pain. Tyra tells the girls to complain to themselves and just model through. Esther’s looks like something I’ve seen in magazines. Andre calls Kayla Kate Moss’ friend leaving the party.

Jane and Kacey: Andre loves Jane, comparing her to a French model. Kacey looks snobby according to Nigel. They all love Jane’s picture and it is beautiful. There was a reason I liked her in the beginning. Kacey is in profile. Tyra points out that Kacey won but she needs to bring her personality to her photos.

Chelsey and Ann: Nigel feels that they worked the best as a team. Nigel thinks Chelsey looks best. Tyra thinks that watching the photoshoot was so awkward but the film is stellar. Nigel reminds her to bring her personality in real life. Andre nearly dies when seeing Ann’s single shot. Tyra notes that Chelsey is like “damn!” Patrick likes her movement but that she still needs to work on her face.

Chris is last. I agree with Tyra that it would be good in Teen Vogue but Andre said it wouldn’t make Vogue. But her single shot would. Patrick tells her to tone down the smile a bit.

Nigel likes Liz’s beauty shots. They love it. As well as Kendal. They don’t think Esther’s shyness is a hindrance but cute. Jane works better in group than solo close up. Nigel thinks that Kacey’s good at being spokesperson but not so much as a model. They are still amazed by Ann. Andre calls Chelsey “high society” but Tyra disagrees. She likes Chris’ shots and thinks they tell a story.

ELIMINATION! Best photo goes to Ann. FIFTH WEEK IN A ROW! Even Tyra is bored but calls Ann “amazing.” She is joined by: Jane, Kendal, Esther, Chris, Chelsey and Liz. Our bottom two is Kacey and Kayla. Oh no! This is difficult. Kacey is the house bitch, but I know it’s going to be an Ann-Kayla walk off at the end! Kacey: Beautiful girl, strong bone sculpture. But she was disconnected in her shots this week. Kayla: Was also disconnected because she couldn’t hide her pain. So, who stays? Kayla! I wish I could say “sorry,” Kacey, but I can’t. Tyra tells Kayla that modeling can be painful, but it’ll make her stronger as long as it doesn’t kill her.

Tyra hugs Kacey. She tells her she has the goods but she needs more time to practice before hitting the big leagues. Kacey goes to hug the girls and they actually hug her back. Her confession is very negative and she says she’ll never get over this. That’s…not the usual house bitch good-bye. There’s usually the “I’ll be better than these girls” vein.

America’s Next Top Model:

Anamaria

Ann

Chelsey

Chris

Esther

Jane

Kacey

Kayla

Kendal

Lexie

Liz

Rhianna

Sara

Terra

Those pictures were actually good. Our models are all growing up. And I’m with Tyra. It’s funny to watch Ann doing the photoshoot but the end results are so amazing. And I would’ve loved to see Lexie’s face when Kacey entered where ever they hide the eliminated girls so no one knows the order or who is remaining. So, who should now be the house bitch? Any suggestions?

Next week: The girls have to dress each other and then get to embody different designers.

Quote of the Episode:

“We see Nigel and go ‘Dang, we’re not going shopping.’” –Chris, upon arriving at Wal-Mart. She also provided my title.

Monday, October 11, 2010

New York, New York…

How I Met Your Mother time again!

We start at MacLaren’s. Robin discuss Maury Povitch, how she saw him. But everyone has seen him and Robin’s not a real New Yorker. She’s Canadian. Robin argues she is, she’s been in the city six years now!  Marshall says she’s not a real New Yorker until she sees Woody Allen, Ted says it’s not until she’s stolen a cab from someone who really needed it, Lily says its when you’ve cried on the subway and not cared what everyone else thought, and Marshall says it’s when you’ve killed a cockroach with your bare hands. Barney invites them to a steakhouse downtown so Robin suggests taking a cab. Lily says a New Yorker knows the subway is faster—take the 1 to the 2 or 3. Ted argues that the buses are more reliable on the weekends. And as a Staten Islander who especially relies on the 1 train, I can attest that’s true. Damn weekend construction. Barney complains that there is always some crazy person no one wants to sit next to on the bus and that’s why he doesn’t ride it. Marshall says he can outrun a bus. Barney says he can eat a steak and outrun them all.

