But Why’s the Rum Gone?

So, this is late, but that’s because I had a family event last night. I DVR-ed the episode and watched when I really should’ve turned in. I just couldn’t wait!

The Curse of the Black Spot or “Pirates of the Caribbean V”

The TARDIS lands on a ship with a siren problem. Or do they? Since this is Doctor Who, you know the answer to that is: No.

We start in a Pirates of the Caribbean outtake—several pirates board a ship. It seems someone is gravely injured and they have to go tell the captain. We see this “grave wound” is a paper cut at best, but he has the black spot on his hand. An eerie voice sings as the pirates panic. A gold medallion is focused on as the man screams. Is that an occult symbol on the ship? Anyway, the pirates hear some knocking and open their hold to find…the Doctor, Rory and Amy.

Oh dear god, they didn’t lose the Amy intro? Please, please, please do! It’s not necessary and it’s annoying!

We see the TARDIS reflected in the water before we see it in the hold. The Doctor says his ship picked up their ship’s distress call. The Doctor introduces himself before finding himself at the wrong end of a pistol. The captain declares them stowaways.

And makes the Doctor walk the prank. The captain orders Amy to the kitchen and she asks for some help from Rory. He stands up for her but it’s not working. The Doctor asks for some laughter before he jumps while Amy gets a plan. The Doctor is surprised to see such a small crew. But he has to jump until Amy yells “Boo!” She has a sword pointed at the captain and a sword fight begins. Everyone is afraid of the sword and where did Amy learn to use one? The crew gives chase but Amy pulls out a scene from Pirates of the Caribbean. She cuts one man, who tells her she’s killed him. A black spot grows on the man’s hand. In the confusion, Amy accidentally cuts Rory. A black spot grows on his hand.

The eerie voice returns and the captain explains that the song is to enchant their victims. Rory enchanted is actually Rory drunk and hitting on his wife.

Amy then notices the glowing circle in the water. A figure clad in white shoots out and settles on the deck. She is a woman with dark hair and looks familiar. The crew member walks forward to her, taking her outstretched hand. He disappears and Rory steps forward. Amy tells her he is spoken for, causing the woman to glow red and send her flying back. The Doctor grabs Rory and sends every down into the hold.

COMMERCIALS!

In the hold, the captain explains she is a siren. She is compared to a shark. Rory thinks she’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. Amy disagrees. They then notice leeches in the water. Another crew member falls to the siren, who manages to appear in the hold. The Doctor and Amy try to protect Rory as the crew member disappears. The Doctor realizes she is using water to move. The captain suggests using the magazine as it is dry and isn’t thrilled with the Doctor taking over. But he’s got a hat and in charge. They realize someone beat them to the idea.

They hear coughing in a barrel and the captain reveals it is his son. He reprimands him and asks about his mother. The boy’s silence says everything and the captain asks how long. The boy says since the previous winter and that he sought the captain out because his mother praised him—said he was in the navy. He came to join his father’s crew. The captain says it is too dangerous, but the boy knows the situation—he has the black spot.

They inspect him for scars or cuts but none is found. Just his persistent cough that leads the Doctor to believe she comes for the sick as well. I thought maybe the boy had Tuberculosis since that does cause you to cough up blood. Anyway, the Doctor says that it’ll only be a matter of time before everyone is “bruised.” The Doctor wants to take everyone to get on his TARDIS to go away but the captain is still in charge. His son opens a barrel of water but they wrestle the lid back on before she could come out. The Doctor and the Captain decide to go to the TARDIS and the Doctor tells Rory and Amy to be strong. They worry about him and he says everyone has to die at some point. Rory and Amy go silent, recalling the Doctor’s death in the first ten minutes of the first episode. He tells Rory there are worse deaths than being eaten by a mermaid.

The Doctor and the Captain reach the TARDIS and the Doctor apologizes for lying. Inside the room, Amy confronts Rory about the “most beautiful woman” he’s “ever seen” comment. He apologizes. Meanwhile, two crewmen wish to leave and reveal to the boy (Toby) that his father is a pirate. Amy tries to get them to stop, but they continue. Meanwhile, the Doctor keeps fiddling around the TARDIS as Toby holds a sword aloft. He cuts on of the crew. The Doctor rambles on as the Captain says he’s confused. The uncut crew member runs, trapping the others in the magazine.

The TARDIS has trouble dematerializing and orders the Captain to abandon ship. The TARDIS disappears, surprising the Doctor.

COMMERCIALS!

