Wanna be on top?
TYRA MAIL! It’s a little girl named Madison who is apparently a YouTube sensation. She gives them a makeup tutorial. The girls think she is adorable…and she is. She ends by telling them to keep a beat.
Mr. Jay sneaks into the house and calls the girls down. He blathers on about celebrity and going viral. He tells them they can write their own song and star in their own music video. You know why most things go viral, right ANTM? It’s because they are SO BAD they are FUNNY! And this smells of that—especially since they highlight Rebecca “The Target of Every Summer 2011 Punch line” Black. Allison isn’t thrilled with this challenge as she can’t sing. Don’t worry, neither can I. But that’s what they have autotune for!
Credits!
We come back to Mr. Jay reminding the girls that they have 20 minutes to write their songs. Whoever wins the challenge gets a loved one flown in to spend time with them. Shannon wants to win so she can see her husband.
Angelea talks about “fighting”. Alexandria and the producer talk it through. You know, I can’t rhyme. I was tested and I have an inability to rhyme past your basic Dr. Seuss level. What would I do? Lisa has been writing songs for years, so she is pretty good. Allison is struggling and Lisa thinks she is just freaking out. But the producer ends up loving the song, which is about her late father. Aww, I want to give her a hug.
The girls stand before the producer. He says Lisa and Angelea brought it to the table. The winner is Lisa and everyone applauds. Lisa gets to see her fiancé.
The next day, the Model Mobile takes the girls to the Village, a recording studio. He says there is a twist courtesy of Tyra. She wants them to insert “pot ledom” or “top model” into their song. Allison is confused as Angelea goes first. Lisa decides to go last so no one can imitate her. Angelea isn’t too bad but Shannon is going to need autotune. But she decides to rock it anyway. Allison can’t figure out how to incorporate pot ledom into her ode to her father.
COMMERCIALS!
Allison pulled herself together and actually is pretty good. Angelea is like “Dayum!” in confessional. Lisa thinks Laura is tone deaf. Why is Alexandria wearing sunglasses? Lisa and Shannon have fun dancing while Dominique echoes my question. And Lisa is actually a decent singer. The producers wraps the songs and kicks the girls out.
At the house, the doorbell rings. Shannon opens the door to Adam, Lisa’s fiance. He seems sweet. And she just gushes over him.
Later, the girls head to a studio. Mr. Jay just drives his car on set. He says he is proud of them and he liked all their songs. They were autotuned to kingdom come, weren’t they? The girls go to makeup and hair. Angelea freaks out when she sees who is with Mr. Jay, their director rapper Game. Angelea doesn’t know whether to hug him or faint. Mr. Jay asks what she’s thinking and she says “Nothing.” Shannon says Angelea can’t breathe. Mr. Jay compares Dominique to Beyonce.
Dominique: “Tootch Your Booty” Game doesn’t like how many drops she does, but she reveals she’s really just falling.
Alexandria: “Go, Go, Go…” She has a car. Game wants her to act like she’s married to the car. Maybe if they brought in her car prize from last cycle. And can I say I love Angelea’s commentaries? Mr. Jay nor the Game are impressed with her.
COMMERCIALS!
Tyra shows up in…I can’t even explain what she is wearing. She offers to be their backup/superstar cameo in their video, along with Keenan Cahill. Whoever that maybe. I don’t watch YouTube for that stuff. I’m slowly trying to watch Doctor Who Classic because I’m a geek like that.
Shannon: “World Go Round.” Did you blink? You missed it.
Lisa: “I Be Like Woah” She gets to film with the car. And she can also dance. Wow. Everyone applauds.
Laura: “Southern Sweet Girl.” She seems to be channeling “Hit Me Baby” Britney. Alexandria is a fan.
Angelea: “I’m Here.” Stop moving, please. Game tells her to sell her lyrics. He’s not impressed.
The Game talks to Allison because he knew her lyrics were inspired by someone and he understands it.
Allison: “Underwater” The Game is in love with her. And she looks beautiful. Allison feels proud of herself.
Meanwhile, Angelea is scared and she hopes she isn’t in the bottom two. Me too…
I’d rather listen to her than these two idiots.
We come back to panel. There are judges, Nigel and Andre. The guest judge is Game. There are prizes. Please don’t sing Tyra. Didn’t we already learn this lesson? Anyway, Dominique is up first. They couldn’t spring for a choreographer? At all? Tyra loved it. Game says she had a bit J. Lo and a bit Beyonce. Tyra tells her to exaggerate the mouth more. Laura is next. Nigel calls it “loveable” and that Tyra’s cameo is great. Andre calls it “giddy and fun” while Tyra waits for the “but…” Angelea follows her. Andre calls it flat and wanted her off the fence. Game tells her she has to make people believe. Tyra says that people are now hearing music with their eyes. Ignoring how silly that sounds, people have been doing that since the first person yelled “I want my MTV!”
Alexandria is next. Allison should’ve given Alexandria one of her Red Bulls. Tyra is not impressed, neither is Nigel nor the Game. Did they have to say “pot ledom” was top model backwards? Do they think that the listeners are that stupid? Anyway, Shannon follows but doesn’t really impress. Everyone applauds as Lisa steps up. Andre loves her video. He compares her to Missy Elliot. The Game wants it on his iPod and tells her to go open for Lady Gaga. Allison is last. Nigel calls it “extraordinary.” Game calls her weird and that it is the greatest thing in the world for her. Tyra says the video was mesmerizing and soothing. Those are the words I would’ve used.
COMMERCIALS!
The judge deliberate. They think Laura is a pop icon in the making. Andre liked that Angelea takes notes and is willing to use them. Game calls Alexandria “tin man.” Shannon needed more in the eyes while Lisa was amazing. I don’t know if Tyra is getting a critique for Allison or a boyfriend.
COMMERCIALS…Again?
ELIMINATION! The best music video goes to…Allison! Yay! And she was worried. She is joined by Lisa, Dominique, Laura and Shannon. Alexandria and Angelea are in the bottom two. Please send Alexandria home. Please. Alexandria: Modeling potential and personality brought her back but only a model was seen in the video. Angelea: She notes this is her third time. Oh no. Tyra goes on about being uncomfortable but Angelea gets to stay because uncomfortable or not, she was still better than Alexandria. Tyra talks to Alexandria about a bigger picture and Alexandria says she’ll just pick herself up.
Alexandria hugs everyone and says that she’s proud of herself. Whatever, she’s gone. Thank you, panel.
Want to see your favorite music video again? Go to the CW’s website!
America’s Next Top Model:
Shannon (Cycle 1)
Laura (Cycle 13)
Angelea (Cycle 14)
So, good-bye to Alexandria! I must say, I thought the songs and music videos were going to be worse than they were. Not that they were the best ever, but they were pretty decent. So, until next week!
Next week: GREECE! Oh crap…Have I ever mentioned I’m half Greek?
Quote of the Episode
“Could this bitch stop winning?” Angelea about Lisa Angelea is glad Bianca is gone and says she is the all-star. Lisa runs into the house to admire her picture. Laura talks to Allison and Allison says she admires Laura’s charisma. Allison talks about her introvert ways.
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