And the race is on!

CREDITS!

Everyone spreads out and Lily goes for the subway. Future!Ted tells us “Why Lily Needed a Win.” We see Marshall and Lily trying to get pregnant. He tells her Eriksens are fertile men. But all her tests are negative. She sees a miniature Marshall taunting her, claiming it isn’t his fault and that his mom hates her. She goes to pee on the stick again as miniature Marshall panics and real Marshall is just confused. So Future!Ted says that Lily really needed this win. She jumps into a one train as the doors…remain open. Maury Povitch sits there watching her and comments “Idiot.”

Meanwhile, Marshall starts to run and puts a song in his head. It’s a Johnny Cash-esque song entitled “Marshall vs the Machines.” As he speeds past a wheelchair grandmother, Maury Povitch steals Robin’s cab. Meanwhile, Maury is still sitting next to Lily, who listens to the garbled conductor announcements saying that there is weekend track work (duh, it’s the 1 train) and that there will be a twenty-minute delay. A tourist family is impressed. There are also usually signs posted around the station saying the same thing. Anyway, Maury is sitting behind Ted on the bus as Future!Ted explains “Why I Needed a Win.” A few nights before Marshall tells Ted about RateMyProfessor.com. I’m sorry, copyright, so GradeMyTeacher.net. Ted’s just learning about this? My mom learned about it within her first semester. He goes on and finds great reviews, complete with word designs like movie reviews. Until he comes across “Boring.”

While Ted blathers on to his unfortunate bus mate, Barney fakes a heart attack (complete with “Elizabeth!”). Robin steals someone’s cab—check that off the New Yorker list. Meanwhile, Barney learns his ambulance will be taking him uptown rather than downtown. He panics as we see everyone still trying to get to the steakhouse. With the woman Robin stole the taxi from on top of the cab.

Barney calls someone from the ambulance before Future!Ted tells us “Why Robin Needed a Win.” He talks about Robin falling in love with Don before he took her dream job in Chicago, which she turned down because she loved him. Now, we meet her new co…It’s Laura Bell Bundy’s episode? NO WAY! She jumps in, all excited and very Elle Woods like. She tells Robin she’s not her to step on her toes then announces she has cookies. Soon, Becky eclipses Robin. Meanwhile, Marshall still runs as his theme song plays. Barney jumps into a car being driven by RANJIT!

On the bus, the woman Robin stole a cab from sits next to Ted, who tells her useless facts. She moves but…WHY DOES SHE LOOK FAMILIAR? Anyway, as Ted annoys the bus driver and seriously, they get an authentic looking New York subway car but not an authentic looking New York bus?, Barney picks up Robin. She asks if this was his way of apologizing as we see earlier, in MacLaren’s, she wanted to talk to him about Becky but he blew her off for a cute girl at the bar. She then talks about how New York seems to be rejecting her. She thinks he doesn’t care but he really does. We see a bit of Barney’s love for Robin as Ranjit turns up the smooth jazz. Meanwhile, both Marshall and his theme song past Barney’s car. He gets out as Ted realizes he’s the crazy person on the bus. As he gets off, everyone cheers.

Everyone then meets up at one spot. Ted offers to call it off but they take off as Maury passes with his dog.

Lily catches a two train at Union Square (and we hear Maury say “Idiot” as she dives in again), on which Robin is…just a car ahead. She thinks some hot guy is checking her out, but then notices the ad advertising Becky. She rips it off, only to see it was covering up a picture of her and Don. She cries and snaps at the people…successfully checking off that thing on her list. As Barney takes a ride, Future!Ted tells us “Why Barney Needed a Win.” Barney goes on about how awesome he is as Future!Ted realizes he didn’t need a win but did smell incredible. Barney takes over biking. Lily gets off and runs into Robin. She declares that New York won and that she wants to move somewhere new. Lily says she can’t. Because then Lily would have to follow her, so Marshall would have to follow Lily, and Ted would follow Marshall. Upside: Might get rid of Barney. Robin hugs her as the conductor announces something. Lily pretends not to understand it, gets off as the doors close and tells Robin that the train is expressing to Borough Hall. Then the doors open and Robin runs out.

