WARNING: SPOILERS DEAD AHEAD! This is more of a running commentary rather than a review. So, you are warned for SPOILERS!
In a voice over, Usagi tells the audience that it has been four years since the end of the series proper. Everyone has moved on with their lives, even though they should just be entering the adult world. Ami has gone to the English speaking world to become a doctor, the youngest ever (if you don’t count one Dr. Doogie Howser, I guess). Rei has fled society and is strengthening her priestess powers in the mountains. Minako is still a recording star and at the start of the show, is in England where she receives an award. Makoto calls Usagi, who tells us that she is working on opening a flower arrangement business. We see her at home, a turtle pillow on her couch—touches of Motoki-kun. We are told that Makoto is making the bouquet for Usagi’s wedding—to Mamoru, of course! Usagi rushes out to meet him, leaving a half cooked breakfast behind for her mother and Luna, who is in human form. No explanation for how human Luna came to be in the Tsukino household is ever given.
Usagi and Mamoru run around Tokyo, preparing for their wedding. Mamoru looks less than thrilled as Usagi tries to involve him in many of the preparations. When he tries to just go with whatever she wants, Usagi gets mad and calls Makoto. She tries to convince Usagi not to call off the wedding as a waiter delivers a giant chocolate dessert. Usagi barely takes a bit when she rushes off, claiming her stomach hurt. So…either that is the worse dessert ever or someone’s pregnant! Outside, Motoki tries to convince Mamoru to apologize. He doesn’t understand why she’s so crazy and why they have to go through all this hoopla. And guess who overhears this? You guessed it—Usagi! She calls the wedding off.
That night, Luna in cat form talks to Queen Serenity. At this point, I kept yelling “Where the hell were YOU during the series?” Queen Serenity is clearly played by the same actress who plays Usagi, just with a different voice. She tells Luna not to worry about Usagi and Mamoru’s fight, but to worry because something bad is coming. Oh, and the Sailor Scouts can’t transform because the Mystical Silver Crystal was destroyed.
But seriously, why does it take the Special Act for Queen Serenity to show up? In the anime, she plays a very big part—especially in the earlier seasons. Why would she not provide some guidance in the series proper? Especially when Usagi was having such struggles with the Mystic Silver Crystal? And why is Luna contacting her over a matter that has nothing to do with the past? I guess we had to get our “Beware—DOOM AHEAD” warning somewhere.
Anyway, the warning comes not a moment too soon. A mysterious beam of light lands behind some…wood…and glows ominously. Luna, in Sailor Luna form (I guess she can still transform), goes to investigate. She ends up in a place familiar to those who saw the show—it is the place where Sailor Dark Mercury is revealed for the first time. As the camera pans all around and scary music plays, Luna is surprised to find Rei there. She had sensed something and come back to Tokyo. She pulls off her coat to reveal her priestess robes. But they cannot stop whatever the force is as a battered Luna returns to Usagi.
Usagi worries as she bandages Luna up and Rei lays bandaged in a hospital. Meanwhile, the force finally takes form. And it’s Mio from the last series! She’s back and she wants to be queen. She goes to the amusement park often seen in the series that’s now deserted and sets up her own castle. Her child-like qualities are emphasized more here. She sets up a castle full of oversized toys, carrying a stuff dog around with her. Her minions? The Insane Clown Posse. Which she unleashes on the unsuspecting populace, who don’t run in fear because…well, it’s clowns!
Then they start getting their energy drains and people think: “Not this again!” and run amok. Usagi decides to stand and fight, but Tuxedo Kamen comes to her rescue. He tells her to run, but she’s stubborn. And then the Four Generals show up. As you all remember, they promised to be faithful to Mamoru and help him when he needed it. But they soon reveal that they are working for Mio. They capture both Mamoru and Usagi, bringing them before Mio. She declares that she is now queen of the earth, but she’s missing something. My vote? Oh, no, she’s missing a king. Guess who she picks?
And if you said “Usagi,” please note this is not a hentai.
Mio throws Mamoru and Usagi in jail, where they are still not talking to each other. Usagi’s stomach growls but she yells at Mamoru.
Meanwhile, the other Senshi feel Usagi’s capture. Ami runs out of the hospital she is working in as her English speaking colleague gives the worst line reading ever. Makoto just runs out on Motoki while Minako orders her limo driver to take her to the airport. He pulls off an impressive U-ey before heading back through the tunnel. Back in Tokyo, Queen Serenity comes back to reveal that she has sent down a powerful sword to help with the battle.
