It’s Christmas in July! Have you been watching the movies airing on Hallmark Channel? I know I’ve caught a few this month!
This movie, though, isn’t a Hallmark movie. I watched it on Hulu when it had its holiday hub going and I enjoyed it a good amount. And I didn’t see the twist coming until the end. So that was a plus.
Let’s take a look at The Christmas Calendar!
I finally kicked my bug! But since I spent the last two “How I Met Your Mother” episodes sick and recapping them after the fact, the recaps took on a different style. And I liked that. So I’m keeping it!
The “A” plot this week stars Ted Moseby, Architect Professor. And his students—who I don’t think have changed from last year—LOVE him. He wears a hot dog costume, which thankfully isn’t too silly as his students are in costume as well. He even gives them candy and they ask if he’s going to a certain Halloween party. He says no because he’s going to the party held by GNB. Lily, Barney and Marshall are there as well as Will Forte (“Randy”). He asks if Robin was going to be there, but they said that she had another party to go to. Randy is sad until Lily says Robin may show up. Randy perks up and then asks if they are going to the Halloween parade. Ted, Marshall and Barney say they are—but they aren’t talking about the Greenwich Village Parade. They are talking about the Walk of Shame taken the day after Halloween by women still in costume returning from their one night stands. And who should be on this walk? Robin! But that’s for the “C” plot…
Anyway, Ted runs into Zoey, who is still protesting his actions as if he were personally tearing down the Arcadia. Ted makes the mistake of telling Zoey that he teaches an architecture class at a prestigious university. Guess what happens? If you guessed that Zoey shows up in Ted’s class—you’d be right! She asks Ted if the Arcadia is an example of Greek Revival architecture. It’s not. But it does give her an in to explain to Ted’s class all about the Arcadia. At first they don’t believe her, but eventually turn against Ted. They even join in Zoey’s demonstrations against Ted and GNB.
Desperate the get his class back, Ted turns to Lily for help. She asks if Ted knows about a certain car with an annoying alarm parked outside their building. Ted and Robin imitate it perfectly. Lily says that when little Johnny got too out of control, upsetting the other students, she would flicker the lights on and off making that noise. Ted tries it after candy and mixed tapes don’t work. And it works…until the class doesn’t show up for school. So he finds them protesting with Zoey and follows Lily’s next advice: fear. She recalls Johnny and his stuffed horse. Well, Little Johnny wakes up from naptime with only his horse’s head in a homage to The Godfather.
So, Ted threatens his class with “F’s” if they don’t show up. And they do.
And in the “B” plot, we have Marshall and Randy! GNB isn’t well-liked, so they put out a “feel good” video every year. Barney tries to get Marshall in it, but he refuses. Meanwhile, he is trying to deal with Randy, who is completely hopeless in his job as Marshall’s assistant. Marshall refuses to fire him, even though Randy shredded a very important contract because he thought “downtown” was code for “shredder.” But after shredding documents one time too many, Marshall gives in and fires Randy. While Barney pops champagne, Marshall is really torn up about firing the man.
So, Marshall marches in to Arthur (who seems to have recovered from his heart attack pretty well) to argue to save Randy’s job. And he wins. Which in a reversal, is NOT what Randy wants. He was counting on the severance check in order to open his own brewery. So, he does everything he can to try and get Marshall to fire him again. After wrecking Marshall’s office and dousing Marshall in coffee, Randy gives up as Marshall refuses to budge. Randy tells Marshall his dream and as Marshall tries some of Randy’s beer, he fires him. And then participates in Barney’s GNB video. Future!Ted tells us that Randy’s beer went on to be a big hit.
And now, our “C” plot. Remember how the boys spotted Robin in the Halloween Walk of Shame Parade? Well, now they want to know who it is. Lily deduces from Robin’s unwillingness to share that it’s someone they know. Ted prays that Robin isn’t sleeping with her co-anchor again. Robin reminds him that her co-anchor is a girl. While this does set up Barney’s awesome line “Please tell me you are sleeping with your co-anchor,” it was just shoddy writing. Of course Ted knows Robin’s anchor is a woman—he dated her in the last episode! Anyway, Barney’s line let’s us into Becky’s scene. She’s not so big into journalistic integrity and recently filmed a commercial for a boat show. She’s wearing a pink outfit and wig, doing a weird dance and just saying “boats” over and over again.