Ted talks to an exhausted Marshall, who collapses. As he comes to, some guy dressed in a calculator suit asks if he needs help. Marshall screams and announces the machines have won. He then yells he can’t run that far or that he can’t get Lily pregnant. Ted tells Marshall to calm down—it’s only been two months, not two years. Marshall tells Ted he’s freaking out over one bad negative review amongst fifty good ones. “Sixty-four” Ted corrects. As the calculator gives a bad pun, they push him down. Ted takes off while Lily pulls Marshall into Ranjit’s car.

Robin, Ted and Barney meet up and race to the steakhouse. Robin wins and wonders how. Future!Ted reveals that Marshall and Lily come clean about their pregnancy nerves. They realize they have a list of things to do before parenthood and that the pregnancy is not a race. It’ll happen when it happens. Marshall asks Ranjit to take them to Coney Island. He does so. Meanwhile, he tells us how he think Barney saw Robin’s face and, while Barney says that he tripped, tackled Ted. When he confronts Barney, he distracts him with how awesome he smells. Robin talks to the cute guy she nearly ran over and he says that Woody Allen is in there. But it’s just Maury. As Robin kills a cockroach (free meal!), Future!Ted declares her a real New Yorker. Meanwhile, Barney and Ted have fun at the bar while Marshall and Lily snuggle in Ranjit’s car.

There is no tag this week. But October 13th is International Suit Up Day. So, follow Uncle Barney’s rules and Suit Up!

Quote of the Episode:

“Is anyone else suddenly craving green eggs and ham?” –Robin, as they discuss transportation options.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Let the Thunder Roll…

I don’t know exactly why, but one day a few years ago I decided to stop on one of my PBS stations (because of Staten Island’s location, I not only receive Channel 13 from New York but also Channel 21 from Long Island and Channel 25 from New Jersey). There was a concert on and the music intrigued me. That show was Celtic Thunder. I fell in love with their Irish-infused music and how great all their voices were. I purchased their first CD and would play it while at work. In fact, my boss commented on the oddity of “Puppy Love” following such Celtic sounding songs.

The men of Celtic Thunder are George Donaldson, Ryan Kelly, Paul Byrom, Keith Harkin and Damian McGinty. Recently, a sixth member was added to the group: Neil Byrne. Neil, though, has been working with Celtic Thunder since the beginning. Neil plays in the Celtic Thunder band and provides backup vocals.

I also bought as many of their CDs as they could possibly put out. I also watched every show broadcasted by PBS. But everyone knows that everything is better live! So I did a little digging on the group’s official website. And they were going to be in New York City, at Radio City, on October 1st! I asked some friends to come with me and my friend Lauren said she could. I bought the tickets and eagerly waited for the month to pass.

On Friday, after we stopped by the Comfort Diner (which I highly recommend to anyone who lives near Arthur Kill Road on Staten Island), she and I took the train-ferry-train down to Times Square. We walked down 7th, which was bustling with slow-moving tourists and the native New Yorkers trying to outwalk them. We talked about the annoying promoters constantly trying to get you to see a comedy show. And of course, they tried. But because of the foot traffic and hawkers (and because I remembered that Radio City is closer to 6th), we left 7th Ave. We arrived at Radio City, where a large crowd was being ushered into the music hall. We got on line, had our tickets scanned, my bag checked and soon entered Radio City.

Our seats were very good. We were in the orchestra, row UU—which is front orchestra—center section. As we took our seats, the woman in the row behind us recognized me. She and I attend the same church. It was nice to know there’s someone else in my neighborhood who likes Celtic Thunders as much as I! Shortly after, an announcement told the audience that the forecast called for some thunder in the area and Phil Coulter took the stage. He is Celtic Thunder’s music director. He explained that the first act we would see was a show called “Heritage” while the second act was “It’s Entertainment!”