And once again, where was this during the series proper? This would’ve helped a lot when the Sailor Senshi couldn’t use the Mystic Silver Crystal. Anyway, Queen Serenity says they have to find it and only when all the Senshi are together will they be able to use it. So, Makoto goes to try and locate it with Luna. But the Insane Clown Posse blocks their path. And not just their paths! Minako has to fight the ICP as well while they scare off Ami’s taxi driver. But the Insane Clown Posse doesn’t scare Ami, who puts her license in the holder and drives through the clowns. As they fight their way to Makoto’s side, she tries to pull the sword from the stone. But she fails, so Makoto won’t be the king of England.
Minako and Ami show up. They join Makoto in trying to pull the sword out as a hole lets Rei help from her hospital bed. And they pull it out! Yay!
Meanwhile, we return to Mio’s Playhouse, where she is dressed like Tim Burton’s bride. The Generals come for Mamoru, who argues with Usagi. As he distracts the Generals, he pushes Usagi out and tells her as long as one gets out, she can get help. She winds back up at the amusement park by…magic? We’ll go with magic. Anyway, as she tries to figure out how to get out of the handcuffs, she finds that Mamoru snuck her engagement ring into her pocket. She takes that to mean she’s forgiven or something and gets all wistful as we dissolve to…
Mamoru and Usagi leaning against his motorcycle and watching the ocean. Judging by the sepia tones, I’m guessing this is a flashback. Mamoru puts something in Usagi’s hand and walks off. She opens her hand to see a ring in it. That was the proposal? It sucked! He didn’t say anything nor did he get down on one knee. Jeez, Usagi should’ve demanded more.
Anyway, we cut back to Usagi walking along without the handcuffs on. I guess she got them off using…magic? We’ll go with magic. She’s determined to rescue Mamoru from Mio’s grasp. Back at Castle Creepy, the Generals bring Mamoru to Mio. He is resistant until she places him in a spell that makes him obedient. They proceed to an altar and exchange vows. Usagi bursts in, determined to win her man back. There is a battle where it is revealed that ohmigod Mamoru isn’t really under Mio’s spell. They run off, leaving Mio to take out her frustrations on her cute stuffed dog.
Usagi and Mamoru return to the amusement park by…magic? I’m going to go with magic. The Generals follow but ohmigod there are duplicate Generals. It would seem that the Generals were NOT brainwashed into being Mio’s servants and have returned to help Mamoru like they promised. They fight the duplicate Generals, who sound like the putties from Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers. They transform into members of the Insane Clown Posse before the Generals easily defeat them. Mio shows up and pitches a temper tantrum, turning into the Audrey II’s mutant cousin. It seems hopeless until…
…Makoto, Minako and Ami show up with Excalibur! They announce that for today only, they can transform into the Sailor Senshi. By the power of deus ex machina, they transform and fight off the Audrey II. And yes, the Sailor Senshi still have those ridiculous tambourines. But the Audrey II is easily defeated and I can’t help but feel a little let down. I know there is only so much time, but for a Sailor Moon follow up, the final battle is pretty lame.
Anyway, it turns to night as the girls lose their powers. The Generals just kinda leave while the girls ask Usagi if there’s still a wedding. She pauses before saying that there is! Yay? Mamoru is thrown in for a hug and everyone celebrates!
We cut to a church as a bell rings. The doors open and everyone throws confetti as Mamoru and Usagi leave the church. They bow to those present, who include everyone we’ve come to know—Mama, Makoto, Minako, Ami, Rei, Naru, Luna and Motoki. We even get to see Usagi’s father as he tries to operate a video camera. But no sign of Shingo. What? They couldn’t get the actor back? The Generals are also there, acknowledging they are pleased for their master before disappearing.
The girls all gather together in hopes of catching the bouquet. Luna, Naru and some of Usagi’s old school chums are quite eager to do so. Minako and Rei seem excited but pretend not to be. Ami and Makoto just watch in amusement. Usagi tosses the bouquet and it sails over everyone to be caught by…Motoki. The others look on in shock before he rushes over to Makoto to propose. She accepts and everyone celebrates.
Mamoru revs up the motorcycle and Usagi pulls off her skirt to reveal a shorter dress underneath. She gets on behind Mamoru, waves good-bye and they take off. As they ride down the road, the theme song plays in full. They pass Minako in her limo, Ami walking along the beach, Makoto and Motoki and Rei…dies? I don’t know, she disappears into white light.
And that’s it.
As a follow-up, it’s a nice bit of “Look, everyone is doing well!” As a Sailor Moon entry, it lacks the excitement of the episodes. But I’m going to chalk that up to “too much to cover, not enough time allotted.”
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