See, I Could Never Really Sing…

Last week, Rebecca Duvall was stuck in Cuba. So Karen was promoted to understudy. Ivy finds out and takes it pretty well. But it’s because she has an ulterior motive—she thinks if she’s nice enough, she’ll get back into the chorus. And she encourages to Karen rebel a bit, hoping to get her kicked out. Karen and Dev have a fight, Tom and John break up and Julia finally tells Tom Frank left her. And Eileen gets Terrence Mann to bankroll Bombshell before kissing Thorsten Kaye.


This week, Eileen is avoiding Thorsten Kaye. He’s baffled and keeps calling. She decides to look at the information Ellis dug up about Nick. And it’s not good, so she continues ignoring him.


But let’s go back to Rebecca. She shows up to rehearsal and Derek asks her to start with “Let Me Be Your Star.” And when Uma starts singing the only thing that pops in my head is “It’s the Rex Harrison method of singing!” For those of you who don’t know, Rex Harrison was the original Professor Higgins in “My Fair Lady.” He didn’t think he could handle the singing and decided to just speak his words rhythmically. And that’s what Uma does here. And when she tries to sing flat out, it falls flat.


Derek cuts her off and we go to a meeting in Eileen’s office. They wonder why no one bothered to check to see if Rebecca could sing. Me too. How many musicals have these people supposedly staged between them? Eileen says she saw Rebecca sing on Saturday Night Live. And didn’t think that maybe it was prerecorded and autotuned to high heaven? Or that she was lipsyncing to a more talented cast member? Really? Anyway, they decide to play with the hand they’ve been dealt.


Though Derek demands Ivy be returned to the chorus. And she is. I still don’t know exactly what the fallout from “Heaven on Earth” was. Look, I want to like Ivy. On paper, she’s the perfect Marilyn. And Megan Hilty’s acting is superb. But because we haven’t seen the fallout from her episode, I don’t know if Ivy’s learned her lesson. If she’s realized she was unprofessional and needs to always be on her game.


Anyway, Rebecca soon proves to be a demanding star. For instance, she doesn’t understand why there are so many songs in the musical. Yeah, let that one sink in. She complains that a scene has barely started and already there’s a song. That’s generally how a musical works. Rebecca asks for more speaking parts. Julia and Tom want to kill her.


Meanwhile, Ivy continues her little friendship with Karen. Talks with her as Rebecca performs. Reminds her that they should hate Rebecca. That Rebecca stole their part. And, frankly, their plot bored me. And I like Katharine McPhee and Megan Hilty. But this was just not a good week for them. Pretty much both still want to be Marilyn but Ivy is more manipulative while Karen is naïve.


The only good part of this scene is Rebecca’s ginger assistant learns what the audience already knew: Ellis is a rat.


The only relevant Karen plot is hers and Dev’s. She goes to visit her boyfriend and is surprised to see the man who stole his job sitting behind his desk. Because Dev still hasn’t told her that he stole his job. And it just hit me—have we ever seen Karen wearing a visitor’s pass? They can’t possibly just let anyone wander around City Hall, after all. Anyway, Karen finds Dev laughing with RJ. And she’s not too thrilled.


They talk. And fight. Really, it’s Karen and Dev’s relationship imploding more. She invites Dev to the screening of Rebecca’s newest movie, Casual Friday 2, but he skips out. Ivy sticks her nose in and even Karen doesn’t know why she’s confiding in her rival. But Ivy says that Dev is probably crying on the shoulder of another attractive female. And we see him in a bar, with RJ.


While dealing with Rebecca, Julia also has to deal with her son’s failing grades. She has to call Frank, who shows up. But he only wants to talk about Leo. He blames Julia for Leo’s failing grades, which isn’t entirely true. Yes, Leo is acting out because of his parents’ marital problems. And yes, they are having problems because of Julia’s infidelity. But it’s not just her fault. Frank’s not talking to Julia and is letting his anger fester. That’s not good for Leo either!


Anyway, they go to Leo’s school and talk to his counselor. Frank tries to pretend everything is fine. But Julia admits everything to the counselor. And the counselor doesn’t suggest they get their own counseling. But they need it. At home, Julia and Frank talk to Leo about improving his grades. He argues that it’s not worth it because everything goes wrong in the end. But Julia convinces her son that doesn’t always happen and he needs to succeed in life. Leo barters with his parents—a B on his next test and he gets to meet Rebecca Duvall. Julia says he gets a B+ and they’ll talk.


Along with Leo, Julia also is also focused on Tom. Namely his burgeoning relationship with Sam. She sets up a date for them to put everyone out of their misery watching the two flirt and be cutesy. They go, but Tom is upset by Rebecca’s antics. He and Sam go back to Tom’s where they bond over their favorite Sondheim musicals (Sam: Into the Woods. Tom: The Frogs. Mine: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum). Tom kisses Sam who then puts the brakes on. He says that’s a Christian boy and likes to take things slow. Meaning he doesn’t put out on the first date. He asks Tom about his longest relationship. “Five,” Tom answers. “Years?” Sam asks. “Months,” Tom clarifies. That proves Sam’s point and he leaves Tom wanting more.


Go, Sam!


Remember how Derek hallucinated Karen as Marilyn? He does it again this week! It’s when he tells Karen that she is no longer needed as Rebecca is here. But Marilyn!Karen says that he does need her before singing “Our Day Will Come.” Maybe this will be like the time on Bones where David Boreanaz learned he had a tumor after seeing Stewie Griffin all episode. And like Booth’s, Derek’s has to be curable.


After, Rebecca practices the number where Marilyn goes to study at The Actors Studio. This leads into the number “Dig Deep,” where Marilyn learns to be method. The others dance around her and it becomes a fully realized number. It’s okay and Uma is good, but it’d be more memorable with Ivy in it.


Rebecca asks to meet everyone to discuss some ideas she has for the musical. And so Derek, Julia, and Eileen meet at Tom’s to await their star. She’s running late, surprise, surprise. While they wait, Eileen promises that she won’t cave to any more of Rebecca’s demands. She insists Julia and Tom have written a great musical and it should stay just as it is. When Rebecca shows up, she’s more reasonable than she has been the entire episode. In this scene, she’s an actress who knows her limitations. She asks that the key be dropped and she says she’s getting a vocal trainer as “Dig Deep” is challenging for her but she wants to improve. Impressed, the meeting fades out…


Eileen finally agrees to see Nick. She tries to break up with him but he’s having none of it. Why? Because he’s Thorsten Kaye, that’s why. And because Nick explains that shady characters come with the territory of his business. She shouldn’t hold that over him. Eileen agrees and kisses him again.


I’m liking Uma but I think Ivy’s shaping up to be a karma houdini. I don’t really care about Dev’s storyline. The fallout would’ve been more interesting as well as more on Ivy learning a lesson, maybe? I don’t know. Just something.


Exchange(s) of the Episode


"She's not bad. She's..."
"Bad." --Eileen and Tom about Rebecca Duvall's singing


"We need a solution."
"Group suicide?"--Eileen and Julia about Rebecca Duvall's singing


Playbill recap