“Heritage” was a section devoted to the men’s favorite songs from Ireland and the traditional set. The show opens with the song “Heartland,” which is standard for Celtic Thunder. Each guy, including Neil, got to sing a solo piece while they still performed group numbers. Some of the highlights for me were Damian singing “Come by the Hills” entirely in Gaelic (which I was worried would bore my friend as I’ve heard the song in English while she hasn’t but she said she liked it anyway), Paul singing “Red, Red Rose,” and a lovely duet by Ryan and George that I wish I knew the name to. “Heritage” finished with “All God’s Creatures Have a Place in the Choir,” a toe-tapping gospelesque song that led us into our intermission.

While at intermission, the woman next to my friend and I adopted us. She heard me explain to my fellow parishioner that I had only seen Celtic Thunder on TV. She, however, was an avid Thunderhead (defined as a fan of Celtic Thunder) and this was her third concert. She asked us who are favorites were and Lauren gave a vague answer while I piped in with “Paul!”

Soon, though, the lights dimmed and “It’s Entertainment” started with all five guys singing “Take Me Home.”  Lauren noted that the crowd was more enthusiastic and participated more during this section. I explained to her that “It’s Entertainment” was already released and performed, so the audience already knew what to expect. This section is devoted to songs spanning several decades and styles.  For example, Damian sings “Standing on the Corner” from The Most Happiest Fella, a Broadway-musical while Ryan sings the Bryan Adams hit “Everything I Do (I Do It For You).” Other highlights included Keith’s “Surfer Melody”—Surf City; Fun, Fun, Fun; and Surfin’ USA—as well as George’s rendition of the Pretenders’ “I Want to Spend My Life With You.” One of my favorite performances was Paul singing “Doo Wacka Doo,” complete with some fancy footwork! Another highlight was the trio of Ryan, Keith and Neil singing “Hallelujah.” The finale was the U2 hit “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For,” which had us on our feet and clapping along.

I’ve been ignoring a big part of the show: the band. They weren’t there just to provide the musical accompaniment. They got their own chances to shine, especially Neil who ran between the drums and the guitar for one number. One female fiddler was quite impressive as well.

For their encore, the five came back out in kilts to perform “Ireland’s Call.” I knew this was coming—they sing it to conclude every show, much like Billy Joel sings “Piano Man.” Hearing “Ireland’s Call” on television is thrilling; hearing it live is electrifying. Everyone in the crowd sang along and our adoptive friend even did the hand motions with the boys. But sadly, all good things come to an end and the Radio City lights came back. We tumbled back to the crowded, noisy city streets and went to meet friends at a local bar.

Overall, the concert was everything I hoped it would be. We had great seats, with great views of the stage. The music, performances and lads were much better live than on TV. I believe this was just the first of my many Celtic Thunder shows!

Stumbling into the Ring

Last week on ANTM: Nigel and Ms. J decided to test the girls on their posing abilities. So, they put them on a roller coaster! Poor Chris is terrified but gets on the roller coaster anyway. Her photo turns out as you would think. Liz wins the challenge and gets to go on shoot with Tyra. She brings Kayla and Chris along, as well, to watch Tyra eat. Next, they have a photoshoot with Matthew Rolston in which they are slid under a plate of water and paired with seafood. Oh, and modeling jewelry. Rolston was the guest judge for panel. Ann was called first for the third time while Liz and Rhianna fell to the bottom. In the end, Rhianna was shipped out for not being versatile enough while Liz was told to toughen up. Oh, and the entire house hates Kacey. Ten wannabes remain—whose dream is crush tonight?

Wanna be on top?