Anyway, Lily finally gets Robin to admit that it was Randy she spent the night with. But that doesn’t last long as Randy—celebrating his severance check—reveals that he didn’t sleep with Robin on Halloween night. So, Lily goes back to interrogating her friend. It turns out Robin decided to go down Becky’s path and do a commercial of her own. Hers was for adult diapers. She says the director doesn’t know if they’ll use it (Future!Ted says it ran for 7 years) but that was her Halloween night shame.
I am really liking Jennifer Morrison as Zoey. She’s serving as a good antagonist for Ted. Though I marked it the “B” plot, I liked the Marshall-Randy plot better than Ted’s “A” plot.
This Monday saw “Stomach Bug 2: Return of the Stomach Bug” for me. But I managed to see “How I Met Your Mother” so, another recap given from the best of my ability!
Pretty much the main focus of the episode was on Lily and Marshall. Which also means it was on their quest to have a child. You see, they go visit friends who have just had a baby themselves and can’t seem to name the child without arguing. Lily and Marshall don’t think they’ll have that problem…but they do. Lily can’t seem to find a name that doesn’t remind her of a troublemaker from her class. This leads to a bigger rift: the baby’s gender. Marshall reveals to Ted he doesn’t want a girl—he’d be too worried about being that girl’s dad. He thinks of his daughter as high school boys serenade her about how much they want her or…worse…that girl working at a strip club. But wait! There’s more to THAT particular nightmare! The girl ends up dating Barney in an awesome, true-to-character move. By the end, she ends up marrying Barney as a crying Lily and Marshall look on in horror.
But it turns out the Eriksens always produce males. And Papa Eriksen is more than willing to pass on the tips for producing boys. Almost desperate, in fact. Like he doesn’t even want to consider a granddaughter. Anyway, the tips involve avoiding lemons (apparently, they are baby girl fertilizers), eating pickled herring before conception, dunking his “man sack” in a bucket of ice (at this point, Marshall’s mother comes in with the line “Oh, you boys and your football.” It’s hysterical) and then to point Lily due North. When he does, he discovers the basket of lemons by Lily’s side of the bed. Turns out that while Marshall was panicking about having a girl, Lily was worried about having a boy. All the troublemakers in her class tend to be boys. So, she’s been eating lemons, heating up her “lady bits” to a toasty 105 degrees Fahrenheit and pointing South to ensure a girl. Fortunately, they realize they are being silly.
They go back to visit their feuding friends, who have stopped squabbling after a scare with their baby. Turns out the hospital wouldn’t admit their baby without a name and the two realized what complete douches they were being. So, they named their daughter Esther. Lily and Marshall decide to forget about worrying about sex and decide to pick a name that could work either way. They decide on Jamie.
And starring in the “B” plot: Robin, Ted and Robin’s annoyingly perky co-anchor Becky (Laura Bell Bundy). At first, Becky was more like Elle Woods (who Bundy played on Broadway)—the smart person hidden behind the blonde ditz. But this episode reveals she’s just a blonde ditz who acts like a little girl. We see her complaining that all the news stories are sad while Mike just keeps the camera zoomed on her. Robin even asks if she can get in the shot and we see the camera shake “no.” But that’s not all. Turns out Becky shows up to give Robin some chocolate chip cookies (except Becky uses gummy bears) and meets Ted. They go on a few dates, much to Robin’s annoyance. In fact, she doesn’t understand why guys are attracted to women who act like little girls. Finally, Ted reveals its because it makes men feel needed. Which Ted never felt while dating Robin.