The Doctor and the captain run into the crew member who left with the keys. The Doctor is worried about their supplies, the captain is worried about his treasure. The crew member shoots as the Doctor repeats “Don’t get injured.” The captain threatens the man as he lights a torch. Outside the locked room, the two hear the song and see an eerie light. They realize she went for the crew member. The captain notes that there is no water so how did she get in. The Doctor looks at the crown and realizes it is through reflections that she travels. Perhaps she’ll make friends with Sister Mine some day.

As Toby rubs the medallion, they save him and the Doctor starts breaking anything that can reflect. The Doctor also starts throwing the treasure overboard, to the captain’s displeasure. He is ordered to get the crown and fingers it gently.

They hide in the hold to avoid the calm, mirror-esque sea. So, let’s have some father-son bonding. Toby calls out the captain for promising to come home and never doing so. He then asks why his dad is a pirate, but the captain puts him to bed. Amy sees the strange woman from the last episode telling her she is doing fine and to stay calm.

COMMERCIALS!

The captain joins the Doctor on the deck, where they discuss stars. The Doctor says that they need someone to enjoy the journey with them. He asks how the captain, Henry, ended up as a pirate. He thinks he is set, but the Doctor fortune cookies that things can change. Amy joins the Doctor in the captain’s quarters. He shushes her and says that something is out there, staring at him. They hear thunder and have to maintain the riggings. They fight against a powerful storm as the captain orders Toby to get his belongs. And out rolls the crown. The siren comes out, trying to get Toby. (Oh, and according to the Doctor Who confidential, the siren is played by a famous model). The captain tries to save his son, but the siren gets him. Amy holds Rory tight while the Doctor berates the captain for his love of treasure. Unfortunately, Rory gets knocked overboard and the Doctor has to release the siren.

The Doctor believes they can negotiate with the siren and decide to prick their fingers. They do so to get three black spots and the siren comes as we go…

COMMERCIALS!

We come back to the Doctor, Amy and the Captain on the ship. Except they are on a ship where it’s plane has collided with another. A signal goes off and they realize that was the true distress call. The siren’s song continues as they spot a dead…buffalo? They go into another room to find the captain dead and staring at the captain’s quarters. He learns the captain died from a human disease and sneezes. He wipes it off on Amy before they find the “dead” crew—and the TARDIS. They note that Toby’s fever is gone and that the black spot was really a tissue sample. They try to get Rory up but it sends out a signal to the siren. She comes and the Doctor realizes the song is an anesthetic. That’s why Rory acted drunk. 

The captain shoots at the siren and she turns red. She creates fire and the Doctor runs through what fire is for. He remembers the sneeze and blows his nose, throwing the hankie away. The siren blasts it and then turns on Amy as she tries to help Rory. The Doctor tells her to ignore his other theories, which Amy remarks they already do, and reveals that the siren is actually a doctor. With the crew dead, the ship’s medical bay had no one to heal. So the doctor began healing humans, creating a human form. The Doctor shows the siren Amy’s ring as she demands to be allowed to take care of Rory. A light forms and Amy signs a consent form. She cannot unplug Rory though. Rory has to choose—stay there and be alive or leave and drown. He tries to tell Amy about CPR and she asks why it has to be her. He responds it is because she’ll never give up.

COMMERCIALS!

When we come back, the Doctor has wandered over to the captain. He says they have to send the ship back to space. The Doctor reveals Toby has typhoid fever and will die. The captain offers to stay with him and let the siren care for him. The captain thinks he can sail the ship. Rory says that if Amy mucks it up, he’ll “be very cross and dead.” They get Rory to the TARDIS and Amy starts CPR. This must’ve been made before the new procedures came out—more chest compressions, less rescue breathing. She continues to perform CPR as the Doctor watches nervously.

Did they just kill Rory off?

Oh, no, there he goes. The Doctor looks so relieved to see him back. Rory hugs Amy, who cries.

The captain and Toby sail the ship back to the stars, with his crew.

Amy believes she made a good pirate while Rory thinks she made a good nurse. They say good-night and the Doctor calls her “Amelia.” She says he only calls her that when he’s worried about her. He says he always worries about her. And then Amy remembers his death. Rory reminds her not to tell him and the Doctor is still running that pregnancy test.

That was some good old fashioned Doctor Who fun. I do hope the next episode is a bit brighter lighting wise. This one was dark and lulled me into an almost dreamlike state. Anyway, I learned the siren was played by Lily Cole, who usually sports red hair. I wonder if she dyed it or if they dyed it. And if she did her own singing voice.

Next week: Time Lords? Strange boxes? Weird alien planet? What’s going on?

Quote of the Episode

“Well, it’s a big club. We should get t-shirts.”—The Doctor about confusion