LA! The girls come to Ann’s picture…again. She’s happy and hopes people remember her. Kacey thinks it is time for her to be number one, even if she’s the bitch. She thinks they’re the bitches. Kacey calls a house meeting to get to know her better. Chris decides to go with it to give her a chance. Liz talks about being pregnant and in a homeless shelter. Her daughter is so adorable. She recalls about being in the bottom two and is harping on the no hair thing. Jaeda 2.0? Anyway, Jane reveals her father’s a doctor. The girls realize this means Jane has money. When asked if she wanted to be anyone else in the house, Liz picks Jane for her hair and for her money because of the recession. Jane hints she has been hit by the recession too.

TYRA MAIL! “Sometimes you have to go backwards to go forward.” Kayla predicts motion photoshoot. Lexie decides to eat six Saltines in one minute. Hey, they do that at the Staten Island Yankees game. They call it “Mission Impossible” because no one’s been able to do it.

Anyway, the girls board the Model Mobile and it takes them to a tunnel. Lexie is surprised they were able to shut one down. Ms. J welcomes them to the Second Street Tunnel. In which they’ll have a runway show. As you do. Never mind how bad LA traffic is. Anyway, the girls will be modeling Herve Leroux designs. Ooh la la! Ms. J brings out MEN! Oh my god, what’s with Tyra and the men? Did she find out about Kacey and Shaw? My friend’s hoping for another “You had SEX?!” a la Shandi, Cycle 2. And besides the male models, the runway will also be moving. And the girls will be in heels. The winner of the challenge—pretty much keeping her balance on the runway—will win Lisa Freede Jewelry.

The girls hit makeup and hair as Lexie points out that Kacey is still an outcast. Liz asks Ms. J if she has a risk of her train getting caught. Ms. J smiles in anticipation for bloodshed and says that fashion is a risk. Wow, are those real people or friends of the crew? Chelsey is up first. She stumbles a bit but we hear Ms. J say she recovered well. But she still stumbles a bit. A lot of pixelating this cycle…of the ladies’ mouths! Do we have a bunch of cursers?

Commercials!

We come back to Chelsey sliding off the conveyor belt. Liz is our next victim. She takes a minute to breathe and stumbles on to the belt. She jumps on a posing stage and pretty much can’t make it. She’d rather go into labor again. Jane says she’s competitive so she takes on the runway. Little steps is how she goes. Ann fears she’s psyching herself out. She stumbles a bit. Kayla is next and looks like she’s doing a gym exercise. Kendall loses a shoe, which Ms. J holds up. Lexie hopes her track experience helps. So far, she looks the best walk-wise. One girl even tells her friend she is so good. Kacey…damn her…looks good. Esther is up next and has balancing issues, like everyone else. She even falls off the stairs! Chris is next as Esther plays off her fall. Ms. J makes fun of Chris’ face as she takes on the belt. It tosses her on her rump.

Ms. J gives the girls critique. He/She/It praises Chelsey for going back into her model face. He/She/It praises Kacey for her smile and tells Lexie she was graceful. But Kacey wins and she yells “I got FIRST!” Even Ms. J seems taken aback as the girls recover from having their eardrums burst.

Back at the house, the girls are lounging about when Andre Leon Talley shows up! Chris bugs out. He introduces someone he’s known since she’s a baby and at 16 graced Italian Vogue. That is Karolina Kurkova. She’s there to teach them how to eat healthy. She makes them smoothies. And tells them secrets to being a good model. She tells them it’s personality. Lexie says she needs to do that. Anvils? Are they falling? Karolina departs as we see Venice Beach.

TYRA MAIL! “Don’t let the competition throw you.” Kacey spots bobby pins on the counter and makes a big deal of it. Lexie and Ann are surprised because Kacey left her food there for three days. So Lexie refuses to move it until Kacey moves her garbage. Kacey says Lexie can’t do anything unless she has her “back-up bitches.” So what does Kacey do? She goes into Lexie’s room to confront her. Uh huh. Liz is sick and tired, so she jumps in while Kacey continues to have this “poor me” attitude. Dude, if you don’t want everyone to gang up with Lexie, do the following: 1. Throw your food away! 2. Call her out somewhere where the others aren’t!

Seriously, I really miss Bianca and Laura at this point.