This causes Robin to feel bad, so she goes to ask Barney if he felt the same during their relationship. Barney says yes, but that it was what he loved the most about her. They have an adorable moment in which you feel the chemistry between the two again. Then Barney asks Robin to help him. You see, while Robin was pointing out that women don’t go for men who act like little boys, Barney took it as a challenge. He spent the entire episode speaking like a little boy and getting nowhere. When he finally throws in the towel, he finds a woman who likes to role-play “Mother and Child” in the bedroom. But now he needs Robin to get the woman out. She agrees to do so. Meanwhile, Ted has an epiphany while out with Becky. As she licks her ice cream cone, he ties her shoe…only to spy a father doing the same for his young daughter. He stands up and walks away.
Oh! And Lily rules out “Jamie” as a name for their future child. We see paint on her butt as she walks away. Lily, maybe you should stop painting. Or wear a smock like my teachers did while we had paint. Seriously.
How I Met Your Mother time again!
We start at MacLaren’s. Robin discuss Maury Povitch, how she saw him. But everyone has seen him and Robin’s not a real New Yorker. She’s Canadian. Robin argues she is, she’s been in the city six years now! Marshall says she’s not a real New Yorker until she sees Woody Allen, Ted says it’s not until she’s stolen a cab from someone who really needed it, Lily says its when you’ve cried on the subway and not cared what everyone else thought, and Marshall says it’s when you’ve killed a cockroach with your bare hands. Barney invites them to a steakhouse downtown so Robin suggests taking a cab. Lily says a New Yorker knows the subway is faster—take the 1 to the 2 or 3. Ted argues that the buses are more reliable on the weekends. And as a Staten Islander who especially relies on the 1 train, I can attest that’s true. Damn weekend construction. Barney complains that there is always some crazy person no one wants to sit next to on the bus and that’s why he doesn’t ride it. Marshall says he can outrun a bus. Barney says he can eat a steak and outrun them all.
And the race is on!
CREDITS!
Everyone spreads out and Lily goes for the subway. Future!Ted tells us “Why Lily Needed a Win.” We see Marshall and Lily trying to get pregnant. He tells her Eriksens are fertile men. But all her tests are negative. She sees a miniature Marshall taunting her, claiming it isn’t his fault and that his mom hates her. She goes to pee on the stick again as miniature Marshall panics and real Marshall is just confused. So Future!Ted says that Lily really needed this win. She jumps into a one train as the doors…remain open. Maury Povitch sits there watching her and comments “Idiot.”
Meanwhile, Marshall starts to run and puts a song in his head. It’s a Johnny Cash-esque song entitled “Marshall vs the Machines.” As he speeds past a wheelchair grandmother, Maury Povitch steals Robin’s cab. Meanwhile, Maury is still sitting next to Lily, who listens to the garbled conductor announcements saying that there is weekend track work (duh, it’s the 1 train) and that there will be a twenty-minute delay. A tourist family is impressed. There are also usually signs posted around the station saying the same thing. Anyway, Maury is sitting behind Ted on the bus as Future!Ted explains “Why I Needed a Win.” A few nights before Marshall tells Ted about RateMyProfessor.com. I’m sorry, copyright, so GradeMyTeacher.net. Ted’s just learning about this? My mom learned about it within her first semester. He goes on and finds great reviews, complete with word designs like movie reviews. Until he comes across “Boring.”
While Ted blathers on to his unfortunate bus mate, Barney fakes a heart attack (complete with “Elizabeth!”). Robin steals someone’s cab—check that off the New Yorker list. Meanwhile, Barney learns his ambulance will be taking him uptown rather than downtown. He panics as we see everyone still trying to get to the steakhouse. With the woman Robin stole the taxi from on top of the cab.
Barney calls someone from the ambulance before Future!Ted tells us “Why Robin Needed a Win.” He talks about Robin falling in love with Don before he took her dream job in Chicago, which she turned down because she loved him. Now, we meet her new co…It’s Laura Bell Bundy’s episode? NO WAY! She jumps in, all excited and very Elle Woods like. She tells Robin she’s not her to step on her toes then announces she has cookies. Soon, Becky eclipses Robin. Meanwhile, Marshall still runs as his theme song plays. Barney jumps into a car being driven by RANJIT!
On the bus, the woman Robin stole a cab from sits next to Ted, who tells her useless facts. She moves but…WHY DOES SHE LOOK FAMILIAR? Anyway, as Ted annoys the bus driver and seriously, they get an authentic looking New York subway car but not an authentic looking New York bus?, Barney picks up Robin. She asks if this was his way of apologizing as we see earlier, in MacLaren’s, she wanted to talk to him about Becky but he blew her off for a cute girl at the bar. She then talks about how New York seems to be rejecting her. She thinks he doesn’t care but he really does. We see a bit of Barney’s love for Robin as Ranjit turns up the smooth jazz. Meanwhile, both Marshall and his theme song past Barney’s car. He gets out as Ted realizes he’s the crazy person on the bus. As he gets off, everyone cheers.
Everyone then meets up at one spot. Ted offers to call it off but they take off as Maury passes with his dog.
Lily catches a two train at Union Square (and we hear Maury say “Idiot” as she dives in again), on which Robin is…just a car ahead. She thinks some hot guy is checking her out, but then notices the ad advertising Becky. She rips it off, only to see it was covering up a picture of her and Don. She cries and snaps at the people…successfully checking off that thing on her list. As Barney takes a ride, Future!Ted tells us “Why Barney Needed a Win.” Barney goes on about how awesome he is as Future!Ted realizes he didn’t need a win but did smell incredible. Barney takes over biking. Lily gets off and runs into Robin. She declares that New York won and that she wants to move somewhere new. Lily says she can’t. Because then Lily would have to follow her, so Marshall would have to follow Lily, and Ted would follow Marshall. Upside: Might get rid of Barney. Robin hugs her as the conductor announces something. Lily pretends not to understand it, gets off as the doors close and tells Robin that the train is expressing to Borough Hall. Then the doors open and Robin runs out.
Ted talks to an exhausted Marshall, who collapses. As he comes to, some guy dressed in a calculator suit asks if he needs help. Marshall screams and announces the machines have won. He then yells he can’t run that far or that he can’t get Lily pregnant. Ted tells Marshall to calm down—it’s only been two months, not two years. Marshall tells Ted he’s freaking out over one bad negative review amongst fifty good ones. “Sixty-four” Ted corrects. As the calculator gives a bad pun, they push him down. Ted takes off while Lily pulls Marshall into Ranjit’s car.
Robin, Ted and Barney meet up and race to the steakhouse. Robin wins and wonders how. Future!Ted reveals that Marshall and Lily come clean about their pregnancy nerves. They realize they have a list of things to do before parenthood and that the pregnancy is not a race. It’ll happen when it happens. Marshall asks Ranjit to take them to Coney Island. He does so. Meanwhile, he tells us how he think Barney saw Robin’s face and, while Barney says that he tripped, tackled Ted. When he confronts Barney, he distracts him with how awesome he smells. Robin talks to the cute guy she nearly ran over and he says that Woody Allen is in there. But it’s just Maury. As Robin kills a cockroach (free meal!), Future!Ted declares her a real New Yorker. Meanwhile, Barney and Ted have fun at the bar while Marshall and Lily snuggle in Ranjit’s car.
There is no tag this week. But October 13th is International Suit Up Day. So, follow Uncle Barney’s rules and Suit Up!
Quote of the Episode:
“Is anyone else suddenly craving green eggs and ham?” –Robin, as they discuss transportation options.
With Don taking the job in Chicago, breaking poor Robin’s heart, our favorite early early EARLY morning newscaster needs a new co-anchor.
Enter Laura Bell Bundy, who was nominated for a Tony for her role as Elle Woods in Legally Blonde The Musical. According to reports, she’s been cast in How I Met Your Mother as Robin’s new co-anchor who may have a storyline with Ted. Maybe she’s the mother? Maybe she’ll be a girlfriend Ted keeps around for more than one episode? Either way, I’m excited for this casting news. I’ve seen Bundy in both “Wicked” (as Glinda) and Legally Blonde. She’s a good comedic actress and will serve as a nice foil to Robin.
So, all this casting news is making me excited for the new season!