LA! The Model Mobile takes them to…a boxing ring? Mr. Jay welcomes them to Lucha va Voom and introduces them to Chupacabra, Crazy Chicken, Zokre, and Shamu Jr. Kacey hopes she gets to box someone. They will be editorial but posing with one of the Mexican fighters. Mr. Jay introduces our photographers--Eddie and Moshe Brakke, father and son. Liz poses with Crazy Chicken. She gets a little lost with the instructions being thrown at her. At least she complains backstage. Kendal is next and Mr. Jay tells her to commit to it. She tries yelling. Jane doesn’t go intense. Esther isn’t scared to go there. Chelsey improves as the shots go on. Kayla mentions Kim from Cycle 5 but says no lesbian has won. Mr. Jay likes her. Kacey goes and Mr. Jay has to explain some of the instructions but he liked her. Chris jumps and Mr. Jay liked her effort. Ann has demasked the wrestler, which is a disgrace. She doesn’t do so great at the beginning and it upsets her. Lexie causes Mr. Jay to make a face. He still doesn’t see emotion.

That’s a wrap!

Back at the house, the girls talk about their shoots and Mr. Jay’s comments. Lexie is really worried and Jane hopes she has one good shot. Ann is worried for panel while Kacey just doesn’t want her to be called first again.

Karolina pretends to be a contestant before panel. The girls come in. Tyra looks great. There are prizes, there are judges, our guest judge is Karolina Kurkova. Kendal is first. Tyra and Andre like her look this week. Nigel likes her face but Karolina doesn’t think it matches her body. Lexie follows and Nigel doesn’t think it’s a model. Andre doesn’t think it has energy and Tyra notes she struggles. Lexie admits she did. Andre loves Esther but Karolina is drawn to the wrestler. Karolina likes Chelsey’s tension. Tyra shows her trick so we can see her pictures. Ann admits she felt she let everyone down. And she’s still good. Nigel loves her eyes, Andre loves her mouth. Karolina tells her others think it’s their worst shoot but it turns out to be the best. Jane is taught the difference between porn and not porn.

Tyra loves Chris jumping but says her eyes just need a little more smize. Tyra praises her for asking. Andre makes Kayla change her hair and Nigel even grabs a shot. Tyra likes that she went for it in her shoot. Nigel tells them to lose the cocktail dresses as Liz steps forward. They like her face, even if it looks scary. Kacey winks at the panel as they note she won the challenge. They like the pose but think her eyes are vacant and Karolina calls it safe.

We return to the panel for deliberation. Karolina doesn’t think Kendal owns her beauty. Tyra thinks Lexie has potential—she’s just not bringing it. Karolina loves Esther’s look. Andre loves Chris’ pictures. Nigel loves how Ann’s awkwardness works for her. Tyra likes that Ann felt she disappointed people from a business end. Karolina thinks Jane needs to work on personality. They love Kayla and think Liz looks insane.

ELIMINATION! The first girl called is…Ann. She is the first to get four times in a row! She is followed by: Chris, Chelsey, Kayla, Liz, Esther, Kacey, and Kendal. That leaves Lexie and Jane as our bottom two. Lexie: Vivacious personality, but fades in front of a camera. Jane: Nice pictures, but hasn’t shown personality. So, who stays? Jane. So, who needs to get in Kacey’s face now? I vote Liz. Tyra hugs Lexie and says she has the genetics, she needs to practice. She’s grateful for the experience but is steamed Kacey is still there.

America’s Next Top Model

Anamaria

Ann

Chelsey

Chris

Esther

Jane

Kacey

Kayla

Kendal

Lexie

Liz

Rhianna

Sara

Terra

Well, it looks like I spotted the falling anvils pretty well. I’m still loving Ann, even if right now she looks like she’ll win. I think Kayla will give her a run for her money, though. That’ll be an interesting runway.

Next week: Ann falls short at the Cover Girl challenge before the girls hit Rodeo Drive for their shoot.

Quote of the Episode:

“I wish them all the best…but one. I wish eight of them the best.” –Lexie, in her exit interview.